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early stages - help needed!


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Legs indeed. I love the street lamp lyric. Love it all. Some thoughts since you say you're in the early stages.


There's-no.... place like home.


I think you could clean up the rhythm of "there's-no". There are lot's of options but no matter which one you go for, you should own it. It's the pay off. Now it sounds unsure. Play with some different ways to place 16ths. You rushing them into 32nds and you don't need to...



And! :) I keep hearing it bust into a more Lady Madonna piano part playing a bit more driving 8ths. Not pounding but leaning toward Paul's upright style. And though the tempo is a bit slower than Lady Madonna, I think it could be cool. The intro as is... then into an almost jovial bouncing/pouncing piano.


I love this one.


Oh! and... :)


The bridge. Consider routing your melody to some lower notes. You're staying in the same range as the surrounding bits. I think a change heading just a little south would be effective... then back up into the chorus.


Nice, Mr. Stick.

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cool thanks lee - i will certainly try that piano idea.... it definately needs some kind of pick me up on second verse onwards.


What you tinking for the "place like home" line i know what you mean it just kinda carries on from the previous words but i did try a few alts and it just felt like i was trying to get extra words in... im open to suggestions if you have any.


Im considering dropping the piano from the intro but we shall see, it all just feels a bit basic to me with guitar and piano just playing straight chords, im gonna see if i can replace with something more interesting but it may end up staying as it is


useful comments - thankyou

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You could try a 8th note triplet on there's no


You could drop "there's", Wherever I roam... no place like home


You could sing "there's no" with exactly the same note value as the preceding "wherever" which is 8ths.


I like doing the triplets on "there's no" then "place like home" gets 1/4 accents like...



(1-4 note triplet) (rest)there's(2 of triplet) no(3 of triplet)



Place(3) like(4) home(1)

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Ok i tidied up a few things - still not finished yet, see what you think


Lee - you think this slight change in line delivery is helping... i think it probably is?


got a few more tricks up my sleeve yet




heres a little bonus too..... i just pressed record and made something up as i went along....may be ok with some tidying






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