Members Oswlek Posted May 20, 2013 Members Share Posted May 20, 2013 EDIT: Demo - http://picosong.com/Fbp4 Updated Lyric: V1 There's no mystery Why we sometimes land on the ground As long as we're here We'll spin Like kids playing Rosey All fall down V2 Hands blistering You can pull yourself off the ground As long as we're here We'll spin Like kids playing Rosey All fall down Coda After all, we spin together Like kids playing Rosey we all fall down ----------------------------------------------------------- GOS = "Germ of Something". I figured it was time to make Ram's phrase a formal part of our vernacular. Or not. This one arrived yesterday on my brother's guitar. It is one of my usual leans-harder-on-the-melody-than-the-lyric-to-tell-the-story song. I intended on recording a demo, but the camera was on "E", so I figured we can start with just the lyric. As barren as it may be. The phrase "All fall down" was the first to appear, which made me think of Marshall's tune by the same name and how he poignantly uses nursery rhymes. I'm trying to do something similar here. As with most of my tunes, it arrived with a melancholy slant, but I decided to try turning it on its head and make it more positive, if not necessarily upbeat. The ultimate point I'm trying to get across is "sometimes we all get knocked on our ass, but we can still get up." V1 There's no mystery Why we sometimes land on the ground As long as we're here We'll spin Like kids playing Rosey (lifts like a PC) All fall down - (refrain) V2 Hands blistering - intentionally calling back to "mystery" You can pull yourself off the ground As long as we're here We'll spin Like kids playing Rosey All fall down Coda - new chord comes in to offer a more positive feel After all, we pray for silence Like kids playing Rosey we all fall down OK, the red line is just a placeholder. I'm not attached to any of it, though "after all" has a nice ring to it. I know the latter part means nothing and isn't strong enough. Melodically, that final coda just keeps going. The first line appears for two measures and then the second comes acting as a response to the "after all" line's call. So, anything worthwhile? Any ideas for what isn't? Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted May 20, 2013 Moderators Share Posted May 20, 2013 Personally, I think it's just about perfect with the exception of he line in red you want to work on. So what comes to my mind is the idea of a circle. The river of life is a circle, to use a Da Vinci's Demons lift (am I the only one that love's this show?). So, like "ring around the rosey", falling down is just part of getting up is just part of falling down is just part of getting up is just part of... Just throwwing something out there for ideas: After all, to swim is not to drownAnd kids playing Rosey... all fall downBefore and after and spinning aroundWe all fall down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted May 20, 2013 Members Share Posted May 20, 2013 Not sure if the history is apocryphal, but I always associate Ring Around The Rosie with bubonic plague. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted May 21, 2013 Moderators Share Posted May 21, 2013 Can't rewrite history Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted May 21, 2013 Moderators Share Posted May 21, 2013 But you can pull your self off the ground Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted May 21, 2013 Author Members Share Posted May 21, 2013 Lee Knight wrote: Can't rewrite history Que? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted May 21, 2013 Author Members Share Posted May 21, 2013 Lee Knight wrote: But you can pull your self off the ground Ahhh.... Now I get it. I like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.