Members Loghead Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 I wanna {censored} in my pants. I'm not talking about sharting. I do that all the time. I'm talking about pumping out a steaming dump. {censored} that. I'm gonna take a dump in my bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dethmetalanimal Posted July 22, 2006 Members Share Posted July 22, 2006 (warning i can't spell) onetime i had a stomach virus, but didn't realize it. i woke up that morning not feeling so great. my stomach just felt kinda off. i decieded to get something to eat and try to make myself feel better. that didn't do the trick and by that night i had a fever along with feeling nauseas all day. i didn't have any kind of stomach medicine in the house so i went to wal-mart to pick some stuff up. i stagger through the store, feeling like i'm about to fall over and pass out the whole time. i finally get what i need and start making my way to the registers. i get about 20 ft, within the check out lines and feel a little rumble. the place was packed and noisey as hell so i figured noone would notice the difference. even if they did, i felt so sick that it didn't really matter, cause at that point i was beyond humillity, or so i thought. so i let one rip, and thats when things got bad. i had sharted myself, in the middle of wal-mart. the first thing to go through my mind was that i wanted to get home as fast as possible, but then i realized i still needed the medicine. i waited in line like that for about 5-10 mins. i went to the doctors the next day, and he said he couldn't prescribe anything for a virus. so basically just had to lay on the couch for the next 48 hours feeling like i was gonna die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dethmetalanimal Posted July 22, 2006 Members Share Posted July 22, 2006 Originally posted by gav1973 Few years ago when i was living with my parents, i'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth when there's an urgent knocking on the door. I unlock it and my dad runs in, 'give me a minute, i'm busting' so i walk out and close the door. After about 30 seconds he walks out saying false alarm so back in i go. Approximately 30 seconds later my dad comes bursting through the door and scuttles to the toilet, at this time i'm trying to get out of there as quickly as possible. I manage it but just before i've shut the door my dad lets out the most amazing sound - the only thing close to it is that sound you get when you blow onto the top of an empty bottle, it was like that but also had that effect you get when 2 cars pass each other . I'm pissing myself with laughter at this, it was that loud that my mum heard it downstairs! Then the icing on the cake, my dad shouts out 'christ, it's gone'. He had shat that hard and fast that it had just shot round the bend without even leaving a skid - must have come out at about 100mph!To this day i still get reduced to tears if i hear something similar to that 'bottle sound'. LOL!!! someones ass should not make that sound! hahaha i've been having a bad week followed by a bad friday night. thanks man i needed that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tonemeister87 Posted July 22, 2006 Members Share Posted July 22, 2006 This has to be the best thread ever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Facejackets Posted July 22, 2006 Members Share Posted July 22, 2006 this threand wins the interweb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Facejackets Posted July 22, 2006 Members Share Posted July 22, 2006 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Melorock Posted July 22, 2006 Members Share Posted July 22, 2006 Well...I was eating chocolate ice cream...(whyd I click on this thread???) Anyway who knew pant {censored}ting stories are so funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members firesdoom Posted July 22, 2006 Members Share Posted July 22, 2006 This needs a bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dethmetalanimal Posted July 22, 2006 Members Share Posted July 22, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Random Hero Posted July 22, 2006 Author Members Share Posted July 22, 2006 Originally posted by Loghead I wanna {censored} in my pants. I'm not talking about sharting. I do that all the time. I'm talking about pumping out a steaming dump. {censored} that. I'm gonna take a dump in my bed. How did it feel man? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EpiPaul03 Posted July 22, 2006 Members Share Posted July 22, 2006 One time, my friends and I got the bright idea to do the ole {censored} in the bag trick. Well, we went in my friend's room and one of my friends had to take a {censored} really bad...So he goes, but totally misses the bag and it completely stained the floor!! WE just started {censored}ing yelling and screaming at him, but i was dying laughing...that's probably my funniest {censored} story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Difficult4 Posted July 23, 2006 Members Share Posted July 23, 2006 Once I sharted in my shorts while I was in the middle of mowing a huge lawn at work. Had to finish the lawn before I could clean up. BAD SITUATION. Good thing I had a few napkins in my lunchbox. Total surprise too, felt fine, just thought I had to fart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crosscut Saw Posted July 23, 2006 Members Share Posted July 23, 2006 Here is my horror story. Several years ago I had probably the worst flu of my life. No relief could be found, my ears were ringing, eyes bloodshot, chills, fever, couldn't breath......you name a flu symptom and I had it. I was reduced to rolling around in my bed in my undies trying to find one spot that provided some comfort and I found it in an awkward position in the middle of the bed with my back against the wall, legs spread and knees up. Just as things are going pretty good I feel them getting a lot better, a big squeaker is about to be unleashed. Nothing feels better when horribly sick than to let off a little steam. So I grin and give it a little nudge..............shart is too light of a term for this one. I sprayed my bed with flu {censored}. Now I have to get out of the bed but I'm in the middle with no way out so I attempt a spider like move on my hands and feet lifting my soiled undercarriage while shimmying out. This would normally work but the flu had me weak and I know I left a skid trail. I remember taking everything off my bed for my poor mum to deal with and taking them downstairs to the garage. Half way there my brother spots me and I simply state "I {censored} the bed"........one of the worst nights of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jacked Posted July 23, 2006 Members Share Posted July 23, 2006 I have been rollin' laughing at this thread for the last 15 minutes. Thanks guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tonemeister87 Posted July 23, 2006 Members Share Posted July 23, 2006 Originally posted by Crosscut Saw Here is my horror story. Several years ago I had probably the worst flu of my life. No relief could be found, my ears were ringing, eyes bloodshot, chills, fever, couldn't breath......you name a flu symptom and I had it. I was reduced to rolling around in my bed in my undies trying to find one spot that provided some comfort and I found it in an awkward position in the middle of the bed with my back against the wall, legs spread and knees up. Just as things are going pretty good I feel them getting a lot better, a big squeaker is about to be unleashed. Nothing feels better when horribly sick than to let off a little steam. So I grin and give it a little nudge..............shart is too light of a term for this one. I sprayed my bed with flu {censored}. Now I have to get out of the bed but I'm in the middle with no way out so I attempt a spider like move on my hands and feet lifting my soiled undercarriage while shimmying out. This would normally work but the flu had me weak and I know I left a skid trail. I remember taking everything off my bed for my poor mum to deal with and taking them downstairs to the garage. Half way there my brother spots me and I simply state "I {censored} the bed"........one of the worst nights of my life. I hate the flu, but that is one funny story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Armitage Posted July 23, 2006 Members Share Posted July 23, 2006 Originally posted by Abouttreefitty I remember that thread very well! I still tell people about some of the stories....Guys who hid in a stall next to his boss, popped a paper bag and literally scared the {censored} out of him, all over the bathroom wall... That was me! Good memory! Yeah, Good ol'Gerry! We don't miss him much. He used to go for a crap everyday around two... and he was such an arse! So I waited in the stall for him to come in... I listened for him to undo his belt... unzip his pants... start pulling his pants down (all bent over) then BANG! BBrrrrraPPP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NoodleFace Posted July 23, 2006 Members Share Posted July 23, 2006 Originally posted by Crosscut Saw Here is my horror story. Several years ago I had probably the worst flu of my life. No relief could be found, my ears were ringing, eyes bloodshot, chills, fever, couldn't breath......you name a flu symptom and I had it. I was reduced to rolling around in my bed in my undies trying to find one spot that provided some comfort and I found it in an awkward position in the middle of the bed with my back against the wall, legs spread and knees up. Just as things are going pretty good I feel them getting a lot better, a big squeaker is about to be unleashed. Nothing feels better when horribly sick than to let off a little steam. So I grin and give it a little nudge..............shart is too light of a term for this one. I sprayed my bed with flu {censored}. Now I have to get out of the bed but I'm in the middle with no way out so I attempt a spider like move on my hands and feet lifting my soiled undercarriage while shimmying out. This would normally work but the flu had me weak and I know I left a skid trail. I remember taking everything off my bed for my poor mum to deal with and taking them downstairs to the garage. Half way there my brother spots me and I simply state "I {censored} the bed"........one of the worst nights of my life. That sort of happened to my sister. We all had the flu, but me and my brother were both getting over it and had to babysit our sister who had just gotten the flu. She's kind of sitting in the corner of the couch wearing a nightgown or something and all of a sudden is smells like absolutely diarrhea. She wouldn't move at all, you know how young kids can be stubborn. We told her you have to get up sometime, but she just kept crying and saying no. Eventually she got up and there was just a mass of diarrhea everywhere, since she had been there so long it stained the entire couch because it leaked under the cushions. We had to throw away the couch, there was no way to clean up what happened. Someone picked that couch off our front lawn lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tonemeister87 Posted July 23, 2006 Members Share Posted July 23, 2006 Originally posted by NoodleFace That sort of happened to my sister. We all had the flu, but me and my brother were both getting over it and had to babysit our sister who had just gotten the flu. She's kind of sitting in the corner of the couch wearing a nightgown or something and all of a sudden is smells like absolutely diarrhea. She wouldn't move at all, you know how young kids can be stubborn. We told her you have to get up sometime, but she just kept crying and saying no. Eventually she got up and there was just a mass of diarrhea everywhere, since she had been there so long it stained the entire couch because it leaked under the cushions. We had to throw away the couch, there was no way to clean up what happened. Someone picked that couch off our front lawn lol You have me grinning like an idiot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Facejackets Posted August 23, 2006 Members Share Posted August 23, 2006 I had to bring this one back to life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mr R Gecko Posted April 11, 2009 Members Share Posted April 11, 2009 OK, so this is a really old thread but the piping hot farts thread on the 1st page reminded me of the thread I started years ago about "piping hot farts". I searched for it, and came across this. Some of you new guys might appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BusterBuster Posted April 11, 2009 Members Share Posted April 11, 2009 I'VE NEVER {censored} MY PANTS Not even when I was a baby ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zoomzilla Posted April 11, 2009 Members Share Posted April 11, 2009 Never trust a fart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crappymonkey Posted April 11, 2009 Members Share Posted April 11, 2009 Wow. Seems like yesterday. 2004? Damn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlcramer Posted April 11, 2009 Members Share Posted April 11, 2009 Greatest thread EVAR.... I love HCAF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Y0UNGBL00D Posted April 11, 2009 Members Share Posted April 11, 2009 no. but i {censored} my pants at work once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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