Members myredshoes Posted November 19, 2008 Members Share Posted November 19, 2008 The song I woke up with this morning was about heroin. It starts like: open bottle vodka crawl right in bide my time 'til heroin steal a couple vicodin bide the time til heroin Friday come the eagle soar balloon go up so I can score this is all I'm living for I just want a little more... I don't like the knots so tight I just want to see the light I just want to feel the heat warm my body get some sleep... butterfinger breakfast cup of gin bide the time til heroin... and so on and so forth, that's the gist of it, and the guitar line just fell off the fretboard. But I don't use heroin and to the best of my recollection never have. So I'm not going to be writing any songs about it. I don't believe in writing songs about stuff I don't know. So I'm stuck here with a bull{censored} lyric and a nice hard blues guitar bit and I think I'm going to call it Baby's skin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MisfitKay138 Posted November 19, 2008 Members Share Posted November 19, 2008 my skin is like heroin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members myredshoes Posted November 19, 2008 Author Members Share Posted November 19, 2008 heroin takes vitamins cuz it wants to be your skin when it grows up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted November 19, 2008 Moderators Share Posted November 19, 2008 I like most of it a lot. Can't you change me/my/I to her/her's/she? open bottle vodka crawl right inbide her time 'til heroinsteal a couple vicodinbide her time til heroin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MisfitKay138 Posted November 19, 2008 Members Share Posted November 19, 2008 does this have to do with these past few days? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members myredshoes Posted November 19, 2008 Author Members Share Posted November 19, 2008 I like most of it a lot. Can't you change me/my/I to her/her's/she? open bottle vodka crawl right in bide her time 'til heroin steal a couple vicodin bide her time til heroin Thanks; that's a possibility. It felt very first person just still dreamish, not fully formed. I don't know where it will go right now. I like the guitar part that came of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members myredshoes Posted November 19, 2008 Author Members Share Posted November 19, 2008 does this have to do with these past few days? Yeah I almost always write about what is happening now, rarely tell old stories. Probably the drug stuff and drinking imagery stuff comes from dreams during the night. I like to work early a.m. when my consciousness is still sorta loose and squishy. I think I self-censor less before I'm fully awake and once I'm at work everything is different. It's hard to write during breaks once the workday has started. I can write in the evening though and was writing listening to the new bass tracks last night, it's just a different kind of writing. Not worse or better, just different. I think maybe I'm more objective and more prone to coherent storytelling at night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matximus Posted November 19, 2008 Members Share Posted November 19, 2008 The song I woke up with this morning was about heroin. It starts like: open bottle vodka crawl right in bide my time 'til heroin steal a couple vicodin bide the time til heroin Friday come the eagle soar balloon go up so I can score this is all I'm living for I just want a little more... I don't like the knots so tight I just want to see the light I just want to feel the heat warm my body get some sleep... butterfinger breakfast cup of gin bide the time til heroin... and so on and so forth, that's the gist of it, and the guitar line just fell off the fretboard. But I don't use heroin and to the best of my recollection never have. So I'm not going to be writing any songs about it. I don't believe in writing songs about stuff I don't know. So I'm stuck here with a bull{censored} lyric and a nice hard blues guitar bit and I think I'm going to call it Baby's skin. I don't know about this one, man. It's too bouyant and sing-songy for me. I mean you're singing about heroin. Are you being chipper? This reads like "High Ho! High Ho! Off to shoot heroin I go!" I mean, that could be idea worth exploring - a giddy song about heroin that mirrors the mindless joy of shooting up. This doesn't really do that, though. I'm also wary of you seemingly making light of a topic that you cop to knowing little about. I've had a couple junkie friends. That {censored}'s really not funny. It's like Aids or Cancer. Demands some gravity. But Heroin is a seductive topic. If you're going there, you might want to consider three awesome tunes about heroin as a guide here: Mr. Brownstone by GnR - kinda cheeky, yeah. But its dirty as hell and RAWKS! There She Goes by The La's - A sublime love song about shooting up. Simple, brilliant and suggestive without beating you over the head about the song's true meaning. Heroin by Velvet Underground - no dispute about what this ones about. Two chords that drone. And drone. And Drone. And Drone. Gives you an idea of what withdrawing from heroin might feel like. Oh yeah, and Needle and the Damage Done, of course. THe main thread that ties these songs together, for me, is that I really believe each artist here has dabbled in heroin, or at least truly lost someone that has. There's truth in each tune that comes across. You know what I think the best thing in your song is? That line about ButterFinger Breakfast. It's a silly phrase that matches the tone of what you're doing here. I like the alliteration. I also like what it suggests. I mean, what kind of person eats a butterfinger for breakfast? A junkie certainly would. But anyone one on a downward spiral would find a candy bar a perfectly suitable for the most important meal of the day. Maybe there's a song there. Cheers MM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted November 19, 2008 Members Share Posted November 19, 2008 ^^^^Agreed - rhyme scheme is way too dependent on "in". Also agreed about "Butterfinger breakfast" being the only keeper line. Honestly I think you're fighting an uphill battle here - junkies being what they are there are already too many other, much better informed, songs about junk. "I'm going down to the place tonightSee if I can get a taste tonightTaste of something warm and sweetShiver your bones and rise to your feetI'm going down to the place tonightA damp and hungry place tonightShould all the stars shine in the skyThey couldn't outshine these sparkling eyes" -Chris Whitley, Some Candy Talking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members myredshoes Posted November 19, 2008 Author Members Share Posted November 19, 2008 Thanks and thanks again. Many good points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted November 20, 2008 Members Share Posted November 20, 2008 I recall Jackson Browne singing about cocaine....runnin' all around his brain. Anyway........the songs that come early in the morning like that are usually strong ones and are not to be dismissed lightly. The heroin thing is tough to sell but might work in conjunction with another storyline. Sometimes I get a tune like this that dead ends and I put it aside until something else comes along to combine with it. Perhaps another morning will bring something more positive that can act as a foil for this theme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.