Spooky-type Lyrics -- Comments?

[Sad Navigator]

Spice Cake/Red Cap

 

We're sipping from a bitter sea

In haunted hungry times

Called to account for pettiness

And sordid, rotten crimes

 

There's no dancing lightward, Johnny

No slippery escape

Heaps of bills yet unpaid

Wrapped in brittle, yellow tape

 

One might think it hopeless

But one would be amiss

There are plenty of good reasons

for getting so sad down

like how you'll be right devoured, kid

when real horror comes to your town

 

Spice cake on the table

and glitter up the walls

Keep a proper smile on

'case the redcap really calls

 

Spice cake on the table

and glitter up the walls

Keep a proper smile on

'case the redcap really calls

[Etienne Rambert]

I think you're really original. Your themes are dark and kind

of gruesome. But you're a poet.

 

I send my condolences. You've been afflicted with poetry.

You'll be a poet as long as you live, whether you write anything or not.

 

There's no cure for that disease.

 

I hope you keep posting here.

[Sad Navigator]

 

I think you're really original. Your themes are dark and kind of gruesome. But you're a poet. I send my condolences. You've been afflicted with poetry. You'll be a poet as long as you live, whether you write anything or not. There's no cure for that disease. I hope you keep posting here.

 

 

 

Thanks for the additional kind words. I suppose my stuff is a little dark. It doesn't always seem that way to me, but I've really be letting the love of Poe, folktales, and all things Halloweeny flow of late.

 

Thanks, also, (I think) for the poet diagnosis. It's just something that happens.

[rsadasiv]

Nice - I'm hearing this as a kind of sea-shantey, maybe something sung by the crew in an Aubrey-Maturin novel.

[mpeddle]

I like the words a lot too. You'll have to let us hear you sing it

[Sad Navigator]

 

Nice - I'm hearing this as a kind of sea-shantey, maybe something sung by the crew in an Aubrey-Maturin novel.

 

 

That's an interesting idea. I'd not yet really thought what I was going to do with this musically.

[Sad Navigator]

I like the words a lot too. You'll have to let us hear you sing it

 

I'm totally behind on recording. I've was applying to grad school this spring. And between that and volunteer stuff and socializing and work and family and house work...

 

I had a great opportunity when my wife was out of town the other week, but I had swine flu and couldn't breathe. I'm just going to need to block out time on the calendar and treat it like a session or band practice commitment.

[Etienne Rambert]

Sad Navigator:

Spice Cake/Red Cap We're sipping from a bitter sea In haunted hungry times Called to account for pettiness And sordid, rotten crimes There's no dancing lightward, Johnny No slippery escape Heaps of bills yet unpaid Wrapped in brittle, yellow tape One might think it hopeless But one would be amiss There are plenty of good reasons for getting so sad down like how you'll be right devoured, kid when real horror comes to your town Spice cake on the table and glitter up the walls Keep a proper smile on 'case the redcap really calls Spice cake on the table and glitter up the walls Keep a proper smile on 'case the redcap really calls

 

 

I hear it as a waltz.

 

I'd love to set it to waltz music.

[Sad Navigator]

Given the sea chantey and waltz recommendations, I'll try and give these lyrics a 3/4 setting.

[blue2blue]

Spice Cake/Red Cap We're sipping from a bitter sea In haunted hungry times Called to account for pettiness And sordid, rotten crimes There's no dancing lightward, Johnny No slippery escape Heaps of bills yet unpaid Wrapped in brittle, yellow tape One might think it hopeless But one would be amiss There are plenty of good reasons for getting so sad down like how you'll be right devoured, kid when real horror comes to your town Spice cake on the table and glitter up the walls Keep a proper smile on 'case the redcap really calls Spice cake on the table and glitter up the walls Keep a proper smile on 'case the redcap really calls

 

Some cool wordplay and interesting images and references here. Redcap is Jamaican beer, yeah? Or am I thinking Red Stripe? Spice cake and glitter on the walls... slips past me but that's OK. I don't mind a little mystery, as long as I feel like the songwriter isn't just stringing together nonsense to string me along.

 

I did think the "one might think it hopeless" verse seemed problematic in construction/word flow. However, it may be a matter of delivery. Sometimes a set of lyrics can look wack on paper and yet make good rhythmic and other sense when performed.

 

Very promising.

 

[Sad Navigator]

Some cool wordplay and interesting images and references here. Redcap is Jamaican beer, yeah? Or am I thinking Red Stripe? Spice cake and glitter on the walls... slips past me but that's OK. I don't mind a little mystery, as long as I feel like the songwriter isn't just stringing together nonsense to string me along. I did think the "one might think it hopeless" verse seemed problematic in construction/word flow. However, it may be a matter of delivery . Sometimes a set of lyrics can look wack on paper and yet make good rhythmic and other sense when performed. Very promising.

 

You're thinking of Red Stripe, and I think that having that arrive on the scene could be the worst kind of horror. But the bottle is neat. There's a Haitian beer (unavailable outside Haiti, I believe) that comes in a similarly styled bottle. It's not good enough to bother tracking down.

 

A red cap is a bogey or sorts. Vicious buggers. I'm guessing that delivery will sort any of the meter things that I'm not too hot on. Might drop or add a word here or there.