Bonoman

I'm pissed off. I got home from work today and Red had opened a letter that an old (female) friend had sent to me. She admitted to having a fit of jealousy, which is why she opened it. I told her that if she couldn't trust me, then she should probably think twice about marrying me. I haven't cheated on anybody since I was 16 and I don't plan on revisiting that scenario ever again (Jewish guilt is a killer). There was nothing lurid or inappropriate in the letter, and I knew she felt bad about opening it, but I'm still righteously pissed about it! {censored}ing chicks, man. Just when you think you've found a good one they go and pull {censored} like this. I'll be married in 11 and a half days. Yay me.

Originally Posted by Zamfir Now you see why you were so useful to all of us married farts for so long. How could you betray us?? Then again, first kisses and no vows almost always = not-so-fun breakup on the back end... Then again, vows don't stop that either, and add legal and financial consequences. Aren't I just a great morale booster for your bidness in two weeks? Yeah... Thanks for that. I guess now wouldn't be a good time to tell you about my super-hot co-worker who has started stalking me in a serious way and how I've learned that I can master temptation with more aptitude than a priest at a Boy Scout Jamboree... Originally Posted by Thrustin Hey Bonoman, Could you pleeeeeze reduce your sig size. My computer is having trouble loading pages. Never going to happen, my friend. I love my sig. It's like a visual history of the HCBF. Sadly, I can't even change it a little because apparently HC changed the sig rules at some point while I wasn't around and, as you've noted, mine is way too long, so if I try to change anything they're going to make me cut it down like a Jewish baby's penis at his bris.

Originally Posted by Zamfir Better get those guilty first kisses in, then! It's too late for me. I guess I'll just have to live vicariously through my single friends from now on.

Originally Posted by Hearafter Are you married yet? Two weeks and 18 hours left to go.

It just dawned on me that I will never have a first kiss ever again. Not a guilt-free one, anyhow...

Hey guys, just in case you haven't been watching CNN lately, Michael Jackson is still dead.

Originally Posted by Zamfir I've had the post-drinking runs for *two* days. And this is why I rarely drink anymore. It's not worth the aftermath.

Originally Posted by Zamfir I hear that. Somehow I'm supposed to keep dozens of taxpayers happy while being interrupted every two minutes to answer another coworker's task o' the minute. You learn to roll with the unexpected, but it takes huge whack out of your energy and mental clarity by the end of the day... Especially trying to resolve complex citizenship cases around really complex and not-so-clear laws... I'm just mentally drained after a 10 hour day. I don't even have an urge to play bass when I get home... I veg on the intarwebz and with TV. I love what I'm doing, and I'm paid considerably better than I was in academia...but this job is aging me something fierce. I barely play anymore either. Or write. No time, no energy. And now, to top it all off, the Inside Workers in Toronto went on strike this week which means no Social Workers, which means no social work, which means if this strike goes on for more than a month we're going to be suffering from layoffs and possibly closing down altogether if it goes on much longer than that. And on top of that, the Garbage Collectors went on strike too, so in about two more days the whole city is going to stink since the weather is above 90 on average now that it's summer. I'm officially not supposed to take a position on the strike, but since I'm fairly anonymous here I'll tell you, this strike sucks, is totally {censored}ing stupid, and for once in my life I'm not on the side of the strikers since I think they're asking for way too much (18 vacation days a year that roll-over if they're not taken and turn into a serious cash payout upon retirement - we're in a recession here people! What part of 'bankrupt city budget' don't you understand?)

Originally Posted by Zamfir There is always wayyy too much to do at the office. I resemble that remark... No matter how much I get done, there's always more to do, and if I get that done, I can still always find at least a dozen pressing things that I've been ignoring. My job is the job of two people (for real) and that's not even counting the extraneous bull{censored} my manager decides to throw on my plate at the inevitable last minute... I need a new job. Again. I love what I'm doing now, but I'm not paid half enough for the amount of stress I have to deal with.

Originally Posted by oldivor *wipes sweat from forehead* I thought I had missed something huge there. Still don't know why you just don't walk up to a woman and give her half of your stuff though. [/smartass] Congrats. I hope you have a wonderful and happy married life when it gets around. Edit: It is Red, right? It is indeed. I couldn't imagine anybody else having the power to make me stupid enough to agree to do such a crazy thing.

Originally Posted by oldivor When did I miss this? B-man? Married? Not yet. Thirty-eight days. Not that I'm counting or anything...

Originally Posted by Zamfir Bonoman married? That rumbling and shaking you just felt was not turbulent air, but the universe shuddering to a halt. Congrats, sir! If you're sure, you're sure. Enjoy Vegas, and the new life together! P.S. Americans over here have to get a notarized statement (and usually get it from us) that they have never been married. Every time I see one, I adopt my tongue-in-cheek routine, shake my head in exhausted pretend-disappointment, and mutter things like "We tried to warn you...you realize marriage means legal and financial headaches...we just can't encourage this...but, if you're convinced this is remotely wise..." Granted, I only do that a little bit. Because it makes for comic fun. Yeah, I know marriage is crazy and that doing it makes me a horrible hypocrite, but whatever. You only live once and how many women would agree to get married by a Fat Elvis? The pictures alone will make the whole thing worth it.

In six weeks time I will be on a flight home from Vegas and I will be married. This is a strange thought for me, and I don't mean the flying part...

Originally Posted by oldivor Post whore. >> I was actually thinking about including a red reference in one of my HCBF stories. I should write that one up... No that you're looking for permission, but I grant it anyhow.

Originally Posted by oldivor haha noob haha noob

Originally Posted by bassthumpintwin Is this the only thread you post in anymore? Pretty much. I get too much hate most of the time when I post in other threads, especially since I'm rarely talking about bass, so I've pretty much weened myself off of HCBF because I can't stand arguing anymore. But I can't quite break the addiction, so all I have to say is: THANK GOD (& T-40) FOR THE THREAD KILLER THREAD!!!

Page six bump.

Page 8 bump

I can't help but find it humorous that my significant other is watching The Biggest Loser whilst polishing her way through a whole bag of Chewy Chips Ahoy. Not that she's a huge girl or anything; I just enjoy the irony. It's like living the American Dream, only we're in Canada.

You forgot Lamp Post. For the record, Post Apocalypse Post was my favourite.

Originally Posted by Thumper Bachman-Turner Overweight---Canada's Heaviest Rawk Band... WINNER OF THE BONOMAN POST OF THE DAY AWARD!!!

Burning the candle at both ends is really starting to singe my ass hair...

Originally Posted by hawkhuff Good morning, Bonoman. Excuse my ignorance but you write books? What novels have you published? Summer vacation is coming up and I was just wondering. I haven't published any books yet. I've only written one and I haven't really tried to publish it, so... I think what you're thinking of is that I used to be an editor (now I'm a social worker), but those were scientific textbooks and not really the best for summer reading, but if you want good book recommendations for real then just ask me because I read a lot. Or, I used to before I became oh so freakin' tired...

Originally Posted by Hearafter But but but... think of all the fantastic humor, the indescribable beauty, the phenominal artistry, the blissful charisma, that you're missing... on second thought... I'm not saying I don't miss the HCBF, I'm just saying I really don't post much anymore and this thread is one of the few reasons I do. I'm kinda like Jack Bauer in that I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!! I work too much, my girlfriend is kind of becoming high-maintenance, my sister is a co-dependent who can't seem to form a full thought without first running it by me, I never have alone-time anymore, and when I do I'm usually working. I haven't even written anything in about three months, which if you know me then you know that's a really long time. Not that I don't want to write - I've got a whole new novel done in my head - I just don't have any freakin' time to do anything anymore!!! ARGH!!! /rant over //needs a vacation BAD!!!

This thread is pretty much the only reason I come here anymore.