Members bee3 Posted October 31, 2011 Members Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hi folks... I've done a little bit of work. I haven't touched the lyrics... and don't think I will actually. But I did add some Rhodes and a little bit of B3. Interested on your thoughts on these... I also re-recorded some of the background vocals and tried adjusting some aspects of the bass without actually re-recording it. Just tried to make it a little more present. Would appreciate your thoughts. http://soundcloud.com/justind/coffee-ruff6 Coffee Coffee, in the morningMakes everything feel all rightBefore a long dayMorning is my favorite time If you wake upWith the sunrise and join meWe can spend the morningIf the music is just right Turn the music up... I think this one will bring us togetherTurn the music up... This is our favorite songDo you want to get downAnd make love in the light of the windowWe can sip our coffee without making a sound My love, does her crosswordsWhat she doesShe only uses words that she lovesShe only uses proper nouns When she wakes upWith the sunrise and joins meWe can sip our coffeeAnd think of all the different words... for love Turn the music up... I think this one will bring us togetherTurn the music up... This is our favorite songDo you want to get downAnd make love in the light of the windowWe can sip our coffee without making a sound We can sip our coffee without making a sound Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted October 31, 2011 Members Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hi folks... I've done a little bit of work. I haven't touched the lyrics... and don't think I will actually. The link isn't working. I'd love to hear it... LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Members Share Posted October 31, 2011 The link isn't working. I'd love to hear it...LCK Strange. I just tested it in on another computer and it works fine??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 31, 2011 Moderators Share Posted October 31, 2011 I can't get it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Members Share Posted October 31, 2011 OK... try now. http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11179806 And if that fails, try here: http://soundcloud.com/justind/coffee-ruff6 Then let me know which one worked. Sheesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted October 31, 2011 Members Share Posted October 31, 2011 It's lovely, very Lennonesque in a way, but still its own style. I guess we have to coin a new term: Justinesque. I think two small changes still need to made to the lyric. One is for clarity, the other for prosody. Turn the music up... I think this one will bring us togetherTurn the music up... This is our favorite songDo you want to get downAnd make love in the light of the window, thenWe can sip our coffee without making a sound My girl, does her crosswordsWhat she doesShe only uses words that she lovesShe only uses proper nouns. Inserting that "then" before they start sipping their coffee removes the problem of listeners thinking they're drinking coffee while they're actually in the act of making love. (The word "then" would be sung as a pick-up beat just prior to the start of the last measure.) As for changing "My love" to "My girl," it's a subtle thing, having to do with the natural way both phrases sound when spoken. Generally speaking, the first phrase puts the accent on the second word -- my love -- while the second sounds more natural with the melody you've got -- my girl. Examples: "Talk to me, my love." or "She was my love." Not "Talk to me, my love." or "She was my love." Do you see what I mean? These are tiny changes, very subtle, but I think they'd make a big difference. LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 31, 2011 Moderators Share Posted October 31, 2011 The keys are perfect. The 2nd link out of the two above worked. It sounds like you added a low vocal? Am i hearing that right? I'm digging whatever you did. It's sounding really nice... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted October 31, 2011 Members Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hey man Im not sure i commented on your other version even though i did listen and really dig it Im thinking this organ is a great addition, subtle but thats all it needs One thing that "may" need addressing if youre thinking of doing anything with these tracks is some slight timing issues.... did you program the beat and then play over it? Just a few bits where its a bit off... no biggie though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Members Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hey manIm not sure i commented on your other version even though i did listen and really dig itIm thinking this organ is a great addition, subtle but thats all it needsOne thing that "may" need addressing if youre thinking of doing anything with these tracks is some slight timing issues.... did you program the beat and then play over it? Just a few bits where its a bit off... no biggie though I did play to the drum track... interested where you hear it? Maybe I'm desensitized... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted October 31, 2011 Members Share Posted October 31, 2011 hmmmm most of the intro feels like youre slightly ahead of it? Is it just me? ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Members Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'll give it a good critical listen and see what I come up with... otherwise, consider it jazz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted October 31, 2011 Members Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'll give it a good critical listen and see what I come up with... otherwise, consider it jazz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted November 1, 2011 Members Share Posted November 1, 2011 Lovely. REALLY enjoyed listening to this song. Reminds me, in subject only of "Our House", Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young First para resonates with me. The only suggestion I have, is that although the harmonies are quite nice, they are absolutely consistent across the song. I would suggest you think about adding a 3rd part to the harmony in the important chorus piece, or, removing the harmony at the start (or in other selected places) so the listener can be excited when it kicks in. But that small comment aide, I really like this song, and I especially like the story and emotion it evokes in me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted November 1, 2011 Author Members Share Posted November 1, 2011 One is for clarity, the other for prosody. LCK Hey LCK, absolutely agree on the 'then' suggestion. In fact, I think I may have suggested that myself a while back and forgot to do it! Regarding the 'girl' vs 'love'... I agree about when spoken, it makes sense. But I've tried it... and there is something about the way 'love' flows with the next line 'what she does' that works better for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted November 1, 2011 Author Members Share Posted November 1, 2011 hmmmm most of the intro feels like youre slightly ahead of it?Is it just me? ha! I believe you're right. I think it's either the acoustic guitars or the bass, or both... or the shaker. Which is actually everything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted November 1, 2011 Author Members Share Posted November 1, 2011 Lovely. REALLY enjoyed listening to this song. Reminds me, in subject only of "Our House", Crosby, Stills, Nash and YoungFirst para resonates with me.The only suggestion I have, is that although the harmonies are quite nice, they are absolutely consistent across the song. I would suggest you think about adding a 3rd part to the harmony in the important chorus piece, or, removing the harmony at the start (or in other selected places) so the listener can be excited when it kicks in.But that small comment aide, I really like this song, and I especially like the story and emotion it evokes in me. The harmony comment is absolutely true. I'll give it a try and see how it sounds without the higher harmony in the verses. I'm a bit of a harmony junkie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted November 1, 2011 Members Share Posted November 1, 2011 I believe you're right. I think it's either the acoustic guitars or the bass, or both... or the shaker. Which is actually everything! I think the snare is dragging a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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