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Lonelier - help updating teenage lyrics


mbfrancis

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Wow, thanks man. What production things would you do?

 

 

I'd spend some time finding the perfect synth bass sound then working out the perfect synth bass part. To my ears, it's aching for that Pet Shop Boys et al pop sound. Then again, you could go all 60's retro bass and that could work nicely as well. Either way, this is just crying for a great bass part! That would get 90% there.

 

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I'd spend some time finding the perfect synth bass sound then working out the perfect synth bass part. To my ears, it's aching for that Pet Shop Boys et al pop sound. Then again, you could go all 60's retro bass and that could work nicely as well. Either way, this is just crying for a great bass part! That would get 90% there.

 

Yeah, the bass is one of the primary sounds I'm looking for. Right now, I can barely discern it and honestly wasn't even sure if it even has a true bass at this point. It so, it should be featured more and IMO, rewritten to provide more groove. A few others that passed by me while listening.

 

1) The vocals are a bit buried by the perc at the outset. I'm not sure if you just want to gain up the vox, or maybe thin out the drums a little. But something to get the vocals to sit on top a little more.

 

2) I feel like a supportive acoustic guitar track would sound nice. I was listening to this song this morning, and it gets across what was playing in my head while listening to "Lonelier" pretty well.

 

3) I also think trying a Stickboy-esque clean electric to make a few spots pop would sound nice. Just some light picking of the chord (perhaps as little as just 2-3 notes) sitting on top, not very loud, more atmospheric.

 

4) Lastly, the whole thing feels like it needs a brighter coat of polish. It might be as simple as an EQ shelf on the entire piece or maybe isolating a few tracks (piano and vox maybe?) to give a high mid boost.

 

But damn is this a fine song. Even as is, I'm enjoying the hell out of it.

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I definitely think it needs some polish. Also better levels - the piano could come up, and the vocal could ride better - too low at the start, too loud elsewhere. Probably needs some more EQ love overall, too.

 

There's no bass - one of the creative restrictions I put on myself was that I would only use the piano track and nothing else, no other music (just vox and perc). I knew if I started adding stuff it would be a slippery slope and I may never finish. (I had a glock on the chorus melody but muted it.) So one thing I would do if I kept this arrangement would be to re-do the piano to have it be a little more dynamic, a few more runs and fills to maintain interest -- I was intentionally conservative because I wanted to nail the take and only go off a little bit at the end.

 

Hey Lee, I thought you wanted disco strings (which I totally hear BTW)...now PSB? Which is it?

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Just listened in the car with an aux mp3 player that pumps up the highs. It sounded great which typically tells me with my mixes that a simple high shelf can probably get the EQ squared away. Hearing it a little more clearly also solidified the feeling that some guitar support (acoustic and electric) could make a big difference, much more than touching up a piano track that doesn't sound to me like it needs any fixing.

 

A couple other bits that I forgot about before:

 

* You repeatedly drop the harmonies off on "yesterday" which is cool, but it might be worth actually doing it the first two times around in the last chorus.

 

* The echo in the bridge might be tad overdone.. though I LOVE how it morphs into some weird synth effect as it fades when the verse returns at the end.

 

* "Coy" started rubbing me the wrong way for some reason.

 

* I think it might be worth dropping the extra tom hit on "leaving us" in the chorus. The slight change could make it feel less like a loop and that strike feels more distracting that supporting.

 

Take whatever you want from this, Martin. You clearly know what you are doing. :)

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Just listened in the car with an aux mp3 player that pumps up the highs. It sounded great which typically tells me with my mixes that a simple high shelf can probably get the EQ squared away. Hearing it a little more clearly also solidified the feeling that some guitar support (acoustic and electric) could make a big difference, much more than touching up a piano track that doesn't sound to me like it needs any fixing.

 

A couple other bits that I forgot about before:

 

* You repeatedly drop the harmonies off on "yesterday" which is cool, but it might be worth actually doing it the first two times around in the last chorus.

 

* The echo in the bridge might be tad overdone.. though I LOVE how it morphs into some weird synth effect as it fades when the verse returns at the end.

 

* "Coy" started rubbing me the wrong way for some reason.

 

* I think it might be worth dropping the extra tom hit on "leaving us" in the chorus. The slight change could make it feel less like a loop and that strike feels more distracting that supporting.

 

Take whatever you want from this, Martin. You clearly know what you are doing. :)

 

Nice...these are all sound. The second to last "yesterday" in the track has the high falsetto but it's mixed too low (didn't record a harmony for that word anywhere). Yeah, need to adjust or ride the echo...I was lazy and just left it on the whole time but ducked the vocal. Happy to replace 'coy,' just want a word with teeth (a hard consonant). I actually thought the same about the extra snare on the chorus - this was part laziness and part not wanting to do too much work on the drums at all on principle...it was kind of *supposed* to be a dumb loop - but you're right, it calls attention to itself.

 

Great stuff, thanks.

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I've still been listening to this regularly and I can say without qualm that this is one of my favorite 100 songs of all time. My daughter and I were singing it this morning and while she was doing it in jest to mock me, it was telling that she recalled the entire melody - and much of the lyric - from "humbling politeness" all the way through the first chorus by memory despite having only heard it 2-3 times before.

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I've still been listening to this regularly and I can say without qualm that this is one of my favorite 100 songs of all time. My daughter and I were singing it this morning and while she was doing it in jest to mock me, it was telling that she recalled the entire melody - and much of the lyric - from "humbling politeness" all the way through the first chorus by memory despite having only heard it 2-3 times before.

Well, crap, Justin, that's humbling. Now I feel bad, let me at least get you an updated, better mix. I don't know how you can even hear "humbling politeness." Can add some acoustics and bass, too - whatever makes it rock harder for you, ha.

 

Wait, you play guitar - do you have any ideas?...the chords are super basic, mostly m7 and maj7 chords. Happy to collab.

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