Why don't I believe it when people tell me that I'm good?

[Retrodude80s]

I know I am my toughest own critic. As players, we do recognize all the mistakes we make, but yet we rarely get called out on it by the audience. And when other musicians compliment you (those who you feel are better than you), maybe you start to have more confidence. (Although it doesn't help that I listen to Michael Hedges and Andy McKee all the time either...lol).

 

Maybe one day I will play that "clean' set and be happy.

[~GOD~]

try not to think about it too much. you're still going to sound like you, regardless of your or anyone's opinion of it. no point in dwelling on something you can't affect.

[Queequeg]

A couple of things come to mind.

No one listens as carefully to your performance or recordings as you do. So you will be more critical than they are. You will hear the clam that they didn't catch.

Also, I view compliments as simply encouragement; encouragement to keep trying, to keep practicing. "Keep going." "You're getting better." "You can do it." And not really so much as "that was a great performance!" (I don't ever anticipate that, at least not for myself.)

And always graciously accept any compliment. Never argue with them about it. Simply say "thanks" or "thanks for listening".

[Opa John]

 

I get a few compliments a week on my playing, some of those from other musicians. I get the feeling that that is more than most people get. I think I'm an okay player, but not that good of one. I know a part of why I get compliments is because of differentiation. Most guitarists in my dorm are electric players, and they tend to riff or play solos. By itself, electric guitar usually sounds like the rest of the band hasn't shown up yet. I'm the only acoustic fingerstyle player in the building, and I have a penchant for playing fingerstyle arrangements of popular songs most people already know. Am I just too hard on myself?

 

 

I'm really surprised that nobody has mentioned this yet. Darkhorse, you don't believe them because you KNOW, in your heart, that they're all WRONG AND LIARS!!

[Opa John]

 

John, I've checked the Ducks schedule and it doesn't look like they're going to meet anytime soon, at least thru 2012. We can hope for a bowl clash though. I think it would be one scorcher of a game (sorry for hi-jacking your thread, DarkHorse). Go Bucks, Go Ducks!!! Now, back to self-confidence.

 

 

Yep. A bowl game is kinda what I had in mind. I'm sure it would put some butts in the seats! I haven't even looked at the Buckeyes' schedule this year. I just take it one week at a time, the same way they do it. They sure looked good to me in their first two games. Hope they can keep it up. Problem is, the Buckeyes don't kick it into gear until they're 10 points behind.

 

There's a saying here in Buckeye country. "We've got 'em right where we want 'em. Ten points ahead!"

 

Now, back to our regularly scheduled broadcast. Sorry, Darkhorse.

[gull12]

John:

 

I have always been a closet Buckeyes fan. Born in Dayton and lived in Waynesville until I was 13. SSShhhhhhh, I don't want anyone here in Oregon to Know it. Now, hhhheeeeeeerrrreeeeee's DarkHorse and more about confidence. :lol: :lol:

[Opa John]

John: I have always been a closet Buckeyes fan. Born in Dayton and lived in Waynesville until I was 13. SSShhhhhhh, I don't want anyone here in Oregon to Know it. Now, hhhheeeeeeerrrreeeeee's DarkHorse and more about confidence. :lol: :lol:

 

Wow! So you're a transplanted Buckeye.....it's a small world. I used to get over to Dayton on a regular basis. The company I worked for maintained the telecom system at National Case Register. And Waynesville is one of my wife's favorite little towns. She's German and loves that big German restaurant on the north end of town....right on Rte. 42. She also likes all of the antique stores up and down the main drag.

 

And now, without further ado, back to our show.

[gull12]

John:

 

National Cash Register used to be based in Centerville, about six miles up route 48 from where I lived, but remember, I was 13 when we left Ohio.

And now, without further adieu, let there be confidence.

[Queequeg]

Wow! So you're a transplanted Buckeye.....it's a small world. I used to get over to Dayton on a regular basis. The company I worked for maintained the telecom system at National Case Register. And Waynesville is one of my wife's favorite little towns. She's German and loves that big German restaurant on the north end of town....right on Rte. 42. She also likes all of the antique stores up and down the main drag.

another transplanted Ohio boy here.

Cleveland area for a long time & a little farm town outside of Toledo from 1976 to 1983.

[Opa John]

another transplanted Ohio boy here. Cleveland area for a long time & a little farm town outside of Toledo from 1976 to 1983.

 

Ya know, Q, I've noticed that there are a LOT of members on this forum from Ohio. This could be significant. Probably says something about how exciting it is to live here in Ohio. Nothing to do but waste time on the H.C.A.G. forum. I guess it beats going down to the river and sluggin' rats, though.

[fastblueheeler]

Ya know, Q, I've noticed that there are a LOT of members on this forum from Ohio. This could be significant. Probably says something about how exciting it is to live here in Ohio. Nothing to do but waste time on the H.C.A.G. forum. I guess it beats going down to the river and sluggin' rats, though.

 

Hey, I spent a lot of my youth down by the river sluggin' rats. Very popular pastime back in East St. Louis in the early 60's.

[sixgunner455]

What is "sluggin' rats"?

[blue2blue]

 

This subject is something that I have fought for years. It's due to the fact that on many websites, people give accolades to performers who, IMHO, clearly suck. This site is not one of those. But others I go to, it's maddening. It makes you question your own ability. Usually, these are songwriting sites but I have seen many times where someone plays a cover and to me, there just isn't much anything good going on and people will ooh and aah over it. You can also reverse it. The American Idol (contestants) syndrome is real. Many people have no clue what good music sounds like. They think they are awesome and nobody with any fraction of musicianship will think so.

I've noticed this, too.

 

It can be tough to gauge precisely what kind of feedback is appropriate in a given circumstance, though.

 

Sometimes you're dealing with a seasoned pro who probably needs to have full, frank, no-holds-barred feedback and sometimes you're dealing with a fragile flower who has just written his/her first song and a couple of ill-chosen words might just convince them that writing is beyond them, when, in reality, it is something that is actually well within their grasp if they only put in a lot of work. And the same is true, of course, with players, not just songwriters.

[fastblueheeler]

What is "sluggin' rats"?

 

Bored teens with baseball bats and beer go to the dump and club rats. There are more humane methods of rat control but that's not the point.

[baldbloke]

[quote=DarkHorseJ27;40872361

Am I just too hard on myself?

 

Possibly. I find it difficult to accept compliments when it comes to guitar. No problem accepting compliments in other fields. Guitar is so subjective, it's impossible to see ourselves as others see us (poem anyone?).

 

Non players- they usually will compliment a nice tune regardless of complexity and difficulty. But, like most folks, I can't help wonder if they are just being polite.

 

I have decided that I will consider myself an acceptable player when folks who have heard me before will ask me to play a tune. It ain't happened yet.

[sixgunner455]

Bored teens with baseball bats and beer go to the dump and club rats. There are more humane methods of rat control but that's not the point.

 

goodness. We just used to use a .22 rifle.

[Opa John]

Hey, I spent a lot of my youth down by the river sluggin' rats. Very popular pastime back in East St. Louis in the early 60's.

 

I doubt that you got 'em all, fbh. There's probably still a lot of rats left in East St. Louis. I just can't believe you left all that behind and moved to Texas!

[Queequeg]

Mercy. If the rats can't hang out at the dump, where, oh where can they go?

[Tartanlad]

Possibly. I find it difficult to accept compliments when it comes to guitar. No problem accepting compliments in other fields. Guitar is so subjective, it's impossible to see ourselves as others see us (poem anyone?). Non players- they usually will compliment a nice tune regardless of complexity and difficulty. But, like most folks, I can't help wonder if they are just being polite. I have decided that I will consider myself an acceptable player when folks who have heard me before will ask me to play a tune. It ain't happened yet.

 

Baldbloke ..The thing here in Scotland is if they say for instance

 

yer sounding gd then a know they are taking the p@sh

 

Its just a Scottish thing a reckon which isnt nice a know but theyre ye go

 

If they dont say anything to me then id know im pretty gd

[Dave Keir]

 

Why don't I believe it when people tell me that I'm good?

 

Maybe because you have aspirations above your current ability. A good sign. But it doesn't stop you taking the compliments at face value and using to build confidence. Good players are always unsatisfied.

[Tartanlad]

Dave Keir,

 

Quite interesting regarding the Celtic music as its usually known here

also

 

As fir the word teuchter..ye ave been told such often am a teuchter lol

 

Interesting likes..

[Dave Keir]

Dave Keir, Quite interesting regarding the Celtic music as its usually known here also As fir the word teuchter..ye ave been told such often am a teuchter lol Interesting likes..

Heh..heh! An' where hails ye fae?

[Tartanlad]

Heh..heh! An' where hails ye fae?

 

Went to P/Mge ye Dave but wouldnt allow somehow

 

Anyhow not to worry ..am fae Fife..and a see your fae Aberdeenshire..

[phil_harmonic]

We're programmed that way. There is something in most human beings that causes them to think negatively toward themselves; thinking that they're not good-looking or that they don't play that well, or that they weigh too much, etc. It's a learned response because children don't have it....yet. It's the same learned response that enables children to solve Rubik's Cube with no problem; while adults will sit there with it all day, accomplishing nothing. Children are able to do this because they, very simply, don't tell themselves that they can't. They don't program themselves with negativity. They don't approach it saying to themselves, "Oh, I can't do that." They just do it. Everyone in the world is actually three people: a) I am who I think I am. b) I am who other people think I am. c) And then, there's me! We should really stop putting ourselves down, stop telling ourselves that we're not that good, and start receiving compliments as they are intended........as compliments.

 

[phil_harmonic]

another transplanted Ohio boy here. Cleveland area for a long time & a little farm town outside of Toledo from 1976 to 1983.

 

Me too but my family moved from Cinci to So Cal when I was 4... a looong time ago