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  • Argh...annoyed!!

    OK this is a rare rant from me...



    My cousin keeps PESTERING me for help, gig hook ups, a list of places we're playing at and trying to get in to, etc. It's so damn annoying!!!



    How do I tell him to get off his lazy ass and get his own band their own opportunities and stop trying to piggy back off of all of our hard work?



    I've had other bands (non relatives ) ask me for advice but they've always been more subtle with it. This guy just keeps blatantly trying to use us to get gigs and it's irritating!!



    Rant over.



    Christian

    SpaceCat
    www.spacecatband.com

    "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." - Jimi Hendrix







    Originally Posted by wheresgrant3


    Our singer is basically butchering the Grade A material into deli meat, but don't fear... the crowd is there for big sandwiches.

  • #2
    Disown him?



    Seriously, though, tell him that. Advice is one thing, but contacts, pay rate, etc is no one's business but your own.



    I've got a local musician friend who's a nice guy, but he always immediately asks who you work with, how much you make, what's your draw like there... it becomes very inpersonable.
    Music, music, I hear music
    Fitch Drums - The Blog for the Aspiring Non-Professional Drummer

    Comment


    • #3






      Quote Originally Posted by FitchFY
      View Post

      it becomes very inpersonable.




      Right!



      They basically just look at our calendar to try to find places to play. They pick our songlist and try to copy it. They've piggy backed almost every one of their gigs off of our calendar.



      I don't want to act like I'm 'afraid' of losing out because of them or anything, because I believe we're significantly better than they are. But it's just annoying to watch the poaching happen...and the fact of the matter is there are only so many dates to go around and there competition is fierce...especially in the higher echelon clubs.
      Christian

      SpaceCat
      www.spacecatband.com

      "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." - Jimi Hendrix







      Originally Posted by wheresgrant3


      Our singer is basically butchering the Grade A material into deli meat, but don't fear... the crowd is there for big sandwiches.

      Comment


      • #4
        They idolize you! haha Boy that's a tough one never been through this. Is blood thicker than water? Have to answer that question yourself I guess.

        Comment


        • #5
          I would tell him to lay off a bit. Let him know you can point him in the right direction, but he's on his own when trying to book the clubs.



          For what it's worth, I routinely check every other steadily gigging local band's website to see where they are playing... and I try to make sure that every club that books live music at least knows what my band does! I've been a bit slack lately (my mom passed earlier this year, and it slowed my drive a bit)... but I plan on hitting things hard between now and the end of the year.



          Still... booking a band on a consistent basis is as much research as it is meetings, phone calls, and... oh yeah, playing music.... maybe you should direct him to some good places to start his research!

          Comment


          • #6






            Quote Originally Posted by Blackbird 13
            View Post

            I would tell him to lay off a bit. Let him know you can point him in the right direction, but he's on his own when trying to book the clubs.



            For what it's worth, I routinely check every other steadily gigging local band's website to see where they are playing... and I try to make sure that every club that books live music at least knows what my band does! I've been a bit slack lately (my mom passed earlier this year, and it slowed my drive a bit)... but I plan on hitting things hard between now and the end of the year.



            Still... booking a band on a consistent basis is as much research as it is meetings, phone calls, and... oh yeah, playing music.... maybe you should direct him to some good places to start his research!




            THIS.



            I have helped people in the past, if the band was good enough and they were nice people I'll give them a contact name but i don't discuss cash.



            BTW (and I don't want to derail but-) my condolences, sorry for your loss. losing a parent sucks everything out of you. Playing music helps though... it helped me.
            www.ostrichhat.com

            Comment


            • #7






              Quote Originally Posted by jeff42
              View Post

              BTW (and I don't want to derail but-) my condolences, sorry for your loss. losing a parent sucks everything out of you. Playing music helps though... it helped me.




              Thanks man. I'm 29 (was 28.. my mom passed on March 30th, 5 days before my 29th birthday)... and while she'd had health problems, it was kinda sudden. I've always been driven with my music.. but a large part of that has been because my parents were behind me. With my mom passing, and my dad and I's relationship becoming a bit strained, it just stifled some of that spark. It's coming back now, slowly but surely, which is good, because I've got gigs to book and bills to pay!

              Comment


              • #8






                Quote Originally Posted by guitarguy19
                View Post

                OK this is a rare rant from me...



                My cousin keeps PESTERING me for help, gig hook ups, a list of places we're playing at and trying to get in to, etc. It's so damn annoying!!!



                How do I tell him to get off his lazy ass and get his own band their own opportunities and stop trying to piggy back off of all of our hard work?



                I've had other bands (non relatives ) ask me for advice but they've always been more subtle with it. This guy just keeps blatantly trying to use us to get gigs and it's irritating!!



                Rant over.







                I'd be honest with him and tell him you're concerned he's going to steal your gigs. That's what it is really. And you should be scared. It doesn't matter if you're the better band. Apple was the better computer once upon a time and as Bill Gates said to Jobs, "It doesn't matter, Steve. They don't care." Your cousin is a very real threat to your gigging. I'd compliment him and tell you can't help him any more. "You guys are too good and are official competition to us." With a smile and hug.
                __________
                Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
                Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
                Jesus

                Comment


                • #9






                  Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight
                  View Post

                  I'd be honest with him and tell him you're concerned he's going to steal your gigs. That's what it is really. And you should be scared. It doesn't matter if you're the better band. Apple was the better computer once upon a time and as Bill Gates said to Jobs, "It doesn't matter, Steve. They don't care." Your cousin is a very real threat to your gigging. I'd compliment him and tell you can't help him any more. "You guys are too good and are official competition to us." With a smile and hug.




                  I think you forgot to use the sarcasm emoticon!



                  I don't know if you're serious or not, but I wouldn't say any of that stuff to a cousin who was trying to get gigs where I played.

                  Comment


                  • #10






                    Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight
                    View Post

                    I'd be honest with him and tell him you're concerned he's going to steal your gigs. That's what it is really. And you should be scared. It doesn't matter if you're the better band. Apple was the better computer once upon a time and as Bill Gates said to Jobs, "It doesn't matter, Steve. They don't care." Your cousin is a very real threat to your gigging. I'd compliment him and tell you can't help him any more. "You guys are too good and are official competition to us." With a smile and hug.




                    Not only stealing your gigs he's probably using you as a reference with or without your permission? If that bands sucks that association of suckiness is going to reflect on your band or "brand" so to speak.

                    Comment


                    • #11






                      Quote Originally Posted by New Trail
                      View Post

                      I think you forgot to use the sarcasm emoticon!



                      I don't know if you're serious or not, but I wouldn't say any of that stuff to a cousin who was trying to get gigs where I played.




                      I'm not being sarcastic. Maybe I'm missing something. I'd tell him I can't help him.
                      __________
                      Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
                      Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
                      Jesus

                      Comment


                      • #12






                        Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight
                        View Post

                        I'm not being sarcastic. Maybe I'm missing something. I'd tell him I can't help him.




                        I've found "No" and its variants to be very useful words. ESPECIALLY with family members, some of whom just assume you'll do anything they ask. Reasons are entirely optional.

                        Comment


                        • #13






                          Quote Originally Posted by rangefinder
                          View Post

                          I've found "No" and its variants to be very useful words. ESPECIALLY with family members, some of whom just assume you'll do anything they ask. Reasons are entirely optional.




                          Exactly. But, I have no issue with being kind when I'm saying no. As a matter of fact, the compliment approach would work very well I think. "You guys are too good, you're going to steal our gigs, I can't help you man!"
                          __________
                          Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
                          Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
                          Jesus

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Yeah, if you're gonna poach gigs or even piggyback with songs, approach -whatever....why would you expect other bands to help you do this? That's what I'd tell him. It's like: c'mon dude, I see what you're doing. Get your own god damned gigs.
                            Kickin' it in the sticks...

                            Comment


                            • #15






                              Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight
                              View Post

                              Exactly. But, I have no issue with being kind when I'm saying no. As a matter of fact, the compliment approach would work very well I think. "You guys are too good, you're going to steal our gigs, I can't help you man!"




                              Very, very solid advice coming from Lee here!



                              After all, this dude is still family. And you can internet tough guy it out and say any number of things, but how's that help in the real world? Take Lee's approach. It compliments him (sincerely - his band IS a threat, especially if they provide similar stuff as you and for less $$$) and at the same time gets him off your back. Win/win.



                              Don't forget that hug! `Tis the season.
                              Music, music, I hear music
                              Fitch Drums - The Blog for the Aspiring Non-Professional Drummer

                              Comment



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