Members Jaymeister Posted March 13, 2007 Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 I am going to start a new comapny that specializes in pedal board relic'ing. My target market will be those anal retentive giggers and bedroom wanker/pedal collectors who need to break out of their unhealthy reclusive obsessive compulsive lifestyles to become faux "beat to crap gear whore's of the world". I will take your "pristine" effects boards with pedals and return them to you soaked in the alcoholic beverage of your choice (mixed "girlie drinks" available for an extra charge). I will carefully sprinkle each pedal with ashes and dust only from the finest dingy bars and stages in North America. Feel free to identify the plastic knobs on each pedal you would like me to pull or partially break off. I will indiscriminantly label effects with sharpie pens to give that "I can't remember my settings" vibe, and I can also judiciously make use of duck tape wher desired. I employ the latest technology, and have at my disposal the following "tools": 1. Large duffle bag filled with cables and other heavy objects toss pretty pedals into and mar and scratch things up. 2. Dremel tool for engraving numbers and stuff, so nobody will dare steal you rig, if you ever take it out. 3. Sandpaper of varuious grits for scraping paint of and general wear. 4. Large well stocked liquor cabinet..for those "spills" that gigging players all love to have. 5. A pair of size 13 workboots to really work in those switches 6. A friend who can't hold her liquor very well...ugh I guarantee 129% satisfaction! Every nook and cranny of your board will appear as though it has been through a National Tour without the support of a road tech! Never again will members of internet forums ever accuse you of being that non-gigging, no talent, bedroom wanker. You will be considered the pro musician of the world that you truly aspire to be. Feel free to email me for quotes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ollenorin Posted March 13, 2007 Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 IM IN !!!!! dirty crap on gear is so KEWL !!!! it means that yr soooo gigging and rocking out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fernmeister Posted March 13, 2007 Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members booher Posted March 13, 2007 Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 I don't see what this does but decrease the apparent value of a pedal to potential buyers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jaymeister Posted March 13, 2007 Author Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 I don't see what this does but decrease the apparent value of a pedal to potential buyers. Yes...but you will receive the ultimate adulation from your peers and chicks will dig it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fulltruth Posted March 13, 2007 Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 finally i can legitimize myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members analogmike Posted March 13, 2007 Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 brand new ts9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jonny guitar Posted March 13, 2007 Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 1. Large duffle bag filled with cables and other heavy objects toss pretty pedals into and mar and scratch things up. be sure to throw in a nice sharp cornered 70's vintage small stone phaser to really gouge things up...did wonders for aging my Supertonebender back in the day with lots of little scrapes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members slc_dan Posted March 13, 2007 Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fatbackribs Posted March 13, 2007 Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 Come now. The real market is in vinyl "distressed" decals of cracks, dings, and paint chips. You can put them on the pedals before you gig so you can keep your tough, devil may care attitude when folks see you live. Back home you can remove the fake relic decals and once again covet your precious boxes in all of their pristine glory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kevinsaari Posted March 13, 2007 Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 The real market is in vinyl "distressed" decals of cracks, dings, and paint chips. You can put them on the pedals before you gig so you can keep your tough, devil may care attitude when folks see you live. Back home you can remove the fake relic decals and once again covet your precious boxes in all of their pristine glory. I think you're on to something here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jaymeister Posted March 13, 2007 Author Members Share Posted March 13, 2007 I think you're on to something here! The purists would hate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 4Kenoath Posted March 14, 2007 Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 Yes...but you will receive the ultimate adulation from your peers and chicks will dig it! ...and MotoChimp will find love at last... ...better not offer this service a TGP...you'll get run out of town. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bt2513 Posted March 14, 2007 Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 Come now. The real market is in vinyl "distressed" decals of cracks, dings, and paint chips. You can put them on the pedals before you gig so you can keep your tough, devil may care attitude when folks see you live. Back home you can remove the fake relic decals and once again covet your precious boxes in all of their pristine glory. We would have to come up with a way to identify the fake un-relic'd pedals on eBay. People would surely use the decals to deceive the buyers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jaymeister Posted March 14, 2007 Author Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 ...and MotoChimp will find love at last... ...better not offer this service a TGP...you'll get run out of town. I think I'll go post it in the dealer emporium. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members paydirt Posted March 14, 2007 Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 I just throw mine in the clothes dryer for a couple of cycles, seems to do the job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FranklinD Posted March 14, 2007 Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 I'll do it for free. There is a long wait though. Send your pedals in now and I can get them back to you by 2008 or 2009....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 4Kenoath Posted March 14, 2007 Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 I just throw mine in the clothes dryer for a couple of cycles, seems to do the job. Hehe... ...all the experts will tell you that unless you pay lots of money to a professional relic master, then your pedal will lack mojo. For example, I'm thinking of starting a niche relicing business aimed soley at Zvex pedals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members paydirt Posted March 14, 2007 Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 Hehe... ...all the experts will tell you that unless you pay lots of money to a professional relic master, then your pedal will lack mojo. For example, I'm thinking of starting a niche relicing business aimed soley at Zvex pedals. Damn, That's why my pedals sound like crap. I guess it's best to leave it to the pros. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 4Kenoath Posted March 14, 2007 Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 Damn, That's why my pedals sound like crap. I guess it's best to leave it to the pros. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brett Valentine Posted March 14, 2007 Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 brand new ts9 Oh yeah! I'm in! Gunk 'em up for me!!! My board needs some juju to give it mojo! Brett Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GraphicFuzz Posted March 14, 2007 Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 I love the rusted nut on the output jack. Nice attention to detail! EH has been hip to this concept for years. Just looking at those things scratches the paint off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dan-o-guitar Posted March 14, 2007 Members Share Posted March 14, 2007 I'm pretty sure Robopimp would take a vintage crap on your pedal for just the cost of shipping. Maybe some stiff competition there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jaymeister Posted August 26, 2007 Author Members Share Posted August 26, 2007 bump for the banned pimp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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