Members dZjupp Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 do you take your mid-day dumpola at the old boss potty? or do you like to enjoy the comfort of the home anus~chunk waterbucket? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brooks Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 I like knowing that I'm getting paid to drop a loaf. Its a magical feeling, really Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members us2bslim Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 I'll do it at the orifice, if need be. If I can't burp, fart, and smell offensive there, then where am I s'posed to do it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gethsemane Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 the problem with taking a dump at work is that no one will unleash the beast until the bathroom is clear. i had to take a dump real bad at work one day, and much to my chagrin, two guys were having a mexican standoff. each were in their respective stalls and hadn't budged 20 minutes after my first visit to the john. i ended up infiltrating another floor and punishing their porcelain instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dZjupp Posted August 5, 2005 Author Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by Brooks I like knowing that I'm getting paid to drop a loaf. Its a magical feeling, really yeah i sometimes feel like this, then there are other times i reserve my right to hold it and plop a turd crack in the porcelain at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dZjupp Posted August 5, 2005 Author Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by gethsemane the problem with taking a dump at work is that no one will unleash the beast until the bathroom is clear. i had to take a dump real bad at work one day, and much to my chagrin, two guys were having a mexican standoff. each were in their respective stalls and hadn't budged 20 minutes after my first visit to the john. i ended up infiltrating another floor and punishing their porcelain instead. ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members us2bslim Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 I don't get it. Seriously, they call it the crapper for a reason. Get in there and cut loose. Its none of anybody's business if you're havin' a noisy gusher and tearin, the enamel of that bowl. You gotta go, you gotta go. Only girls worry about whether their poo is icky. I KNOW my stuff stinks, and...on occassion....is raucously loud. DEAL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gethsemane Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by dZjupp ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wasn't funny at the the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members valvedriventone Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by us2bslim I don't get it. Seriously, they call it the crapper for a reason. Get in there and cut loose. Its none of anybody's business if you're havin' a noisy gusher and tearin, the enamel of that bowl. You gotta go, you gotta go. Only girls worry about whether their poo is icky. I KNOW my stuff stinks, and...on occassion....is raucously loud. DEAL. Women are WAAAAAAAAY worse than men as far as the stink-factor goes.Makes sense since it's where they go to fart.Or so I've heard..........literally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moonhead Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by us2bslim I don't get it. Seriously, they call it the crapper for a reason. Get in there and cut loose. Its none of anybody's business if you're havin' a noisy gusher and tearin, the enamel of that bowl. You gotta go, you gotta go. Only girls worry about whether their poo is icky. I KNOW my stuff stinks, and...on occassion....is raucously loud. DEAL. +1 do your worst -- just don't forget to log off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gethsemane Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by valvedriventone Women are WAAAAAAAAY worse than men as far as the stink-factor goes. Makes sense since it's where they go to fart. Or so I've heard..........literally there may be some truth to that. i swear, this little bombay cat ive got had some ass parasites which made her toxic. id rather live in a plastic bag with a rottweiler's ass than smell another one of her butt bombs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members (((echo))) Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 oh how i miss my old sales job with the bathroom right on the sales floor along with the old timers who worked there that would spend twenty minutes working on the death bomb that would be carried out with them to envelop me and my customers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members us2bslim Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Now I don't want my position misinterpreted. Sure....you oughta go for it, BUT that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do a couple of mercy flushes as needed and if available, spray some Lysol. This isn't intended to be a stank contest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thelonius Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 I come to work so I can take a {censored}. We have a janitorial staff that keeps the bathroom really clean. My bathroom at home is filthy, who wants to take a dump in there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jcn37203 Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 I refuse to do it. Not gonna happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members us2bslim Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by jcn37203 I refuse to do it.Not gonna happen. Colon cancer here I come! WEEEEE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jcn37203 Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by us2bslim Colon cancer here I come! WEEEEE! Nah, I live like 3 minutes from work. If the need strikes, I can be home, done, and back within 15 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jeverist Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Yes, its a cut and paste job, sue me. The Guide to Taking a Dump at Work Escapee -- A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing a police car while speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. Jailbreak (Used in conjunction with escapee) -- When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun's pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. Courtesy Flush -- The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. Walk of Shame -- Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Out of the Closet Pooper -- A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out of the Closet pooper before entering the bathroom. Pooping Friends Network -- A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS. Safe Haven -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom. Turd Burgler -- A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when work taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way, you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. Camo-cough -- A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE. Astaire -- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. Watermelon -- A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH. Havana Omelette -- A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE. Uncle Ted -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees. Fly-by -- The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave, and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom. Crack Whore -- A crapper that has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. Tell- tale signs of a CRACK WHORE include pubes, piss stains and {censored} streaks. Avoid CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget, a CRACK WHORE can become a SAFE HAVEN. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jeverist Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 us2bslim is apparently an Out of the Closet pooper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sstim8or Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by jcn37203 I refuse to do it.Not gonna happen. See even if I lived that close, I wouldn't go home. A trip to the john in the morning is just part of the daily routine. I couldn't care less who hears/smells it. It's gotta happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jcn37203 Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Hmmm, back in college I had a "Safe Haven" in the bottom floor of the library, in the back, where they kept the periodicals. {censored}ing sweet. The only down side was the creative writing on the walls was sometimes disturbing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jcn37203 Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by sstim8or See even if I lived that close, I wouldn't go home. A trip to the john in the morning is just part of the daily routine. I couldn't care less who hears/smells it. It's gotta happen. I've actually gotten my routine down to where it never happens. So it's not an issue. Plus I go home for lunch usually, so I have ample opportunity to TCB in the comfort of my own home, on my padded elk-skin toilet seat, with my chinchilla fur TP and the Calvin Klein bidet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dZjupp Posted August 5, 2005 Author Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by us2bslim I don't get it. Seriously, they call it the crapper for a reason. Get in there and cut loose. Its none of anybody's business if you're havin' a noisy gusher and tearin, the enamel of that bowl. You gotta go, you gotta go. Only girls worry about whether their poo is icky. I KNOW my stuff stinks, and...on occassion....is raucously loud. DEAL. whoa, this reminds me of a guy named wesley walker, something terribly wrong with that guy, i mean wow, he could clear out an entire block Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members us2bslim Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by jeverist us2bslim is apparently an Out of the Closet pooper. YES I AM!!!!!!I'M NOT A WOMAN!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bucket_brigadier Posted August 5, 2005 Members Share Posted August 5, 2005 {censored}ting on the clock rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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