Members mbfrancis Posted September 4, 2014 Members Share Posted September 4, 2014 Don't know whether this thread is now disturbing or beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 4, 2014 Moderators Share Posted September 4, 2014 Disturbingly beautiful? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 4, 2014 Members Share Posted September 4, 2014 The DisturbistsThe Disturbators Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted September 4, 2014 Members Share Posted September 4, 2014 Area Man Caught Disturbating Near Stone-Skipping Couple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 18, 2014 Author Members Share Posted September 18, 2014 I've been doing some work on this. I've got the ghost of a tune tingling my brain, and a few extra, though unfinished lyrical touches. I thought I'd put them up so you can all see where I'm at now. So, is this a thing? I said. Is what a thing? she asked.This, us just hanging out, you know. She thought a bit, then she said No.No? No it’s not a thing. Though it’s nice to think you think it is.Wait, who said, I thought… who said I’m thinking?You mean you’re not? No I’m just wond’ring…Good. She smiled and said It’s nice to wonder. Then she put her hand in mineand we walked down to the river,stood on the bank togetherand skipped stones across the water. This is awfully nice, I sighed. She laughed from her side of the bed.You shouldn’t get too used to it. Why not? I asked. It’s wonderful.I know it is. But it won’t last. Why tell me that? Why say that now?What, now that you’re in love with me? I’m not, I never said I was.You will be, though. It’s in your eyes. There’s nothing in my eyes but sleep.---- Then she leaned in close and saidNever mind, it doesn’t matter.then put her head back on my shoulder.Don’t think about that now, just hold me closer. She was right. A few years past, I left that town, moved to New York.I thought I saw her jogging once, in the rain in Central Park.------------ No, there’s nothing wrong with you,we just didn’t fit together.And you were always chasing afterdreams of me that I could not deliver. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted September 18, 2014 Members Share Posted September 18, 2014 You lost me at "she was right." Til then I was kind of enchanted. (Provided you can keep the story straight in the delivery...my "who's on first" concern remains.) I was hoping for a final conversation that was light and airy but laden with doom and imminent loss. Like a casual conversation where you glean that this is the last time they'll see each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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