O/T: The Pursuit of Happiness ( or On Topic ?)

[GregCh]

How we put on a happy face. What science says about the illusory pursuit of contentment

 

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/07/17/RVGBDDKN7B1.DTL&type=books

Reviewed by Elizabeth Svoboda

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Happiness

 

The Science Behind Your Smile

 

By Daniel Nettle

 

OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS; 216 PAGES; $21

Oprah, your mother and door-to-door Mormon missionaries all have their own ideas about what constitutes a happy life -- and they'll be more than happy to bestow their wisdom on you, if you'll sit for a spell. But perhaps the definitive word on happiness belongs to Abd-Er Rahman III, a 10th century Muslim governor of Spain. "I have now reigned about fifty years in victory or peace. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call," he wrote in his memoirs. "I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot. They amount to fourteen."

 

More than a millennium later, biological psychologist Daniel Nettle has written a book that expands on the Spanish leader's observation and provides a scholarly explanation for it. Its glib, pop-psych title belies a provocative argument: Our unending quests for life's big and little perks -- a new iPod, a tenured professorship, or, in Rahman's case, an unsullied decades long reign -- have little or no impact on our happiness. There is a fundamental disconnect, Nettle says, between what we desire and what actually fulfills us. "Evolution hasn't set us up for the attainment of happiness, merely its pursuit," he writes.

 

From a biological perspective, this makes sense. Our ancestors evolved in an environment where resources were scarce and high status was reserved for a few powerful alphas. Those who survived to beget future generations did so on the strength of perpetual dissatisfaction with their lot, which led them to strive compulsively for more -- just as we continue to strive for the chief executive post or the sleek Lexus, regardless of what we've already attained. Existence, Nettle seems to be saying, is one big Whack-a-Mole game; as soon as we squarely nail one task that seems to promise happiness, another will inevitably pop up. In psychological studies, people often envision unrealistically large increases in happiness once they achieve something sought after, but these increases almost never actually occur.

 

The implications of Nettle's thesis are disturbing. If the things we think will satisfy us do not do so, what are we but intrinsically irrational beings with no hope for finding happiness at all? (For proof, witness the miserable drone who spends 80 hours a week at the office, convinced that fulfillment is just over the horizon of the next promotion.) Perhaps the philosopher Immanuel Kant was onto something when he wrote that happiness was a construct of the imagination, not of reason.

 

Indeed, other research the book cites suggests Kant's statement contains more truth than he could have known. While we tend to consider our level of contentment an objective byproduct of the things that happen to us, Nettle points to study results reinforcing the idea that happiness is as subjective and shape-shifting as a mirage. "Where we think we are in the pile can be a powerful determinant of how we feel about life," he writes. The majority of people, for instance, profess to prefer making $50,000 in a world where everyone else earns $25,000 than making $100,000 when others earn $250,000.

 

Echoing "positive psychology" guru Martin Seligman, Nettle speculates that this relativistic, pecking-order mind-set may also be to blame for rising rates of depression. When we compare ourselves with people all over the world (as opposed to just members of the immediate community, as our ancestors did), we have hundreds of millions more opportunities to come up short in the happiness column: "Through books, magazines and television, we are exposed to the most beautiful, most talented, and most successful people from a global population of 6 billion."

 

And in happiness, as in just about every other area, the Lake Wobegon effect -- that epitome of irrationality -- is much in evidence. When middle-aged study subjects were asked to assess their satisfaction with life on a scale of 1 to 10, more than 90 percent chose 5 or above, with the average response hovering around 8.

 

These results, Nettle believes, reflect both people's need to feel that they're above the norm and their evolution-driven sense that things can always improve just a little. "Whatever the circumstances, there should be a small, nagging gap between our present contentment and a conceivably possible super- contentment," he writes. "Into this vital chink swarm peddlers of nostalgia, spiritual systems, drugs, and all kinds of consumer goods."

 

Most of Nettle's book is devoted to assailing popular myths about happiness -- that it results from getting things we want, that it is the objective product of our experiences and that it's something we can feel we've completely attained. But near the end, as if to compensate for reducing these assumptions to ashes, he presents an unexpected phoenix: Understanding the irrational characteristics of happiness makes it easier to manipulate ourselves into being happy.

 

Once we know that wanting does not necessarily lead to liking, Nettle advises, we can remind ourselves to do things studies have proved increase our overall happiness, such as seeing friends, spending time with family and visiting new places. While not the activities our built-in wanting mechanisms might suggest to us, they pay untold dividends in long-term contentment.

 

Evolution may have tricked us into maximizing our fitness rather than our happiness, but we can mount a powerful counterattack.

[Sleepin' Deeper]

Very interesting topic. It begs the question:

 

Who is happier/est?

 

The film star in Beverly Hills, with 5 cars, a jacuzzi on the patio and total financial security.

 

The monk in Tibet who's days consist of nothing more than meditation, maintaining a garden and eating yoghurt.

 

The west-African fisherman who spends the morning fishing, the afternoon selling the fish, and the evening smoking weed on the beach.

 

The 9-5 office rat who spends his days watching TV on the couch after work and parties at week-ends.

 

Etc etc ad infinitum....

 

Personally, I think happiness is unachievable. It is so hard to set frames and yardsticks and quantify happiness. This makes it impossible to measure when "happiness" has been reached. I think "being content" is a better measure.

 

How much time do you spend:

 

stressing and worrying?

being angry?

being depressed?

smiling and laughing?

enjoying yourself and others?

being hunrgy or thirsty?

 

I guess we could reach a quantifiable figure if we divided the above (and more) into slots of lesser or greater "contentment factors", added up all those hours and measured their respective sizes. If you are spending more time doing greater contement activities, I guess you could say you are content.

 

However, the above is probably crap because to be truly content (happy) a human must stop wanting. Being content shouldn't require anything other than being happy with what you need. Wanting is often a snowball. It grows -> greed, envy etc etc...

 

As humans, not wanting is almost like there being dogs but no fire hydrants to piss on.

 

I can say that I'm very content with my life, but I'm not necessarily content with myself all the time. Being content with yourself has no relation to where you are (Greenland vs. the Bahamas), how much money you have (the filthy rich guy with a 2 inch, impotent cock) or what you believe in (hindu vs. christian vs buddhist etc). It's a whole other ball game.

[Pilot]

That old song, Nature Boy, summed it up nicely, and I quote:

 

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn

Is just to love and be loved in return"

 

That's what does it for me - 35 years of happy marriage. The rest is just a bonus.

 

Bryan

[Outkaster]

 

Originally posted by Pilot That old song, Nature Boy, summed it up nicely, and I quote: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn Is just to love and be loved in return" That's what does it for me - 35 years of happy marriage. The rest is just a bonus. Bryan

 

Kind of a good quote. I know I have been figuring things this past year.