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Old Woman!


The Aardvark

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If there's one thing I hate more than when a movie is over-quoted, it's when it is incorrectly over-quoted :mad:

 

Especially when you are in college and people can't seem to carry an intelligent conversation during a meal without reverting to quoting either Monty Python, Homestarrunner, or Dead Alewives every 5 minutes, for 5 minutes. :rolleyes:

 

:mad:

 

:(

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ARTHUR: Old woman!

DENNIS: Man!

ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?

DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.

ARTHUR: What?

DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!

ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.

DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.

ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'

DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?

ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the

behind you looked--

DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an

inferior!

ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...

DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By

exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to our outdated imperialist

dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our

society! If there's ever going to be any progress--

WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how

d'you do?

ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the

Britons. Who's castle is that?

WOMAN: King of the who?

ARTHUR: The Britons.

WOMAN: Who are the Britons?

ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.

WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an

autonomous collective.

DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship.

A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--

WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.

DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--

ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives

in that castle?

WOMAN: No one live there.

ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?

WOMAN: We don't have a lord.

ARTHUR: What?

DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We

take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the

week.

ARTHUR: Yes.

DENNIS: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified

at a special biweekly meeting.

ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal

affairs,--

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--

ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!

WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?

ARTHUR: I am your king!

WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.

ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.

WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?

ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the

purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of

the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to

carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!

DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing

swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive

power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some

farcical aquatic ceremony.

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power

just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

ARTHUR: Shut up!

DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an emperor just

because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd

put me away!

ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!

DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.

ARTHUR: Shut up!

DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!

ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!

DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you hear that, did you hear

that, eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing

me, you saw it didn't you?

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