Members Oswlek Posted February 28, 2012 Members Share Posted February 28, 2012 Typing this in bee's thread gave me an idea. Anything here? (Edit: looks like Ram beat me to the punch in that thread, but whatever...) OpenI've got a...V1Melody for the chorusAnd the tempo for the verseI'd really have somethingIf only for the words (If I only had the words)V2But the lyrics are elusiveNever quite know what to sayHow to pull it all togetherIn a meaningful wayRLanguishing in languageV3Is it an adjective (that) I need hereOr an adverb that is bestDoes this prepositionPass the grammar testV4My mind is stuck on emptyFeeling pressed for timeToo many cliches?Too forced a rhyme?RLanguishing in language This pretty much sums up my writing process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted February 28, 2012 Members Share Posted February 28, 2012 It sounds like an interesting experiment. I'm usually a little leery of songs about writing songs, but with enough flair, who knows? LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted February 28, 2012 Members Share Posted February 28, 2012 I'm usually a little leery of songs about writing songs, but with enough flair, who knows? +1. "Your Song" is good, tho, and Paul Simon's "Song About The Moon" is nice. I bet there's a billion examples of why this is a bad idea, tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted February 28, 2012 Members Share Posted February 28, 2012 It sounds like an interesting experiment.I'm usually a little leery of songs about writing songs, but with enough flair, who knows?LCK +2. I know that I love the meta-idea too much, so I've set up a mental censor to keep the world safe. YMMV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted February 28, 2012 Author Members Share Posted February 28, 2012 Wow, I never realized this subject was so taboo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sandy Cheeks Posted February 28, 2012 Members Share Posted February 28, 2012 +1. "Your Song" is good, tho, and Paul Simon's "Song About The Moon" is nice. I bet there's a billion examples of why this is a bad idea, tho. George's This Song, ftw. [video=youtube;bsUkACDSIZY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsUkACDSIZY "This song ... is in E" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted February 28, 2012 Moderators Share Posted February 28, 2012 I like it Justin. One way around the drawbacks are to make it about the one you love. Can't find the words type of thing. Cat got your lyric. So, on the surface, a word block, deeper, she's got you in a state where you are languishing in language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted February 29, 2012 Members Share Posted February 29, 2012 Adding to Lee.... if you could work in how you never click with the cliques, how you missed her in the mist, how you covered all the bases as the basis for your love... oh, nevermind. Bad idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted February 29, 2012 Members Share Posted February 29, 2012 Adding to Lee.... if you could work in how you never click with the cliques, how you missed her in the mist, how you covered all the bases as the basis for your love... oh, nevermind. Bad idea. I likes it... LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted February 29, 2012 Members Share Posted February 29, 2012 Oswlek, As I read and reread the lyrics, it struck me that just as they are, there's something good there and something missing. And the something missing is trumping the good, at the moment. What's good about it is you are writing about something you know about, and the sincerity of that comes right through in the lyrics. It's a personal experience you are relating, and that has potential. IMHO, the very best songs are when the audience thinks/feels that the singer is REALLY talking about something very personal to them. Think James Taylor "Fire and Rain". (And that turns out to be more real than not...) What's lacking is a contrast to something that is more generally relevant to people's lives. And so what I would suggest is you think about how you could chorus it such that the whole music writing thing is brought back into something more personal, e.g, writing lyrics is like finding the words to tell someone you care about them, or the melody is like the connections you've made in your life. Just my 2 cents. Rick [video=youtube;cwugjyeSKx4] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted February 29, 2012 Moderators Share Posted February 29, 2012 ^ That sums it up very well ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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