Members theAntihero Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 Mojo appreciated.Ill be honest boys one of biggest concerns and saddest aspects is my dog.He's my best friend in the world and losing him on top of all this would {censored}ing ruin me. I can't think of many (if any)0 humans I've connected with like my dog. Its sad and I'm not sure what to do. Honestly if she wants out that's her choice, but my dog is just a victim.She's more aggressive than I and knows law and paperwork better than I could ever dream. Anyone know what my rights are at all? Seriously I know its a stupid thing to care about but I really couldn't sstand having him teken from me. She wants to take your dog from you? Jesus {censored}ing christ thats a low blow. Hopefully you didnt adopt him together? If not, maybe he "runs away" to a close friend? How sad you would be that thru all this emotional trauma your dog, your wonderful (insert name here) is missing and you have no idea where he could be (insert sniffles, weeping,bawling, random gunfire here) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Slunderfungus Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 Dude... I don't even know where to start. You've obviously been watching too many Reese Witherspoon flicks... Ok, though... in all seriousness... let me understand what you are saying. Tell me if I'm wrong. You are saying that in the current world human population of ~ 7 billion people, there is one, and only one, ideal mate for you? Is that what you are saying? Because that is what "soul mate" means...My contention is that there are millions of women out there that a given man could love and have a fantastic marriage/life with.Do you agree with me? Seriously.Steve This is what I think, and I am living it. 16 years with my wife and we are still freinds but the love is no longer there, we have btoth changed,been effected by certain life changing events. We are co-habitating until my SSD goes through for financial reasons. Splitting up doesn't have to be a bad thing either. If the two of you are mature enough to recognize whats happened and arewilling to stay close afterwards. we still have to finish raising two kids, and we see eye to eye on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neilrocks25 Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 Well dudes this has been an interesting thread. I'll be straight I'm finding all this experience and advice at the end (literally only a couple hours ago) of a 3 year relationship. (one I expected to end in death after marriage, not on a random wednesday night) I'm not gonna go into details but its nice to find my experience to not be a rarity. Feels a little better and keeps me optimistic for the future. Sometimes HCAF can be really helpful. I am shocked dude, I hope you get your head sorted out soon, I am on FB if you ever need to chat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neilrocks25 Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 Been married 19 yrs and have two beautiful daughters. We were a very strong 'christian' family. Church on sundays, I played on the worship team, she taught sunday school, etc, etc... 6 yrs ago she cheated. My girls were 6 and 9, I never have been hurt so bad! I stuck it out but it was doomed ever since that day I found out fast forward to today... I now live at my dads. Moved here a few weeks ago..again...after moving out a few months ago but went back home to try and make it work. Problem is now I met a woman at work and have fallen in love. I feel that 'happiness' that I craved for the past 6 yrs. It is still hard because I am going to lose my home, my kids, and half my income (which aint much) for the next 5 yrs. I am still second guessing myself though because I know my wife is truly sorry...problem is is that I cant find it in me to love her the way a husband needs to love his wife. She has kissed my ass for 6 yrs and it just wasnt enough. Once they cheat it flicks a switch to 'off' and there aint no turning it back 'on'. I wouldve never in a million years allowed myself to fall for another woman had my switch been 'on' anyways, anyone who thinks christian marriage last forever is full of crap. I am living proof mojo for me...because this is gonna be the first christmas without my kids. Sure I will see them, but I wont see them wake up all sleepy eyed to come out to the living room and open up presents I really feel for you, :internetHug: I wish you the best with the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JRBain Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 This is a great post. Very sincere and REAL. THANK YOU. This is REAL Christianity folks. Yep, agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lord ToneKing Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 I really feel for you, :internetHug: I wish you the best with the future.Thanks bro, I appreciate that...seriously Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members madryan Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 I really think there's a correlation between overly religious upbringing and the ability to completely blow off accountability. I didn't go into it but part of what precipitated my wife having her big epiphany with regards to her sexuality was a couple of years of counseling because she was making incredibly stupid choices with regards to her relationships with people outside our marriage. I won't go into specifics but it wasn't really an affair but it wasn't really not an affair if that makes any sense at all. Anyway... She initially passed everything off like she was the victim because she grew up in the uber religious household and was never taught to formulate her own morality. I initially thought it was bull{censored} but looking back I think there's some truth there. She, and a couple of her siblings, all have a similar blind spot in that if someone's not around to tell them it's wrong they just don't think to form an opinion on it. It's bizarre. Food for thought anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reddt1 Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 I really think there's a correlation between overly religious upbringing and the ability to completely blow off accountability. I didn't go into it but part of what precipitated my wife having her big epiphany with regards to her sexuality was a couple of years of counseling because she was making incredibly stupid choices with regards to her relationships with people outside our marriage. I won't go into specifics but it wasn't really an affair but it wasn't really not an affair if that makes any sense at all. Anyway... She initially passed everything off like she was the victim because she grew up in the uber religious household and was never taught to formulate her own morality. I initially thought it was bull{censored} but looking back I think there's some truth there. She, and a couple of her siblings, all have a similar blind spot in that if someone's not around to tell them it's wrong they just don't think to form an opinion on it. It's bizarre. Food for thought anyway... Whoa man, that's creepy ... my ex-wife was brought up in what I essentially feel was a cult. She was MESSED up, and waffled between love and hate with religion. So when she started banging a friend of mine after 10 years of marriage, maybe that's why ... she had zero moral compass without the cult.She also might just have been slutzors .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shadow.dancer_ Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 When women marry, they think they will be able to change the man. When a man marries, he thinks the woman won't ever change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mfergel Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 I'm of the belief that if the divorce system didn't favor the female there would be a lot less divorces. No evidence to support this but given that 80% of all divorces are initiated by women it's pretty safe to see that they do it most often because financially things are in their favor. They most often get the kids, they then get child support that most often is more than the actual cost to support that child. They most often receive spousal support even if they are in a situation that would allow them to work (either before or after the divorce). They most often get the house and most often the better part of those household items. What I don't get is that there are more male judges, more male lawyers. You'd think these guys (especially the ones that have been screwed over themselves 'cause you know they're out there) would be either leaning it towards the male or at least making it fair and equal. Personally, I think marriages are doomed to failure as long as society and the education system choose to ignore the problems. My whole life in school I'm expected to take history, social studies, etc. but not once am I required to take Intro to Marriage, Budgeting and Financial Responsibility 101, Basic Relationship studies, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ovid9 Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 Personally, I think marriages are doomed to failure as long as society and the education system choose to ignore the problems. My whole life in school I'm expected to take history, social studies, etc. but not once am I required to take Intro to Marriage, Budgeting and Financial Responsibility 101, Basic Relationship studies, etc. Well, ideally this would be the parents' job. But yeah, we all can see how well that's been working for everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mfergel Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 Well, ideally this would be the parents' job. But yeah, we all can see how well that's been working for everyone. With a 50% divorce rate most parents themselves are no longer qualified to offer that advice to their children unless the lesson is "Do as I say, not as I do." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JRBain Posted December 23, 2010 Members Share Posted December 23, 2010 My whole life in school I'm expected to take history, social studies, etc. but not once am I required to take Intro to Marriage, Budgeting and Financial Responsibility 101, Basic Relationship studies, etc. This is a very good point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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