Members LouSpaceMonkey Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 So, here's my CL Add: Hey, We are or at least trying to be a Heavy Metal band. We have Drums and Bass. We are looking for a guitarist who plays in the vain of: Iron MaidenPanteraMegadethQueensrycheDio, Lamb of God,etc. basically something heavy, that's got a groove to it, with a bit of a progressive edge. If your interested email back. thanks for yourtime and I get this from people..... I am a 19/female/live inVA I have been writings songs since I was 12,I also sing punk/postpunk/garage/metal/alternative/grunge very interested in getting a band started,I BELIEVE THAT THE MORE YOU PRACTICE AND SET A GOAL FOR YOURSELF THE BETTER THE BAND WILL BE,and you have to truly enjoy music because success doesnt happen overnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Reply, even though we are looking for a guitarist. Hmm, Well, I gotta say we don't have a problem playing with you ifyou don't mind the age difference. see below and email back ifyou're interested. Fist let me say we are in our late 30 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jateca Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 So, here's my CL Add: At what point did I say, "Hey me and my drummer what to join your project"? I don't care what you have, I don't even care if your the best guitarist in the area. You are joining my band, I am not joining yours. Please do not dictate the terms of the intro/audition. I think I laid it out pretty clear without being an ass, what the hell is wrong with these people? Well the 1st one is a timewaster, I'm sure like the rest of us you've met many before so no surprises there. Not sure what's getting you worked up about the 2nd one though. Your ad suggests to me that you are putting a band together, rather than recruiting for YOUR band, and this Mike fella seems to be interested in collaborating. Don't understand what's upsetting you about his reply? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members King Kashue Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 Not sure what's getting you worked up about the 2nd one though. Your ad suggests to me that you are putting a band together, rather than recruiting for YOUR band, and this Mike fella seems to be interested in collaborating.Don't understand what's upsetting you about his reply? +1. Your ad sounds like two guys looking for a guitarist, wanting to form a band. It doesn't read like an existing band just looking to replace a member. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members baracuda2004 Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 a 19 yr old girl singer can net you some $$$ if she's hot enough and can write a catchy song actually lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members t3ch Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 What they said. Having said that, we've posted CL ads when looking for a new singer or band to gig with, and get the most ridiculous responses. We're quite obviously a heavy rock band, and get reggae rap, goth, punk, etc. bands all emailing us to do a show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Hearafter Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 Your ad read "We are looking for a guitarist." The replies you got were "I am a singer." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members perrydabassman Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 {censored} him and feed him fish heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crescent Seven Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 I always ask that people send me lots of information about their playing style, themselves, etc., in my ads, and I always end up getting: "Yeah dude, sounds good, we should jam". C7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brother Mango Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 The 19yr old girl says "I ALSO sing." Does that mean she's a guitarist who has the added benefit of singing? One concern that I have: when you start with "What's wrong with these people?" It says something about the filter between you and other people. Your "what's wrong with these people?" filter. I hear something innocent; maybe naive in her writing. I think she's deserving of more empathy than contempt. Also, your commitment is to pulling a band together. Now you're distracted with "what's wrong with the people." Let that go. Those people could be networking opportunites or simply let them know you don't sense a good fit. Or, ask them questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crescent Seven Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 The 19yr old girl says "I ALSO sing." Does that mean she's a guitarist who has the added benefit of singing? One concern that I have: when you start with "What's wrong with these people?" It says something about the filter between you and other people. Your "what's wrong with these people?" filter. I hear something innocent; maybe naive in her writing. I think she's deserving of more empathy than contempt. Also, your commitment is to pulling a band together. Now you're distracted with "what's wrong with the people." Let that go. Those people could be networking opportunites or simply let them know you don't sense a good fit. Or, ask them questions. You're the stoniest sober dude I've ever dealt with. C7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brother Mango Posted March 15, 2009 Members Share Posted March 15, 2009 You're the stoniest sober dude I've ever dealt with. C7 Thank you. I appreciate that. You're beautiful! Seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LouSpaceMonkey Posted March 16, 2009 Author Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 I think my problem is this: It's not so much, I don't/or am not willing t play with people, but I have laid down the ground rules here, we meet people for an "interview" before we audition, that's the way this band does things. Now I got a guitarist is trying to dictate the terms of the meet. It's like if your were going to an interview, and company x said, "meet us at our corporate office in ....and you said no, I don't think so, I got all this cool stuff here at home, you meet me here." Also, I really don't have any malice to the 19 year old, at all, beside the fact she's ignorant ( in the text book since of the word, not knowing but willing to learn) audacity to snub us with out hearing us, then ask to help her do a demo, WTF? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RSBro Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'm so glad I found a good band (again). After my first audition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zachoff Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Oh, craigslist... Ad: "I'm 32 and looking to ..."Response: "Dude, you're too old." Ad: "Bassist and drummer looking for guitarist. We play heavy metal..."Response: "I've been playing for 15 years and can play every Santana song ever made..." These are fake, of course, but I've had zero luck on craigslist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LouSpaceMonkey Posted March 16, 2009 Author Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'm so glad I found a good band (again). After my first audition. You are a lucky man my friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LouSpaceMonkey Posted March 16, 2009 Author Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Oh, craigslist... Ad: "I'm 32 and looking to ..." Response: "Dude, you're too old." Ad: "Bassist and drummer looking for guitarist. We play heavy metal..." Response: "I've been playing for 15 years and can play every Santana song ever made..." These are fake, of course, but I've had zero luck on craigslist. Yeah, cuz Mick Mars, wasn't like 800 yrs old when he joined MC and they made it Jebus, I just want to get a band together of people who like metal and want to play out, and be half way serious about it, without dictating the terms of the audition. Sh1t, I'll bend to majority rule, but right now this is our project and to tell the truth, I would never come up for an audition and try to dictate the place and time???. DO you guy really think I'm over reacting here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Death Hands Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 You're the stoniest sober dude I've ever dealt with. C7 Whoa... Whoa... Wait. Whoa... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members venturawest Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'm so glad I found a good band (again). After my first audition. houston craigslist must be different. i got three auditions within a week and joined the second band i auditioned with - within two weeks of moving here. did our first gig two weeks later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members King Kashue Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 It's not so much, I don't/or am not willing t play with people, but I have laid down the ground rules here, we meet people for an "interview" before we audition, that's the way this band does things. Now I got a guitarist is trying to dictate the terms of the meet. It's like if your were going to an interview, and company x said, "meet us at our corporate office in ....and you said no, I don't think so, I got all this cool stuff here at home, you meet me here." Honestly, if I thought my bargaining position were strong enough, then yeah I would (In fact I did essentially dictate terms last year because I had two offers on the table. It wasn't heavy handed or extreme, but I was able to alter the timing to accommodate both offers). Plenty of people do in fact negotiate/alter/dictate terms in job negotiations or otherwise. If he's willing to toss you aside if you don't meet his terms, why should he agree to all of yours? Because you stated them first? He's not being rude, and he's not being insulting. He's just stating what he wants (just as you have), if you both find yourselves unwilling to compromise, then you'll know right away that you're not right for each other...I would see that as a positive. The alternative is if he hides what he really wants in order to get the gig, and then is unhappy with the situation and tries to force changes 6 months into practices...That seems way worse to my mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brother Mango Posted March 17, 2009 Members Share Posted March 17, 2009 I think my problem is this:It's not so much, I don't/or am not willing t play with people, but I have laid down the ground rules here, we meet people for an "interview" before we audition, that's the way this band does things. Now I got a guitarist is trying to dictate the terms of the meet. It's like if your were going to an interview, and company x said, "meet us at our corporate office in ....and you said no, I don't think so, I got all this cool stuff here at home, you meet me here." Also, I really don't have any malice to the 19 year old, at all, beside the fact she's ignorant ( in the text book since of the word, not knowing but willing to learn) audacity to snub us with out hearing us, then ask to help her do a demo, WTF? Where do you read her snub? I can guess where you're reading it, and if I'm correct, there are a couple of ways to interpret her words. Is it the point where she talks about setting goals, finding people who play well, and working hard? Regarding the guy who wanted to change the "terms" after you laid out the "ground rules." You're languaging of this is awfully stiff. And without the entire context of the situation, we can only guess at what you're encountering. So, here's what I'm getting so far. I agree with King Kashue. The guy is making a counter-offer. But I think you're reading it as he's trying to bend your will. Maybe he's trying to bend your will, and he's an asshole who goes around doing that to everyone in his life. Maybe he's simply making a counter-offer. Right now, I don't have enough information to say what his intention is. All we have is some words from the guy. If it's truly against some formal ground rules, that you do something other than what you presented, then tell him that it's against some serious rules, and you could get into serious trouble with the FCC, FDA, SEC, PTA, ABA, or some entity. But I doubt that you can get into serious trouble. Yes. I'm getting an image of you that you're awfully stiff. I'd be uncomfortable asking questions around you ... even if it meant something could be better. Then again, for me, you're just words on a computer screen and I'm painting in all of this other stuff. You could really be an ogre; or you could be someone who's naive and needs to trust people and their intentions a little more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LouSpaceMonkey Posted March 17, 2009 Author Members Share Posted March 17, 2009 Where do you read her snub? I can guess where you're reading it, and if I'm correct, there are a couple of ways to interpret her words.Is it the point where she talks about setting goals, finding people who play well, and working hard?Regarding the guy who wanted to change the "terms" after you laid out the "ground rules." You're languaging of this is awfully stiff. And without the entire context of the situation, we can only guess at what you're encountering. So, here's what I'm getting so far.I agree with King Kashue. The guy is making a counter-offer. But I think you're reading it as he's trying to bend your will. Maybe he's trying to bend your will, and he's an asshole who goes around doing that to everyone in his life. Maybe he's simply making a counter-offer. Right now, I don't have enough information to say what his intention is. All we have is some words from the guy. If it's truly against some formal ground rules, that you do something other than what you presented, then tell him that it's against some serious rules, and you could get into serious trouble with the FCC, FDA, SEC, PTA, ABA, or some entity. But I doubt that you can get into serious trouble.Yes. I'm getting an image of you that you're awfully stiff. I'd be uncomfortable asking questions around you ... even if it meant something could be better.Then again, for me, you're just words on a computer screen and I'm painting in all of this other stuff. You could really be an ogre; or you could be someone who's naive and needs to trust people and their intentions a little more. Hmm, Well I'm not, not will to compromise. That's why I put this up here first to see if I was over reacting to this guy. I have gone back and forth with him without slagging. He does want to meet, but he doesn't want to come out here to Ashburn, and wants some place closer to Alexandria, like Falls Church (a mid point between us) which is fine.Then again, for me, you're just words on a computer screen and I'm painting in all of this other stuff. You could really be an ogre; or you could be someone who's naive and needs to trust people and their intentions a little more. Ok, that's a bit harsh. Although you said it in the nicest way, I'm either an idiot or an a$$? This is what I will say about that, trust is not something that is in abundance here, 9 times out of 10, you will end up getting screwed if you trust people here that's just the culture here, so you kinda have to be guarded. This has been my experience, at least Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members t3ch Posted March 17, 2009 Members Share Posted March 17, 2009 This is what I will say about that, trust is not something that is in abundance here, 9 times out of 10, you will end up getting screwed if you trust people here that's just the culture here, so you kinda have to be guarded. This has been my experience, at least Nope, you're right. I {censored}ing hate that about this area. Having said that, once you guys get up and going, shoot me your myspace or songs or whatever. Maybe we could get some networking going, or at the very least, get some extra bodies at each others shows Disclaimer: Our current myspace has our old singer on it, who was awful. :poke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brother Mango Posted March 17, 2009 Members Share Posted March 17, 2009 Hmm, Well I'm not, not will to compromise. That's why I put this up here first to see if I was over reacting to this guy. I have gone back and forth with him without slagging. He does want to meet, but he doesn't want to come out here to Ashburn, and wants some place closer to Alexandria, like Falls Church (a mid point between us) which is fine.Then again, for me, you're just words on a computer screen and I'm painting in all of this other stuff. You could really be an ogre; or you could be someone who's naive and needs to trust people and their intentions a little more. Ok, that's a bit harsh. Although you said it in the nicest way, I'm either an idiot or an a$$? This is what I will say about that, trust is not something that is in abundance here, 9 times out of 10, you will end up getting screwed if you trust people here that's just the culture here, so you kinda have to be guarded. This has been my experience, at least I wouldn't say either you're an idiot or an ass. I realize that many of us have mechanisms that keep us from trusting people. That's not about being an idiot or an ass. That's about protecting oneself; but often times, we're operating in that mode when we don't need to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members J-chot Posted March 17, 2009 Members Share Posted March 17, 2009 I will never be in a band with someone who i do not know. especially if that person resorts to posting in classified type ads. not to down-talk anyone who uses classifieds, I'm sure my goals and preferences are a lot different than yours. I would totally use craigslist if I was looking for a bassist for a 4 piece or something, I just find that things work so much better when you take a reliable friend with potential and "mold him" or give them motivation to practice and train his-self.....I find reliability and agreeability (is that a word?) much more important than musical skill. necessary and functional. but that's all IMHO I would have cut off that corespondance after the first response due to the pathetic non related responses, general lack of communication, and overt desperation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brother Mango Posted March 17, 2009 Members Share Posted March 17, 2009 I would have cut off that corespondance after the first response due to the pathetic non related responses, general lack of communication, and overt desperation. This is one more legitimate interpretation of a single email. Now, imagine being a judge charged with protecting the Consitution or, someone trying to read a Bible. Lots o' luck! The Bible readers are the worst off because they rarely collaborate; and they've got so much more at stake. (Ok. I got that out of my system. Let's get back to the topic: proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that LouSpaceMoney is indeed an ogre. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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