Members stickboymusic Posted November 19, 2010 Members Share Posted November 19, 2010 Hello Just wrote a newie today and have recorded a guide track Its a bit bog and empty right now - the piano needs a lot of work and i intend to add a lot more to the song overall, fill out the gaps, harmonies etc... you think its got legs? http://soundcloud.com/stickboy/wherever-i-roam-guide-track x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted November 19, 2010 Moderators Share Posted November 19, 2010 Legs indeed. I love the street lamp lyric. Love it all. Some thoughts since you say you're in the early stages. There's-no.... place like home. I think you could clean up the rhythm of "there's-no". There are lot's of options but no matter which one you go for, you should own it. It's the pay off. Now it sounds unsure. Play with some different ways to place 16ths. You rushing them into 32nds and you don't need to... And! I keep hearing it bust into a more Lady Madonna piano part playing a bit more driving 8ths. Not pounding but leaning toward Paul's upright style. And though the tempo is a bit slower than Lady Madonna, I think it could be cool. The intro as is... then into an almost jovial bouncing/pouncing piano. I love this one. Oh! and... The bridge. Consider routing your melody to some lower notes. You're staying in the same range as the surrounding bits. I think a change heading just a little south would be effective... then back up into the chorus. Nice, Mr. Stick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted November 19, 2010 Author Members Share Posted November 19, 2010 cool thanks lee - i will certainly try that piano idea.... it definately needs some kind of pick me up on second verse onwards. What you tinking for the "place like home" line i know what you mean it just kinda carries on from the previous words but i did try a few alts and it just felt like i was trying to get extra words in... im open to suggestions if you have any. Im considering dropping the piano from the intro but we shall see, it all just feels a bit basic to me with guitar and piano just playing straight chords, im gonna see if i can replace with something more interesting but it may end up staying as it is useful comments - thankyou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted November 19, 2010 Moderators Share Posted November 19, 2010 Options: You could try a 8th note triplet on there's no You could drop "there's", Wherever I roam... no place like home You could sing "there's no" with exactly the same note value as the preceding "wherever" which is 8ths. I like doing the triplets on "there's no" then "place like home" gets 1/4 accents like... (1-4 note triplet) (rest)there's(2 of triplet) no(3 of triplet) Place(3) like(4) home(1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted November 19, 2010 Author Members Share Posted November 19, 2010 ahhhh man i wish i was actually musical i have no idea what you're talking about! haha..... just for clarity how am i doing it as it is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted November 19, 2010 Author Members Share Posted November 19, 2010 ahhh hang on instead of pl--ace like home it would be more equal place - like - home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted November 19, 2010 Moderators Share Posted November 19, 2010 ahhh hang on instead of pl--ace like home it would be more equal place - like - home? Yeah, that's the idea. Don't know if it's "better". You're plenty musical you SOB!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted November 19, 2010 Author Members Share Posted November 19, 2010 ha i dont know ANY theory really.... if gonna give that a go as singing it through it does feel a bit better and puts more emphasis on the "home" which is important thanks man!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marshal Posted November 19, 2010 Members Share Posted November 19, 2010 Cool. Very nice. Only thing that didn't work for me was the: "Home; Tie a heart to a stone; suitcase never known" stuff. That seemed a little contrived. But, otherwise it's really very good. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted November 20, 2010 Author Members Share Posted November 20, 2010 Ok i tidied up a few things - still not finished yet, see what you think Lee - you think this slight change in line delivery is helping... i think it probably is? got a few more tricks up my sleeve yet http://soundcloud.com/stickboy/wherever-i-roam-still-unfinished-but-getting-closer heres a little bonus too..... i just pressed record and made something up as i went along....may be ok with some tidying http://soundcloud.com/stickboy/the-watery-tale-of-a-boy-called-boy SB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted November 20, 2010 Moderators Share Posted November 20, 2010 God... you're good. Yeah, I love what you did. Oh! I dig the walking bass on the last chorus for the couple bars. Cool. clever. I like this a lot. The way you've changed the hook line does it for me. nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted November 20, 2010 Members Share Posted November 20, 2010 ..... i just pressed record and made something up as i went along....may be ok with some tidyinghttp://soundcloud.com/stickboy/the-watery-tale-of-a-boy-called-boy Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ido1957 Posted November 22, 2010 Members Share Posted November 22, 2010 Cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted November 23, 2010 Members Share Posted November 23, 2010 Love the boy called boy song!!!! This is beautiful!! SO TALENTED!! I envy you so much...and find such joy in your talent too. The other song won't work though, I go to the link and it says the page isn't there. *pout of sadness* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted November 23, 2010 Author Members Share Posted November 23, 2010 Sorry Grace - i finished the song its here now http://soundcloud.com/stickboy/wherever-i-roam i think i prefer the other one song though.... this one i slaved over to get it just right, the other i just placed a mic and made it up as i went a long and added an organ ahhh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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