The new Embarassing Moments Thread

[AizenX]

But I got away with it and was number 2 in my class

 

 

Fixed.

[Mind Riot]

I used to work in a restaurant doing dishes when I was a teenager, and I would carefully try to schedule things so I didn't have to use the toilet at work. I have a tendency to overwhelm normal plumbing, and have had to bolt a couple times after things started overflowing.

So when I knew I was going to be forced to use the toilet at work, I would try to set up a fictional patsy to take the blame for me. It's a busy restaurant, people in and out constantly. I'd pick up a dirty dish tray and say to one of the waitresses "Hey, did you see that guy who just came in and went straight for the bathroom? He must have been six foot eight, guy was huge!"

Few minutes later I'd steal away to the bathroom when no one was looking, and unfortunately this ended up being one of those packed together, hard as a rock BM. Sort of like crapping out the Thing from Fantastic Four, except with no face or distinguishing features, of course.

Thing starts over flowing, and I crack the door to see if everything's clear. I sneak out like the stealthy ninja that I am and immediately start looking busy as possible.

Soon someone notices the wave of toilet water slowly flooding the place, and I act as shocked as anyone. My unwitting accomplice, the waitress, pipes up that she (!) saw some really big guy go back to the bathroom several minutes before. She looks at me. "He saw him too!"

"Oh, yeah," I say, nodding. "I don't know how he got in here."

[Valtiel]

I used to work in a restaurant doing dishes when I was a teenager, and I would carefully try to schedule things so I didn't have to use the toilet at work. I have a tendency to overwhelm normal plumbing, and have had to bolt a couple times after things started overflowing. So when I knew I was going to be forced to use the toilet at work, I would try to set up a fictional patsy to take the blame for me. It's a busy restaurant, people in and out constantly. I'd pick up a dirty dish tray and say to one of the waitresses "Hey, did you see that guy who just came in and went straight for the bathroom? He must have been six foot eight, guy was huge!" Few minutes later I'd steal away to the bathroom when no one was looking, and unfortunately this ended up being one of those packed together, hard as a rock BM. Sort of like crapping out the Thing from Fantastic Four, except with no face or distinguishing features, of course. Thing starts over flowing, and I crack the door to see if everything's clear. I sneak out like the stealthy ninja that I am and immediately start looking busy as possible. Soon someone notices the wave of toilet water slowly flooding the place, and I act as shocked as anyone. My unwitting accomplice, the waitress, pipes up that she (!) saw some really big guy go back to the bathroom several minutes before. She looks at me. "He saw him too!" "Oh, yeah," I say, nodding. "I don't know how he got in here."

 

You are a gentleman and a scholar, well played sir.

[Ovid9]

I used to work in a restaurant doing dishes when I was a teenager, and I would carefully try to schedule things so I didn't have to use the toilet at work. I have a tendency to overwhelm normal plumbing, and have had to bolt a couple times after things started overflowing. So when I knew I was going to be forced to use the toilet at work, I would try to set up a fictional patsy to take the blame for me. It's a busy restaurant, people in and out constantly. I'd pick up a dirty dish tray and say to one of the waitresses "Hey, did you see that guy who just came in and went straight for the bathroom? He must have been six foot eight, guy was huge!" Few minutes later I'd steal away to the bathroom when no one was looking, and unfortunately this ended up being one of those packed together, hard as a rock BM. Sort of like crapping out the Thing from Fantastic Four, except with no face or distinguishing features, of course. Thing starts over flowing, and I crack the door to see if everything's clear. I sneak out like the stealthy ninja that I am and immediately start looking busy as possible. Soon someone notices the wave of toilet water slowly flooding the place, and I act as shocked as anyone. My unwitting accomplice, the waitress, pipes up that she (!) saw some really big guy go back to the bathroom several minutes before. She looks at me. "He saw him too!" "Oh, yeah," I say, nodding. "I don't know how he got in here."

 

Awesome.

 

Also, your avatar cracks me up every time I see it man.

[Mind Riot]

Awesome. Also, your avatar cracks me up every time I see it man.

 

Thank you, good sirs.

 

I forget about the avatar and don't really pay attention to it, then I'll occasionally notice it and it cracks me up all over again.

[boxcarmonument]

I'm taking a piss in a gas station and there's a dude in the next urinal. There is a divider. So we're both pissing and I finish first and being in a hurry, I sling my schlong really fast to get the pee off and ended up hitting the guys shirt next to me with piss. We just look at each other and didn't say a word. Somewhere in the distance, a dog howled...... Ok last sentence was a fabrication.

:lol:

One night after way to many Guinness and shot's of Jameson. I was feeling a little sick. So I went to throw up. And as I'm throwing up I feel a turtle head popping out. And it kept coming. So I'm throwing up and {censored}ting my pants all at the same time. And in my drunken stupor I go get in the shower with no soap no towel and no wash cloth. I end up walking through the yard naked and wet to my truck to go get some clean clothes.

I've never told anybody about this ever...

[gibson5413]

How is that embarrassing? You had to go, and you made it to the toilet. That's not a {censored}in' embarrassment. That's a close call. An embarrassment would have been if you'd {censored} all over your friend's car, and then gotten in some kind of fist-fight about it, in the car, and then got {censored} all over the both of you. Incidentally, if that happens, you walk to those Wal-Mart bathrooms holding hands. Because {censored}'em, couple of dudes, covered in {censored}, holding hands. Don't act like you ain't seen this before.

 

 

 

You mean like George Brett. Funniest story ever:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6hu4aLXv7U

[Bee_Gee]

 

 

 

haha , forgot he was mic'ed up??

thats a man right there.

[jnurp]

I used to work in a restaurant doing dishes when I was a teenager, and I would carefully try to schedule things so I didn't have to use the toilet at work. I have a tendency to overwhelm normal plumbing, and have had to bolt a couple times after things started overflowing. So when I knew I was going to be forced to use the toilet at work, I would try to set up a fictional patsy to take the blame for me. It's a busy restaurant, people in and out constantly. I'd pick up a dirty dish tray and say to one of the waitresses "Hey, did you see that guy who just came in and went straight for the bathroom? He must have been six foot eight, guy was huge!" Few minutes later I'd steal away to the bathroom when no one was looking, and unfortunately this ended up being one of those packed together, hard as a rock BM. Sort of like crapping out the Thing from Fantastic Four, except with no face or distinguishing features, of course. Thing starts over flowing, and I crack the door to see if everything's clear. I sneak out like the stealthy ninja that I am and immediately start looking busy as possible. Soon someone notices the wave of toilet water slowly flooding the place, and I act as shocked as anyone. My unwitting accomplice, the waitress, pipes up that she (!) saw some really big guy go back to the bathroom several minutes before. She looks at me. "He saw him too!" "Oh, yeah," I say, nodding. "I don't know how he got in here."

 

 

hahahaha thats {censored}ing grand!

[HELSTRUME]

Not about me but...Me and my friend were at this small club watching a band play. After it ended we begain to walk to his car. We parked like 5 blocks away, cause it was free. About half way, my friend was sweating, and grabed his stomach. We hit this dump of a restraunt, and my friend ran to the bathroom. He filled up two toilets, and didn't flush. The bathroom didn't even have a door on it, so the smell filled the place up. As we were walking out, everybody was asking for to go boxes, or just getting up and leaving.

[OceansBetweenUs]

When I was a junior in high school, I woke up one morning with two big swollen bug bites. One was on my left calf, and the other was on the side of my left ass cheek. Aft a day or two, I realized they had to be spider bites of some sort as the pain increased and they became infected (common w/ spider bites, apparently).

So over a period of 3-5 days, these wounds continued to get bigger and bigger as the venom ran its course. The one on my leg pussed up and was gross, but the less severe of the two. The one on my ass kept me from sitting down normally, and finally I got so fed up with the pain I decided to drain the puss, go to the doctor, and get some antibiotics.

So I'm standing in my bathroom, underwear around my ankles half bent over squeezing my giant ass lesion trying to make it pop. Gross amounts of white goop fly out all over the place. A few days later I get my antibiotics and things are starting to get better, but it still needs to be drained on the daily.

That weekend I go to a friends soccer game; it's been raining. I take a short run to kick a ball as they're warming up, and as I wind up I slip on the wet grass, and fall right on my ass. I stand up and wipe the dirt off the back of my pants. I look at my hand and its covered in red/brown blood. I fell on my ass, causing my ass-wound to explode with all the puss/blood/liquid that was in it right onto my jeans. Needless to say, I went home before the game started.

[NixerX]

Ass blood is bad!