I'm On Fire

Wow...once again Lenny emerges blinking from the dark recesses of the studio to realize that there are a ton of things to catch up with here. I will.....promise.

I'm posting this one as a thread because I took a number of risks during the writing of it.....instrumental and production related risks that either contributed to the writing of the song or.......did not. I'd like to hear how it comes across so far.

I ALWAYS do.

But this time while I was tracking the very first exploratory acoustic guitar track...just really feeling the song out with the studio window open.....a fire truck went by right as I was going in to the last chorus. Up to that point I had no idea what the song was going to be about.

So I had to keep that take and write the song around it. You can really tell that the cadence of the song is all over the place.....lots of slicing and dicing to try to compensate.

As far as instrumental risks.......sigh......you'll see.

I'm On Fire

You woke me, baby, in the middle of the night

I felt your love like a white hot light

Whatever you were doing it sure felt right

I broke a sweat and my head felt tight

I sat up on the bed and reached for the light

I saw your picture on the night stand

And I knew

That you were still gone

And I was wired

The night would be long

And I was not tired

And someone else was feeling your desire

Now I'm on fire

I'm on fire

I'm on fire

I'm on fire

I'm on fire

Instrumental

You spoke to me in the middle of the night

But it was so unclear and it didn't feel right

I felt pain and I felt your fright

And I thought I heard you crying

It kind of got me reeling

When I felt a token touch of your real live joy

It was a broken kind of feeling

'Cause I knew

That you were still gone

And I was wired

The night would be long

And I was not tired

And someone else was feeling your desire

Now I'm on fire

I'm on fire

I'm on fire

I'm on fire

I'm on fire

Now you have moved on

And you are still gone

You have moved on

And someone else is feeling your desire (Fire Truck Cometh)

Now I'm on fire

I love your adventurous spirit!

Got to have a little fun once in a while, right?

Loving the lyrics. Music, maestro.

Nice stuff. The horns are a nice touch, especially when it interacts with the guitar.

Ditto to the horns on the chorus being a great touch.

The vocal melody reminds me of something, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Unless it comes out that it is a rip off of another song, I alway take that as a good sign. The lyrics are sound. Maybe swap 'right' in the second verse for sight.

It grooves pretty hard as is, even with the tempo variations, maybe even because of...

The electric guitar could stand to be reeled in a bit. At times it felt like it was at the forefront instead of your voice. That's more of a question of mix and I'm not really the one to consult for that sort of stuff.

I disagree. (Uh-oh!)

I love the feel of the song, I love the storyline, but I don't love the rhyminess.

It would be one thing if you were using rhymes that hadn't been used a million times, and started piling them up in a more clever fashion. That MIGHT work (it might not). But I think for this song you might want to vary the rhyme scheme a little.

Plus you've used the fire theme several times recently. There are other elements to write about!

This isn't meant for commercial use, it's just an example OTTOMH (off the top of my head).

You woke me, baby, in the middle of the night

I felt your love and it sure burned bright

I broke a sweat and lit up a smoke

Whatever you were doing, man, was just no joke

I saw your picture on the night stand, hon,

I reached for the phone and dialed 911.

Help me! I'm on fire!

Just an idea...

LCK

Oh, and I love the horns...

LCK

FWIW, I though this before, but was a little too timid to say so after being taken out back behind the woodshed by Max.

Great song man, I love your instrumental abilities. I second every compliment you've received about the horns. I love the "I'm on fire" theme, I feel like it's a nice emotion that fits the feel of the song. Could the lyrics be improved? I don't know, but there are a few times I lose track of what you're saying and it seems like the rhyme scheme falls off a bit at points. I think Oswlek and LCK gave pretty great input as far as this is concerned.

If it's not too much to ask, I was wondering what the main chord progression you're using is? I'm not going to rip it off or use it in a song (and even if I did it would sound completely different!) but, it's really cool and I think it'd make a great jam with some buddies of mine.

I don't feel quite as strongly about the rhyminess, but I do think you missed a good spot to shift the rhyme scheme in the first verse. The first three rhyming lines sound great, but then you pause slightly and pick up the same scheme again with the fourth and fifth lines. If it were me, I'd do something different with those two.

I do think the story line is good, and the twist in the first verse is quite clever.

I like the horns also. Sort of reminiscent of "Ring of Fire." Not sure if that was intentional or not, but it works either way.

Mark Knopfler. I finally realized who it is you remind me of...

Nice song. I'd love to hear it worked up with a full band... drums, real horns, etc...

Thanks folks.....

Yeah those lyrics mostly just fell out during production and I see the problems as outline by LCK......no woodshed beatings from Lenny.

Definitely relieved that the horns were not overdone.

Oh...and the chords....some sort of variation on D - F - C. Mostly.

I think a slight re-write and one more vocal take will be in order.

Mark Knopfler. I finally realized who it is you remind me of... Nice song. I'd love to hear it worked up with a full band... drums, real horns, etc...

Big +1

I already thought about trying to do it with my band.

It would be nice to hear you use some other metaphors: barbecue pit, heat wave, sizzling, red-hot coals, frying pan, molten steel, blast furnace, volcanic ash, caramelized meat, torched, arsonist, steam engine, matches, kindling, and on and on.

Again, JOTTOMH:

I'm a hog in a barbecue pit,

doing fine till the coals were lit.

It just seems to me we've already heard, "I'm on fire..." enough times, in enough songs, by enough artists, to be through with it, especially as the primary metaphor for sexual desire.

LCK

I think the song is great. I like the insistent rhyme and the way you break from it at key moments. Personally, I like what you've done. I would, however, nix the horn in the instrumental section but leave it as is everywhere else. I'd put in a distorted guitar solo in its place. The horns are great, the solo, no so much for my taste. A midi horn solo is not my idea of a good time . But you got guitar chops begging to be put to use!

Meet a drummer quick! This song is crying for DRUMS. I hear your drums and they're cool but not enough to kick this song where it needs to be kicked. Or try Drums on Demand. http://www.drumsondemand.com/drumtracks

But back on course here, sorry, I like the song a lot.

The horns are great, the solo, no so much for my taste. A midi horn solo is not my idea of a good time

I agree with this as well. While that trumpet solo seemed to fit in with the spirit of the horns generally, it does sound....somewhat less than authentic. In fact I am amazed that the abuse light did not come right on for the entire horn arrangement.

I appreciate the kind words about my pseudo-guitar abilities and I just took delivery on a new compressor pedal that is....unbelievable. So.........Lenny just might have to torch up that solo.

I love it.

(and feel free to track without a click whenever the spirit moves you )

I agree that this track is pining for some authentic drums, but the midi-horns don't really bother me. Despite the sound, the idea is clear as day. The perc doesn't sound like that though, it sounds like a real drummer would do something completely different.

God......I hope so!!!

Wow I really like the concept and feel of this one. Great job! This is unusual in a great way.

Like the others, I think it could use a few different words and maybe change the "I'm on Fire" to something less used. The song is so unusual itself, it deserves more unusual word. I would also prefer if the chorus soared a bit more.

You were trying to force a few of the words in and got off melody. Check your phrasing in a few places. This is my biggest problem writing songs. For example,

That you were still gone

And I was wired

The night would be long

And I was not tired

And someone else was feeling your desire

If you simply changed the one line to "And I wasn't tired" you would be on beat and it wouldn't sound so forced.

Again, I think this is a Really good song idea.

I know exactly what you mean and I agree. Funny thing is, I am generally a writer of few words but every so often I get the urge to spew like this.

I'll definitely streamline the delivery by doing a little lyrical pruning and I think that will help me get a more concise performance for the final cut.

Thanks for checking it out and I'm glad you like it.

Spent some more time listening to this song. I really like it. This is one that I would produce professionally and try to sell. What instrument did you use to write this song?

How about instead of "I'm on Fire" for the chorus you use one of these two:

Your Loves Liar

I guess love expires

Your Loves Liar

Someone I used to admire

OR

Your Loves Liar

Set me on Loves Pyer

Your Loves Liar

You left me on Fire

I would never consciously title a song with the same title as a big hit song or use the same lyrical hook. I know it's okay to do, but I would never intentionally do it. I also could never fully appreciate any song that has the same title as a hit song from another artist, unless the song was compeltely different from the hit - not even in the same ballpark. Though musically quite different, I must admit that I do find the theme here to have similarities with theme of Springsteen's hit of the same title. For that reason and that reason alone, I cannot fully appreciate this song. But, as I said, that's me.

I'll be damned...Springsteen, eh?

Guess I should get out of this studio more often and listen to some real music every once in a while.

Anyway...I took the weekend off from this song. Had to travel. Just got back and gave it s fresh listen and I kind of like it. I have the vocal mic and a couple of amps warming up right now, so we'll see what happens.

So far I'm feeling pretty well married to the title and the story line but I'm seeing some places to steamline and tighten for sure.

While I really like these ideas....I'm hesitant to introduce new ideas into the story line without being able to develop then properly.