I Wrote A Song - lyrics only

Reading post this morning. Decided I had never written a song about writing a song.

So I wrote this in about 15 minutes. It probably shows. Anyway.....

I Wrote A Song

v

There are things that I need to say

That I think you need to hear

And they won

GREAT, Jack. I really love it.

Very nicely done.

LCK

Verse 3 doesn't say anything and verse 2 isn't much better. The whole thing sounds like it was reverse engineered from a rhyming dictionary.

Some ideas:

V

There are things that I need to say

There are things that you should hear

Stay with me, don't go away

Don't let our love just disappear

Or dissipate, to the air escape

Slipped inside the cracks in time

Of daily tasks or social masks

Or the pettiness of yours and mine

v

If we were different people

If these were different lives

I would caress your ear with words

And we'd live so happily afterwards

In a cottage by the sea

But here and now when I try to speak

All I do is scream and yell

I'm vicious, angry, hurtful and weak

My good intentions; straight to hell

c

And so

Geez Ram, nice - but write your own song. It completely goes against the feeling I was chasing. The whole idea was that this guy CANNOT put things into words. You just did. It is purposefully NOT poetic. I wanted it weak, and impotent, just like the guy feels when he is struggling to express himself. You made him Shakespear.

Fair enough. I was trying on my "not nice" hat.

I'll have to say I love you in a song?

[video=youtube;E6Vn17S37_Y]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6Vn17S37_Y

Touche, Missure Pussycat.

I'll have to say I love all you guys in a song.

A couple of things. First off, I love Ram's writing but I really love the lyric of Jack's word for word. It's got content and singablity. That seems to be a JackStrength, that whole singable words thing. And... the first thing I thought this morning was the Croce tune but, you know, watch that Ted video OGP posted yesterday. Ain't nothing wrong with grabbing stuff and using it. I very much like his lyric here.

And thanks, Ram, for the Croce. Man I loved his stuff. Honestly, it didn't occur to me at the time - but of course I see it now.

Now, all I need is for one of you big, strong, musician types to put that kind of quality music behind my words and we got something, don't we. Come on, people, we're dying in obscurity here and ain't none of us getting younger. Tick Tock.

very nice. the chorus has a couple tripping points:

And so

Aha. - For all the things I cannot say to you directly, I wrote them in a song. That must be what yo're trying to say.

yup

I thought the imagery in that line was pretty strained, but otherwise I liked the lyric a lot.

I'm with Ram on this one. I'm no a big fan of the constant rhyme of the verses and I really don't feel much of a connection to the characters. Once some personalization is added in his suggestions, it hits me a lot more.

Do you have any particular style in mind for the music?

Shortchord, I'm assuming you're asking me.

In my head it was a ballad. Nice and slow, but with movement. Very square. 4/4. I hear the chorus as swelling and soaring at first then gentle for the last 4 lines. It's, by design, simple and uncomplicated. That's how I hear the music. I know folks here are generally not fans of country music, but I hear this in my head as a country/pop song. Don't be hatin' on me.

Freakin' love it.

Already have melodies swirling in my brain from one read thru.

Just spent a few minutes with it. Hopefully, I can lay down a quick piano, drums, and vocal after 5:00.