Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 28, 2010 Moderators Share Posted January 28, 2010 1st draft. Any ideas? It a rockin' rave up. Think Slade... and my new favorite group The Odds. Ummm... think the riff to Honkey Tonk Woman but sped up and if anyone knows the song Crawlin' From the Wreckage by Graham Parker/Dave Edmonds... rapid fire delivery like that: Feel the Pain ChorusCome on and Feel the PainFeel the PainYou drank so much liquor never do it againLike peeling layers from an onion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted January 28, 2010 Members Share Posted January 28, 2010 You are on a rockin' roll with this one. I like that it starts with a chorus. I definitely get the 'Crawlin' From The Wreckage' thing and that helps with the reading of the lyrics. It's got a good story with multiple characters...that's pretty cool. It is a bit wordy, but we know that you can handle that.......after all, we are talkin' about chur brain here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 28, 2010 Author Moderators Share Posted January 28, 2010 Yes... my mouth will be busy. I'm going to see if I can make it work tonight. I've been singing it in a whisper at my desk all morning to get the twist out of the tougue. I think it'll work. The "feel the pain" bit are the only things that aren't rapid fire. Come-on-and Feeeell___theeeeeee_____PAIN!Feeeell___theeeeeee_____PAIN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted January 28, 2010 Members Share Posted January 28, 2010 I guess it's been long enough... Long enough, in fact, that it took me the better part of half a minute of searching my memory shards for the end of the inspirational line -- which I believe was noize. So... long enough, I guess. Anyhow, I share the lookin-at-the-lyrics concern about wordiness and, also, it looks pretty long on the page. Unless those lyrics just come tumbling and flying out, I'm guessing we're talking about something like 4 minutes at midtempo. Four minutes is an eternity in pop music, to my thinking. The bit about the parking tix rang a bell for me... every time I bump into one of my old tennants around town it seems like he's just had his car towed yet again for unpaid sweeper tickets. He's like a poster child for self-sabotage, at least on that front. I'm thinking, Lee, that that section may have been inspired by some of your young, musician clients. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 28, 2010 Author Moderators Share Posted January 28, 2010 I guess it's been long enough... Long enough, in fact, that it took me the better part of half a minute of searching my memory shards for the end of the inspirational line -- which I believe was noize. So... long enough, I guess. Anyhow, I share the lookin-at-the-lyrics concern about wordiness and, also, it looks pretty long on the page. Unless those lyrics just come tumbling and flying out, I'm guessing we're talking about something like 4 minutes at midtempo. Four minutes is an eternity in pop music, to my thinking. The bit about the parking tix rang a bell for me... every time I bump into one of my old tennants around town it seems like he's just had his car towed yet again for unpaid sweeper tickets. He's like a poster child for self-sabotage, at least on that front. I'm thinking, Lee, that that section may have been inspired by some of your young, musician clients. Noize. Well... I'm not stealing that bit. Just the vibe of some of their crunchy, fun stuff It flies... It'll be around 3 minutes I'm hoping. Anybody remember the song Get Out of Denver? Quick, rapid fire. And the inspiration is soley my personal experince with hangovers (past) and the ability to screw myself over. Then complan about it. Can't blame anybody but me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members easilyspooked Posted January 28, 2010 Members Share Posted January 28, 2010 if i have the tempo for this right in my head it's awesome. my one immediate suggestion would be to add lot's of "baby"s and "c'mon"s whereever there might be a rested syllable so it's wall to wall words, lots of space in there to really jam it in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 28, 2010 Author Moderators Share Posted January 28, 2010 if i have the tempo for this right in my head it's awesome.my one immediate suggestion would be to add lot's of "baby"s and "c'mon"s whereever there might be a rested syllable so it's wall to wall words, lots of space in there to really jam it in. Exactly. You got it... There's also a 8th note machine gun c-c-c-c-come-on and...Feel the pain with a snare doubling the c-c-c-c- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted January 28, 2010 Members Share Posted January 28, 2010 Noize. Well... I'm not stealing that bit. Just the vibe of some of their crunchy, fun stuff It flies... It'll be around 3 minutes I'm hoping. Anybody remember the song Get Out of Denver? Quick, rapid fire. And the inspiration is soley my personal experince with hangovers (past) and the ability to screw myself over. Then complan about it. Can't blame anybody but me. I can't believe he got through that twice... Although, no question, it doesn't exactly blend into one voice. And I'm talking about the Dave Edmunds version which I assume is the original. I noticed versions by Eddie and the Hot Rods as well as The Nobodies [the both sound vaguely familiar but after about '78 I didn't pay much attention to any band with a plural name... that was so '75. I do remember another Eddie & band, Eddie and the Subtitles -- but until this moment it never occurred to me to wonder if it was the same Eddie. (I'm not sure, actually, that I even realized they were two separate bands... though I just saw an Eddie & the Subtitles cover somewhere in the last week or so.) Anyhow, yeah, he packs in a lot of words and at that clip, I'm thinking you probalby could get your words into 3 minutes and maybe have room for a Chuck Berryfied middle 8. That said... do you really want to? The Berryisms, I mean. It sounded so stale in the DE version. And I always liked Dave Edmunds (and Chuck Berry, for that matter, at least up until his horrific late 60s comeback with the hideous "My Ding-a-Ling." Gawsh, I wanted to strangle Chuck.) "Crawling Out of the Wreckage" was my song for the first couple days (of the two months) that I was in the hospital following getting nailed on my motorcycle in '80 by a careless driver. So, definite soft spot for Dave. And, you know, not really fair to talk about a solo in a 30 year old song being stale, huh? But, that said, this is 2010 and I suspect you're going to want to do something with a guitar in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 28, 2010 Author Moderators Share Posted January 28, 2010 That said... do you really want to? I do! It's going to be a gas. I like when I can hear it all in my head and I keep replaying it and refining. By the time I get home I'm ready to map it out and go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted January 28, 2010 Members Share Posted January 28, 2010 I was still editing... I just meant the Chuck Berry style solo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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