Members IllinoisJack Posted August 1, 2012 Members Share Posted August 1, 2012 Just kinda hit me as funny. Feel free to add anything you want. I will edit in the good ones. vA plate of spaghetti killed my Great Uncle Eddie,He was buried in the same red-stained suit.Aunt Bess was a gobbler till she took up that cobbler,and turned just as blue as the fruit.So don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chriscarnucci Posted August 1, 2012 Members Share Posted August 1, 2012 Now the family tree, it's easy to seeHas gotten quite thin as of late.And our family reunions, I shutter to tell younsAre smaller than previous to date.So the moral I tell ya, if your a bright fella and not easily led astray.Is to chew up your food, and don't be a boobOr the reaper may take you away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted August 1, 2012 Members Share Posted August 1, 2012 Just kinda hit me as funny. Feel free to add anything you want. I will edit in the good ones. A plate of spaghetti killed my great Uncle Eddie,He was buried in his new suit.Aunt Bess was a gobbler till she took up that cobbler,and turned just as blue as the fruit.So don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted August 1, 2012 Members Share Posted August 1, 2012 Love it! You'll have even some adults reaching for their dictionaries. Uh... if they had dictionaries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HoboSage Posted August 1, 2012 Members Share Posted August 1, 2012 One is much more likely to choke on steak than spaghetti, and besides, I don't think you should use both an Uncle "Eddie," and a Cousin "Ed." A big juicy steak killed my Great Uncle Jakewith a piece too big for his chuteAunt Bess was a gobbler till she took up that cobbler,and turned just as blue as the fruit.So don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members IllinoisJack Posted August 1, 2012 Author Members Share Posted August 1, 2012 Good point. But I liked the Undle Eddie line first - so I changed the cousin to Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members IllinoisJack Posted August 1, 2012 Author Members Share Posted August 1, 2012 added another verse. Join in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted August 1, 2012 Members Share Posted August 1, 2012 added another verse. Join in. No thanks. I'm working on my own stuff (including work on "Cruel Wind," and an attempt to put together a scientific questionnaire for people whose dogs may have post-traumatic stress disorder). However, this was the funniest of them all so far: My brother Petera competitive eatertried winning the hot dog grand prizehe ate like a hooverbut the Heimlick maneuvershot weiners from both of his eyes Terrific. LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted August 1, 2012 Members Share Posted August 1, 2012 No thanks. I'm working on my own stuff (including work on "Cruel Wind," and an attempt to put together a scientific questionnaire for people whose dogs may have post-traumatic stress disorder).However, this was the funniest of them all so far:My brother Petera competitive eatertried winning the hot dog grand prizehe ate like a hooverbut the Heimlick maneuvershot weiners from both of his eyesTerrific.LCKThat's blinkin' hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 1, 2012 Moderators Share Posted August 1, 2012 this is great stuff!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 1, 2012 Moderators Share Posted August 1, 2012 Though she was born toothless, cousin Heidi was ruthlessSteal the beans right off of your dishBefore you'd catch on, she'd head to the johnWhere she'd suck them down with a swishOne time I swapped, some marbles keenly toppedWith legumes to complete the ruseFrom the bath out in backI could hear her hack-hackThose "beans" were as good as a noose, ha! ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 1, 2012 Moderators Share Posted August 1, 2012 Our family friend Kaito from just outside of Kyoto Understandably preferred his fish rawLast year when he visited, we all sat riveted As he attempted a medium well gnawHe chewed and he chewed, soon hilarity ensuedHe couldn't get through the daily catchSo I had to point out, "Friend, that's a rubber trout" Come on Ma! put out the real batch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 1, 2012 Moderators Share Posted August 1, 2012 One day at work, oh I work with a jerkHe talked me out for lunchHe's fat and he's loud and he's rude and he's proudBut hey! He's was paying for my munchSo I did my best, to not mention his breastsAs he breathed down a burger and shakeGod, what he knocked back, so in the words of Illinois JackMasticate man! Please! Masticate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members IllinoisJack Posted August 5, 2012 Author Members Share Posted August 5, 2012 I added a bridge - see above Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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