Found My Way Back Home

[LeonardScaper]

Wow....there's lots of material to look at around here. As usual, of course, I've been sequestered in the studio as a slave to the muse.

 

This one features some pretty starightforward lyrics, but I'm a bit concerened about the spots where I'm singing two different parts together. Nor sure if it really works as that is the place where the real message needs to come across.

 

Found My Way Back Home

 

I found my way back home

And you were there waiting

I found my way back home

And there you were

I found my way back home

And you were there waiting

I found my way back home

I found my way back home

I found me way

 

I followed the path into the mountain

And its stream washed my spirit back down

And then the mist in the distance

set me back on solid ground

I walked the streets of my survival

Til my feet found the way back home

To where you were

 

instr.

 

I found my way back home

etc., etc., etc.

 

I bathed in the fountain

To wash away my sins

I prayed to the goddess

And she welcomed me back in

I stayed in this concrete forest

Til I found my way back home

[Chicken Monkey]

The two-voices-at-once thing is problematic, but I think it's fixable. If it were two voices, you'd be fine, but since you're overdubbing and it's the same voice in both places, it muddles. You should be able to fix it w/ some EQ, or adding some echo or something to one of the voices, or moving one of the voices into a higher/lower range so the two voices aren't walking around in the same space.

 

There isn't a lot to the lyrics, so there isn't a lot to offer as far as crit. Nothing wrong with a simple lyric. Musically, the breathy voice barely implies the melody in some places, and it's weak where you go to the V chord (I don't have the ear to tell which key you're playing in away from the instrument, so I don't know which chord it is). It doesn't help that the arrangement is kind of muddy about which chord you're playing. It leads to some weak harmony. Might also benefit from a steady beat in there somewhere, even if it's just a rim click or foot tap. I like the ever-reaching instruments sound, but it all kind of washes out here.

[oldgitplayer]

Another good song Lenny, but your concern is justified. It's awfully busy in the verses so the 2nd vocal either needs to be pulled back to 'a voice in the distance' or even discarded.

 

With your chorus, as a listener I became fatigued from the repetition of the primary line.

Would you consider replacing the last 2 lines with a single line almost rhyming with 'were'.

 

I found my way back home

And you were there waiting

I found my way back home

And there you were

I found my way back home

And you were there waiting

I found my way back home

.... .... ...... sure. (or something similar)

[LeonardScaper]

Thanks, Gents........it is as I suspected.

 

That second voice did start as a heavily EQ'd. 'telephone' kind of thing, but I couldn't get it right and I gradually pulled it back until at the end I found myself EQ'ing it to sound the same.

 

I really do want to keep the concept so..........work to do.

 

Funny thing is that I played this one for a long time without that second set of lyrics and I was not displeased with it as a song with only one basic lyric. I tracked it that way and felt great about the harmonies. When I wrote the second set I found that I was very happy with the message, but less so with the delivery.

 

Hey CM.......I wonder how it might work if I put those harmonies in the 'phone booth' rather thatn the lead vox?

 

Regarding that last line.....think I'll take it right out and see what the space does.

[LeonardScaper]

OK......made some adjustments to those stacked vox.

 

Is this fun....or what?

[Lee Knight]

I'm digging the Len. Funny enough, I've been driving around listening to the Staples Singers. This has that sort of almost gospel, testify to a greater truth sort of vibe to it. I need to start by saying this is really, really cool. Don't stop short. I really think you're onto something with this one.

 

My observations:

 

I think you need to change the melody of that mountain voice. It needs to be the star, not a support role. You could leave it as is and start by taking what really are backup singers and spreading them wide. None in the center to confuse the issue. Only the mountain vocal up the center. They're fine when that voice isn't singing so you might want to alter the panning for different parts of the tune, but I suspect if you took that chorus of voices and made sure they were split wide and gave the stage to him... things would open up.

 

 

But I think there's still an issue with the part itself. You can contrast with eq but it will never really do what I think you're hearing in your head. I'd sing it with less breath, take it higher in melody, and leave it full fidelity up the center. This is Mavis here. Let her shine! Uh... you know what I mean.

 

I'd have a 2 + 4 sound right off the bat. It does have this almost gospel quality in your delivery. I'd give that support. But not with drums. Just a soft pat on a box or your lap. Just a 2 and 4 to give your very cool rhythm some frame work.

 

And I think OGP is on to something. The chorus has a nice repetition, I love it, but it would be cool to add variation. I'd do it in a different spot than he suggests though. I'd alter the lyric in the bolded spots below:

 

I found my way back home

And you were there waiting

I found my way back home

And there you were

I found my way back home

And you were there waiting

I found my way back home

I found my way back home

I found me way

 

But having said all that ^, more importantly, let me say I think this tune is awesome. It has a sort of repentant yet strong feel to its mood. Very powerful combo there Mr. Len. You've come home. I love it.

[LeonardScaper]

Hey Lee......thanks.

 

You know the more I work this one the more I like it. And I am still grinding hard on a solution to that double vox part. I like what happened when I split the Mountain voice off to the right and hit it hard with an automated HPF. I also put a phone booth reverb setting on the choral vox and automated that as well....still not right, though.

 

I'll strip everything back down and give your excellent suggestion a shot.

[kurdy]

I listened to the sections in question...regarding the vocals, I think what you're dealing with here is a mix issue. It sounds a bit awkward, because the lead vocal (or what should be the lead) is mixed way back, and the background vocals are mixed way upfront! You may want to reverse that. Add some reverb to those nice harmonies and keep them in the background as texture...there's no real need to hear them clearly, since they are just echoing the lead anyway. And then bring that lead vocal up, so we can hear what it is you're singing. Sometimes the best solution is the simplest one.

 

I might rerecord the lead vocal in that first section (which I think is a chorus?) that starts with "I followed the path into the mountain". As it stands now, it's sort of a half-singing half whispering...I think it would benefit from actually singing the melody. The second chorus, "I bathed in the fountain", you seem to be singing it out a little more...so maybe just make the first section more like the second one.

 

I think these small changes could solve 85% of the issues with the song.

[LCK]

It's very good. I don't think it's sustainable to have you doing both vocal tracks. You need a choir.

 

I also think you need to add another musical element, a bridge or break, preferably in another key. It doesn't have to be much, maybe just 4 bars. But I think you need to leave the main element and come back to it fresh. There's only so much you can accomplish (or gloss over) with production tricks. The song itself needs to hold its own w/o any of that stuff.

 

LCK

[rickidoo]

I see there is already plenty of good suggestions on the structure of the song. I think mix adjustments will do a lot to bring out the gem that is hidden within this song.

 

So I will just weigh in with a few overall comments.

 

The song connects with me personally. It's kinda a moody, reflective piece. There is no sap at the end of the tunnel and we are not quite sure if the home you found your way back to is the home you started in, or another you happen to go back to. That is the draw for me when I listen to this song. (e.g, we all find our way back home multiple times, but its not always to the same place... as we construct new homes along our life.)

 

I love the melody of "I found my way back home" which you drive home across the song.

 

When you hit the "I found my way back home verse" the first time, its length, pause, and emphasis works I think. But the 2nd time you hit it, I've already watched the show. What I am saying is, I think the 2nd go through you ought to think about surprising the listener with a shortened and perhaps more direct "I found my way back home" verse. I am just feeling that the song would benefit by using that verse (the 2nd time around) as a launching point rather than a landing field for the listener.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

A really cool song, that will be no doubt much improved in its next version. Hope you will post that.

 

Rick

[Lee Knight]

 

. There is no sap at the end of the tunnel and we are not quite sure if the home you found your way back to is the home you started in, or another you happen to go back to.

 

 

"There is no sap at the end of the tunnel"

 

Perfect^

 

That's what I dig about Len. He can write a sensitive tune without being sappy. This is a great example, and Rickidoo, I think you summed it up perfectly.

[Marshal]

Hhhhmmm.

 

The first chorus (?) with nothing but the repeats got a little repetitive for me. Both when I read it and when I listened. I wanted something to happen. I do like how you leave out a word here and there changing emphasis. That's a Lenny thing that works nicely. But somehow that first stanza/chorus/whatever needed something to bring in home for me. (You've heard me rant before about my feeling that the first verse needs to engage the listener somehow. That's my fetish).

 

The first real verse is juicy. But the background singing with the repeats made it muddy. I think it would be more normal to combine the different melodies at the end of a song after each element has been previously established in it's own right with the listener.

 

I enjoyed the chord change for the instrumental and waybacks.

[LeonardScaper]

Hhhhmmm. The first chorus (?) with nothing but the repeats got a little repetitive for me. Both when I read it and when I listened. I wanted something to happen.

 

Yeah...this is one of those tunes that just had to go down like that. I played the heck out of it just like this.....got all mantric with it..... and when it came time to track I just decided to catch it in it's raw form, knowing full well that it would come across as somewhat repetitive.

 

Problem is with me.....who knows if I'll get to a proper revision. I keep thinking that there will come a time when I'll stop working on new stuff and go back to some of the ones like this that could just get a little better with another fleshing out.

 

Unfortunately, that won't happen quite yet as I have another that is already being tracked.

 

Somebody stop me!

[LCK]

Somebody stop me!

 

Not a chance.

 

LCK

[Marshal]

. . . , Somebody stop me!

 

Hell No ! ! ! !

[LeonardScaper]

[rsadasiv]

Late to the party....

 

Another good one Lenny - lyric reminded me of the Odyssey.

 

I think the overlapping vocals are still a problem, and basically agree with Chicken Monkey's points on the arrangement/harmony.

 

Oh yeah, and don't stop. Never stop. You're my songwriting hero.