Crybaby

[hurtchow]

Here's a song I'd like for you guys to hear. I'm pretty pleased with this one so I'd like for it to be heard!

 

http://www.myspace.com/bettergangway

 

These are the lyrics.

 

my feelings are hurt

i desire everyone to see

my feelings are hurt

i desire everyone to leave

 

it's getting better than you think you know

that there's a point in a tirade

the loudest voice will show

only who's more stubborn

 

this feeling tells me that i've gone too far

but not enough to get my way

i need what i have got

on my mind this moment

 

you make me a crybaby

you make me cry

--

 

thanks everyone.

[Lee Knight]

Wow. The ghost of Brian Wilson! I loved it. Great references from pop's past into a modern sound. I love the tremolo guitar. The verbed out clave. The melodica. But mostly I love the song. And your voice.

 

One quibble if you decide you're going to make any changes. Personally I'd say

 

my feelings are hurt

i WANT everyone to see

my feelings are hurt

i WANT everyone to leave

 

Desire works with your tone. You pull it off, no doubt. It's just that it borders on "word usage in song that never appears in life" territory. Like I said, the tune's awesome. If you decide to make changes... I'd consider it. WANT echoes the crybaby theme and is what someone would actually say. "I want everyone to LEAVE!!!"

 

I'll tell what I just love...

 

the loudest voice will show

only who's more stubborn

 

 

That's great stuff. I love your grasp of pop history and how you use it without sounding like tribute nonsense. You have a very cool outlook and sensibility.

[Etienne Rambert]

It's really a beautiful production. Wow!

 

Reading the lyrics, I prepared myself to be bored.

But wow! What a production!

 

Superb! It's one of the best things I've heard around here.

[Mcfontio]

But but but... where's the wah?

 

Nice layering in any case. Was that an actual accordion in there?

 

If I was you, I would use that phrase at the end somewhere else in the song. Say, the bridge. It's got that power phrase feel that I love oh so much.

[LondonSi]

It's a bit too folk for my personal taste, and in my opinion it could really use drums, but maybe that's me missing the point.

 

Very well put together though and I like your voice.

[rockinrobby]

I don't know if it's myspace, or the recording, but there's something about the bass and kick and compression, can't put my finger on it. The bass seems to be rumbling like maybe it could use a high-pass? And I'm not sure how it's EQ'ed as opposed to the kick. And I hear the acoustic rhythem (sounds good) and the electric, but during the verse, I can hear the acoustic, without much else supporting the sound. I would add a piano or a synth in there to cover/fill in the higher range in the spectrum. Oh wait there's an organ? Toward the end? But it sounded a little cheezy to me :-( And there's a piano? Well what do you know :-)

 

I did like the song, and your performance was very good.