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The jargon thread


groutt

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I know we're paving the road while we're building it, but we need to delight our customers and provide a thrilling and rewarding culture for our associates while we do it. We play to win. And with our unblinking execution, we add to the value stack and the value proposition. Let's run that up the flagpole.

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It's the vision thing....Groutt is all sizzle and no steak...

 

 

Yeah, OK, the steak/sizzle numbers are weak. I handed it off the the cross-functional team and expect a closed-loop corrective action implimentation plan by EOB today.

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Yeah, OK, the steak/sizzle numbers are weak. I handed it off the the cross-functional team and expect a closed-loop corrective action implimentation plan by EOB today.

 

 

 

see - was that so hard. All they have to do is timeline their deliverable and BAM...you got soup.

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I feel I must shift the paradigm of this thread. For it is advisable to think outside the box, but just don't lose sight of the box... :blah: :blah:

One manager at work has a new buzzword: "blackbox" For everything...
"Don't put me in a blackbox with that new software. I need to get into it up to my elbows and really see how it works before I can move forth with the project."

I am going to put him in a black coffin box next time I hear him scream "BLACKBOX!"

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Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.



Graham_Chapman_Colonel.jpg


That's not jargon, that's banter!



(no it isn't, it's zany madcap!)

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"Value added". I swear, every MBA I know must have had this phrase drilled into their head with an impact drill.


"so what your saying is we want to make our product have as much value to the customer as possible?? NO {censored}!?!?! It took you how long to get that degree?"

 

 

If you hate the "duh" factor of that phrase, you should read the book Blue Ocean Strategy. It'll drive you nuts:D

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We prefer the term "RIF'ed", Craig.

 

They don't use "RIF" where I work anymore. It's now FMP or FMP action, and it's also a verb ("So-and-so was FMP'd"). FMP = Forced Management Protocol. I think. Might be process. Anyone who knows for sure has been FMP'd.

 

I thought that was so mind-blowingly offensive that I started using "killed", as in "So-and-so got killed last week". As you might imagine, those that use the term FMP weren't too excited by my use of the word "killed" to describe people who were laid off.

 

So I came up with a better euphemism that everyone could live with: wished well (vt), or well-wishing (n). This came from emails I used to receive about how "...so-and-so is leaving the business, and we wish him well in his future endeavours." We long-since stopped receiving those emails - now people get wished well and they just disappear. You figure out they're gone when your emails and phone calls go unanswered for a month.

 

Usage:

 

"So-and-so got wished well last week."

"I hear there's going to be another round of well-wishing soon."

 

;)

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Go to
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and you can print out your "Bull{censored} Bingo!" card or play online...


"Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Bull{censored} Bingo is a way to change all of that! "



That's flippin' brilliant!

Contra-indicated to actually do on paper in a meeting, but if I had a PDA I'd be totally on-board. :thu:

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