Members summit111 Posted February 8, 2012 Author Members Share Posted February 8, 2012 My Brothers, I contacted the other band members and told them what needed to be done. I wanted a commitment from them and from the new bass player. Meeting tomorrow night. On another note, I reached out to the leader of the New Orleans jazz group I also play in for his advice. That's a totally different scene. He asked me why I didn't fire him sooner. Those New Orleans guys operate on a different wavelength. It's ALL BUSINESS there. He said I was the 4th drummer for his band and I was only a phone call away from being replaced if I didn't work out. Been with them for 5 years so, things ain't so bad there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MikeyParent Posted February 8, 2012 Members Share Posted February 8, 2012 Well I think the OP's issue has been addressed but I gotta say: I had a good friend in my band 3 years ago. We got in a slight argument at practice the night before a gig. He basically told me that I couldn't talk to him that way and that he'll take his {censored} and go right now, implying that he would not play the gig the next day. Knowing his history, I knew he was serious. I had to do damage control and basically kiss his ass so I didn't have to cancel the gig. I wouldn't have been able to get a fill-in on such short notice. I would say if he would really do that to you over a "slight argument", you might want to think about firing him as a friend also... Sounds like a dbag TBO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tim_7string Posted February 8, 2012 Members Share Posted February 8, 2012 I would say if he would really do that to you over a "slight argument", you might want to think about firing him as a friend also...Sounds like a dbag TBO. Can't really argue too much. I keep our friendship somewhat distant. He is usually busy as a trucker, so I don't really talk to him all that often anymore. Maybe once every two or three weeks or something. It works for us. He's also an alcoholic, which contributes to such behavior. Basically, the argument came about when I had to keep bringing my powered head, guitar combo amp and bass combo amp plus instruments and pedalboard to practice at the music store. The practice room was on the 2nd floor, so I had to truck all this stuff up and down a flight of stairs every time (couldn't leave it there, since it was shared with another band). He would bring his own guitar and amp with him too, but mainly played bass with us. So I brought the bass and often had to load the amp up a flight of stairs to the practice room every time. That night, I set the amp down and was looking at him. He looked at me like he was waiting for me to move it. I was stressed out that day, so I told him, "Do I have to do everything in the band?" Because at the time, I pretty much was. I sang every single song, had to direct everything, play all the rhythm guitar parts, learn all the solos, show my wife how to play bass on the few songs she played, and sometimes show my friend too. Finally, I had to explain to the drummer (who was very young) where to come in and where to stop, since he had very little experience with being in a band before. It was all on me and it was very stressful. Years ago (early '90s), he and I were in a band. We had an outdoor wedding party gig. The bandleader (lead singer/guitarist), lead guitarist/vocalist and myself (keyboardist/vocalist) were all in the bus with all the band equipment and instruments. We arrived first and set up everything, including the drums. The drummer and bassist (my friend) were supposed to arrive soon after us. Unfortunately, they were both really late, so I ended up playing drums while the lead guitarist played bass. We did that for most of a set until the drummer finally showed up. Then, still waiting for the bassist, I traded off on bass guitar and keyboards with left-hand bass parts. He never showed up. Never bothered to call and let us know what happened. He simply had something going on with his family and didn't try to let us know. He still doesn't feel all that guilty about it either. That's why I won't have a gigging band with him ever again. I gave it a try three years ago because my wife-to-be was in the band and my friend and a guy I worked with at the music store. It was kind of thrown together (the other two weren't our first choices) and on reflection, it was probably a huge mistake. It should have been planned out better. I'm doing better now with the band I have. All three of us are veterans on the local music scene, so it just works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members totheengravers Posted February 8, 2012 Members Share Posted February 8, 2012 Well I think the OP's issue has been addressed but I gotta say:I would say if he would really do that to you over a "slight argument", you might want to think about firing him as a friend also...Sounds like a dbag TBO. Yeah that sounds pretty {censored}ty. My old bands guitarist did something similar at our last gig - which became our last gig due to him being a dbag. I would say that the argument that erupted wasn't slight in any manner. The short of it is that I dissolved the band after the gig (drummer was leaving anyway and we were only a three piece) and due to his actions and words to me and my s/o, fired him as a friend as well, so to speak and haven't spoken to him in over 2 years. The dumb part is he now enjoys a 2nd guitarist position in a band with my old drummer in probably the most popular act in my town. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members summit111 Posted February 10, 2012 Author Members Share Posted February 10, 2012 My Brothers, Well, it's done. I spoke to him today and informed him about our decision. As some of you said, he was probably ready to get out, and he was. He told me he was hanging in there for the spring and was going to quit in May. Two bands were too much for him and he likes playing the style of music in the other band. A WIN WIN for all. Thanks for all the comments and support! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members beatpoet Posted February 10, 2012 Members Share Posted February 10, 2012 After having just had to break up a band with a longtime friend, I'm going to make it a personal policy not to be in bands with guys or gals I'm friends with. Bands are destined to disintegrate at some point. Why throw a friendship on top of that fire.There's that old saying "Don't mix friendship with business". Well, at least in business the main point is to make money and there's usually money to be made. In music? The money's not good enough and a myriad of other factors (artistic vision, song choice, etc.) are adding to the problem.Best to keep they guys I work with in the band at arm's legnth. I hear you there, though it largely depends how much of an "individual" you are. Me, I'm about earning money and giving the best recordings/performances I can give. Where it goes wrong is with the guys who think that you all have to be mates in a band to make it work. A football team don't have to all be mates, they just have to pass the ball and work together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sillypeoples Posted February 10, 2012 Members Share Posted February 10, 2012 Well I want to be the fly on the wall when the 'musical ability and talent' topic comes up. Bass players don't have it easy...they really have to fill things in, carry the band, when singers can take a break, guitar players back off....that said, it's not rocket science to bang out a bass line...so the question is where's the problem... Reminds of getting into a discussion about the Nashville numbering system...a guy calls a 6 on stage...sure NOW I know what that is..how to figure that out......but when I asked him what chord that was...he didn't know...sometimes it's the blind leading the blind...they expect you to know what they don't or can't explain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sillypeoples Posted February 10, 2012 Members Share Posted February 10, 2012 Beat - I wish more people like you were out there in music - the best gigs seem to be where everyone just 'tries'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WynnD Posted February 10, 2012 Members Share Posted February 10, 2012 My Brothers,We're getting close to a decision to let our bass player go. He's a really nice guy and we like him, but it just isn't working out. He was a guitar player and switched to bass to be in our band. Still needs sheet music for the simplest of songs, and still struggles after several years.Now he's involved with another activity that interferes with our regular weekly rehearsal forcing us to reschedule, with difficulty. We have another guy, great player and singer, that wants to join the band. He's subbed several times with us and did a great job with little practice.Wow, on paper, he's gotta go, but in my heart, it's a tough call. But, he also started playing with another band that's just starting, but with no gigs booked. We have a busy spring schedule coming up. Any thoughts? Talk with him. He probably knows it's not working out and may be ready to leave anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tim_7string Posted February 10, 2012 Members Share Posted February 10, 2012 Talk with him. He probably knows it's not working out and may be ready to leave anyway. Refer to post #30. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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