A short rocker for your examination

[Beakybird]

I just remixed this song. I'm thinking of entering it in a contest, but I think it might sound too much like a hybrid of early Stones, Beatles, and Kinks. Do you think I might have a tiny chance of winning? Is there anything you think is necessary to change?

 

It's catchy, I suppose. Lots of testosterone.

 

TITLE: It's Like a Rocket

GENRE: Pop Rock

BPM: 148

DURATION: 2:17

LINK: http://www.myspace.com/larrylevin

LYRICS:

 

 

It

[teambulimic]

"It's like a rocket, you just can't stop it" sounds a bit too familiar for me. You may want to work on making the line (and lyrics in general) a little more distinct. Do you have a recording?

[Beakybird]

http://www.myspace.com/larrylevin

 

As far as it being familiar, the only similar lines that I know of is from "Keep Cool" from West Side Story:

 

"You got a rocket

In your pocket

Keep cool."

 

If anyone knows about the lines I used

 

"It's like a rocket

You just can't stop it"

 

being used in a song, I would be most interested.

 

Beakybird

[mpeddle]

I'm not really getting the testosterone vibe. The arrangement isn't really raw or aggressive, in my opinion, which detracts from your intended message. The arrangement was tight, regardless.

 

The solo in the middle was good--a strong point. Lots of 50s/60s Chuck Berry-type licks that fit like a glove.

 

The vocal melody was good, but the delivery was not very effective. You're on pitch and so forth, but your tone is kind of nasal and quavery. You should experiment with your voice and work on that, because I think it detracts from a lot of your songs, which would be much stronger otherwise.

 

Keep at it!

[Okieslims]

Damn dude.. You really got something going.. I'm impressed.

[Nick*]

Everything seems to be in place with this song. I think the vocals rock out very well too. Not necessarily the "rock" type of song I was expecting. Reminds me of more of a 50's-60's beach rock n roll type of tune...if you know what I mean. If that is the type of sound you are going for, then it's pretty much perfect.

 

Lyrics don't remind me of another song......

 

Very good job

[rhino55]

I think the kettle analogy is great but anyone calling there love a rocket I instantly get a spinal tap flesh torpedo vide. This is just after reading the lyrics. I cant listen to it now but will later. Again, I really like the kettle analogy. I think its unique and clever.

[Bodyguard2112]

It won't play for me.

 

[mpeddle]

I agree with Rhino re: the flesh torpedo vibe. The whole rocket metaphor feels dated to me, although I suppose you are attempting to emulate a campy 50s/60s style rock song, maybe it's appropriate.

 

It sounds like a B-side from Hairspray to me.

[tspit74]

Larry,

 

It's got a good energy. I think the song is tight. I'm not crazy about the blatant drum machine sound. It's hard to get those dry, tight, jugga-jugga, freeze dried drum sounds to swing and rock out. I don't mind the rocket thing. This is rock 'n' roll. Willies are called rockets. Overall, probably a little too clean of a recording. It sounds a bit restrained and held back. The character's hormones are racing and the zipper on his pants hasn't worked in 3 weeks. I'd like to hear those guitars reflect all the horny-ness the singer possesses. Good early 80's new wave power pop tune though.

 

As for the rest of the songs on your page, I finally got a chance to listen.

 

Scuba - You already know what I think of this. Next...

 

Vista - Larry, you're the hook king, man!

 

All the Give that You Got - Kind of a Ben Sidran/Leon Russell vibe. Great piano playing. Any song that has the word, artichoke in the first line has to be worth a listen.

 

House of Love - Cool guitar tone with some Carlos licks.

 

Millions & Millions - Timeless folky quality. Solid.

 

Steel Drum - I like all the sexual innuendo. Very rock 'n' roll. Musically, has a good Phili-soul vibe.

 

Tear that Lost Fear - Cool lyrical hook.

 

Sweet Purple Dream - Nice retro sunshine pop. McCartney would be proud.

 

If you cook as well as you write songs, I'll be over at 6:00 tonight for dinner.

[spazdr8cr]

Larry,

 

I like the song, the lyrics sound original to me.

 

I'd like the guitars to be a little more powerful, and I'm not really hearing bass.

 

I think think the vibraphone undermines the rockin sound you want here. It's a sound I associate with relaxed quiet music.

 

Good song!

[Beakybird]

I really appreciate your feedback. And I listened to many of your comments.

 

The comments that sank in were 1). Guitars not aggressive enough, and 2). Not enough bass, and 3). Needs real drums.

 

I turned up the 2 guitar voices a tad, and added a little crunch to the rhythm guitar. I turned up the bass a bit too. I also made the "It's like a rocket" harmony a bit louder.

 

I wish I knew more about programming EZDrummer. I own EZDrummer, but I just don't have enough drum knowledge to get it to sound right for me. I'm just using the drum sounds from my Yamaha PSR-S900.

 

Of course everyone has different tastes. Mpeddle doesn't like my voice. Often, I don't like my voice either. I do sing professionally. I do over 500 shows (mostly for seniors) per year. I do my fair share of groups with Alzheimers and also a fair share of very active seniors. I often get complimented on my voice. Extrapolating that to being a professional act for a younger crowd is quite a leap. I'm happy that most of the listeners weren't annoyed by my voice as this is something I have very little control over.

 

spazdr8cr says, "Take out the marimba." You're the second listener who's said that. It's not coming out yet, but I'll think about it. I like the marimbas on a lot of Violent Femmes tunes and on "Under My Thumb" by the Stones.

 

Thanks to tspit74 for listening to all of my tunes. You are a neighbor, and I would like to meet you some time. But I don't cook as well as I write songs. I prepared a delicious soup this morning for tonight's dinner, but I forgot to plug in the crock pot!

 

I remixed the song, and just posted the remix at http://www.myspace.com/larrylevin.

 

For those who can't hear audio, I am posting the mix at http://www.reverbnation.com/larrylevin

 

Beakybird

[speierg]

Much of what I would have said has already been said...one thing that I haven't heard yet is that some of the background "ahhh ahhhs" seem to be WAY too high in the mix.

 

Made me think of the Grease soundtrack...I think that did pretty well.

[Beakybird]

 

Much of what I would have said has already been said...one thing that I haven't heard yet is that some of the background "ahhh ahhhs" seem to be WAY too high in the mix. )

 

 

That's a pretty obvious flaw. I corrected that, and I have posted the updated mix. Thanks so much!

 

Beakybird

[speierg]

I thought I was listening to the remixed version...I followed the link you provided for the remix on your myspace page...if that WAS the remix, they probably still need to come down a bit more.

[Beakybird]

 

I thought I was listening to the remixed version...I followed the link you provided for the remix on your myspace page...if that WAS the remix, they probably still need to come down a bit more.

 

 

I remixed it again after your post. It was your keen observation that led me to lower the volume of those "ahs" significantly.

 

Thank you so much

 

Beakybird

[mpeddle]

The remix definitely sounded better than the original.

 

I hope my comments didn't come off too sharp---getting the vocal performance just right is really tough! I know the feeling of struggling to get one's voice to do what you want it to. Do you have any vocal training? I've gotten a lot of bang for my buck from working with brett manning's singing success CDs. I whole-heartedly recommend it for improving tone and building additional range. I'm much happier with the sound of my voice and I've increased my upper range by about a 5th since I started practicing according to his method.

 

Kudos for playing live so actively. Sounds like you do some really nice work.

[Mikeo]

cool tune, initally it had a late 70's vibe to it like the Cars, but then it was kinda all it's own thing.

 

The production is very good through my cheap head phones, but very generic and canned too.

 

all in all, I liked

[Mikeo]

 

I just remixed this song. I'm thinking of entering it in a contest, but I think it might sound too much like a hybrid of early Stones, Beatles, and Kinks. Do you think I might have a tiny chance of winning? Is there anything you think is necessary to change?

 

 

submitt the tune, you have nothing to lose.

 

Even if you don't win, you will learn what you might do differently on the next contest or song.

 

If you want the Beatles/ Stone/ Kinks thing, you need to get more stripped down an raw.

 

Real drums with old school micing, the correct and amps or modeling amp that simulate the old school stuff.

 

Mic it all up old school style and that will give you the Beatles/ Stone/ Kinks vibe as far as tones.

 

 

remember back in the day the used 8 tarcks and then 16 tracks, and had to really plan out stuff

[Beakybird]

It's good to hear from a verifiably real person that the Brett Manning is worth it. I will check it out.

 

Hey, mpeddle, don't worry about offending me. You can't please everyone, but I want criticism. It's always nice to say what you like and what you don't like instead of just being negative - and I think you did that.

 

Actually, I appreciate you taking the time to listen to the tune, twice!

 

Beakybird

[kurdy]

It's rock 'n roll via Broadway, or maybe a jingle from a TV commercial. Actually, it sounds like it could be something from Grease--kind of a "Grease Lightnin'" vibe. I'm really not getting Stones, Beatles or Kinks.

 

Here's the thing--you're obviously very good at what you do. Your songs, for what they are, are generally well-written, arranged and produced. If I were you, I'm not sure whether I'd waste my time trying to make myself sound edgy or more contemporary. Not that it would necessarily be a waste of time. But I think it would be an uphill battle, since it's obviously not you. Even just your singing voice has a lot of energy and personality, but there's no mistaking it for a twenty year old. If you were interested in going after a younger audience, or get on the radio, it would be a different story, but you say that you have a pretty good following of older people who really like what you do. So maybe keeping the marimba in there really wouldn't do you any harm.

 

That's not to say that there's anything wrong with challenging yourself either. I think it would be fun to hear what you might come up with that could work in the context of today's music...but only if it's something that personally interests you. If not, then don't sweat it.

[mpeddle]

Manning's CDs are a bit pricy, and a lot of the things he has you do are kind of obvious, but I think he does a better job describing the vocal mechanism than other people I've talked to/read.

 

In particular, the way he thinks about mixed voice and head voice is very effective for me. And, for the uninitiated, a strong mixed voice is essentially the holy grail of good pop/rock singing, allowing for a more powerful tone in your upper range.

 

In addition, he really shows you how to find the high notes in the first place. Everyone has them, if you know how to look. They'll feel like falsetto at first, but they turn into useable notes in short order. I used to struggle with getting anything above a G over middle C because I tried to sing high notes by pushing my chest voice.

 

To me, the most important step is just recording your voice a ton. Nothing debugs your vocal foibles like daily review. I usually write a 30-60 second long chord/melody sequence, sing whatever nonsense fits over it and experiment with vocal texture. I've found this process extremely rewarding.

[rsadasiv]

 

It's got a good energy. I think the song is tight. I'm not crazy about the blatant drum machine sound. It's hard to get those dry, tight, jugga-jugga, freeze dried drum sounds to swing and rock out. I don't mind the rocket thing. This is rock 'n' roll. Willies are called rockets. Overall, probably a little too clean of a recording. It sounds a bit restrained and held back. The character's hormones are racing and the zipper on his pants hasn't worked in 3 weeks. I'd like to hear those guitars reflect all the horny-ness the singer possesses. Good early 80's new wave power pop tune though.

 

 

Eloquently put.

 

Overall a good song. I would go ahead and enter it.

[Beakybird]

Thanks for listening. Obviously, the song could be done better: Better vocalist, better production.

 

I'm glad that some enjoyed it. Hopefully, someone who counts will see it as a diamond in the rough.

 

A few of the comments made me feel really old. I'm 47, and I started thinking about how, say someone like Bill Haley, who wrote "Rock Around The Clock" felt in the '70s or '80s. When that song came out, it was revolutionary, and now it sounds so tame, like a song for old farts.

 

Here I am, recording my song, thinking I am sounding so hip and cool, and some on this forum, presumably youngsters, tell me my music sounds like I have one foot in the grave.

 

Beakybird

[tspit74]

Don't take it hard. Just do your thing and if you like it, other people will like it. I can't say that girls 13-17 will like anything you do. But people do like your stuff. I know I do. Of course, I'm 38 (which according to the forum poll this week means that I'm just as old a fart as you). There will always be fans of intelligent, adult oriented pop. It's just that magazines and taste makers don't talk about it because it's not as sexy as the new and young. I've never bought a record based on hype. I buy them for the music. So take heart. In the words of an even older fart than us, Kevin Cronin, "Keep Pushin'."