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Jazz Ad


Kaesh

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Jazz Ad doesn't play bass. Basses play themselves in Jazz Ad's presence.

 

Jazz Ad doesn't feel pain. When he is hit, he projects the trauma onto nearby vegetation, causing it to wither and die.

 

Jazz Ad doesn't see the future, he creates it.

 

Constipation caught Jazz Ad in Asia. That was the day Mt. Everest was formed.

 

Jazz Ad's right eye is host to a family of blue whales. His left eye was inhabited by a group of cachalots, but he kicked them out for no reason at all.

 

Jazz Ad is transcendent towards time. Thus, the phrases "before Jazz Ad" or "after Jazz Ad" are nonsensical.

 

Jazz Ad is the only entity impervious to "the suck".

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Jazz Ad doesn't feel pain, pain feels Jazz Ad.

 

Jazz Ad built a time machine and travelled into the past to prevent President John F Kennedy's assassination. He jumped between the bullets and JFK, stopping the bullets with his JAF bass. JFK's head exploded in amazement.

 

There is no such thing as evolution, just the creatures that Jazz Ad has allowed to live.

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