Members RickDieffenbach Posted September 6, 2012 Members Share Posted September 6, 2012 I really don't have a name, or a hook, for this song. But I do have some lyrics and the start of some music for it. I've been in a dry spell lately. This is a small sprinkle. Any suggestions on anything? (Besides find a new hobby...) If you listen through the 1st chorus you have essentially heard the whole song. 7 Days a Week©2012 Rick Dieffenbach Monday.I really want Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted September 6, 2012 Members Share Posted September 6, 2012 This is awesome, Rick. The only thing that jumped out at me as needing help was the use of echo in the verses. It is great in the space after the day and at the end of the line. In the middle it seems to clutter things. You might want to automate that track so that it doesn't interfere with the lead as much and just supplements. I like the idea of having an abrupt ending, but I think you should go one more round with the heavy bass and end on that part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 6, 2012 Members Share Posted September 6, 2012 The tune is very catchy. LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted September 6, 2012 Members Share Posted September 6, 2012 The tune is very catchy. It really is...and I really like it. You have learned some tricks, I see. I agree with Justin, though, that these tricks work best when they are not center stage. Honestly, though, you have done some excellent things with your panning, delays and vocal EQ. As far as I am concerned, all of those things are a part of modern day songwriting. This is a great song. Love the ending as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Barry_Blink_a_lot Posted September 6, 2012 Members Share Posted September 6, 2012 Catchy, but a song like this really needs a sexy vocal. This vocal is not sexy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted September 7, 2012 Members Share Posted September 7, 2012 Catchy, but a song like this really needs a sexy vocal. This vocal is not sexy. I don't think you are pointing out anything Rick doesn't already know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 7, 2012 Members Share Posted September 7, 2012 Rick - I don't think the words 'seduce' and 'tranquil' belong with the tone of this song.Maybe something a bit more colloquial like, 'Hook you with my charms', 'Grab you with my charms', 'Ply you with my charms', 'Float you with my charms' etc..... And instead of 'Make me all tranquil', maybe something like, 'Calm this ol' animal' etc...... Otherwise I think the tune is appropriately bouncy and poppy and works with the theme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chriscarnucci Posted September 13, 2012 Members Share Posted September 13, 2012 Very cool. Reminds me of Putting On the Ritz. I really like the way it takes off on Wed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 13, 2012 Moderators Share Posted September 13, 2012 Holy CRAP! This is GREAT! I've been on an Ian Dury kick this week and this is right up my alley right now. Nice RICK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 13, 2012 Members Share Posted September 13, 2012 Clever, with lots of interesting arrangement choices, but also vaguely creepy. All the vocal overdubs and effects make it like that Schnitzler story where he serially keeps introducing new people into the seduction room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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