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How to NOT be an asshole


FWAxeIbanez

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I need some help here... I'm trying desperately not to be an ass to my girlfriend, but this is a complicated situation...

 

Her birthday is on the 9th and it started out as something me, her sister, and a couple of her good friends were gonna do. We were all gonna go to a bar since she's turning 21 and do Karaoke afterwards because she gets a kick out of that sort of thing...

 

Then she found out about some transvestite show going on downtown and for some reason that sounds like fun to her... I'm willing to sit through karaoke but I don't plan on spending my hard earned money watching that garbage, so we worked it out where I have something to do with the rest of the "others", and although its not my idea of fun either, its infinitely preferable to Jeffery Starr...

 

Now here's where it gets bad... I guess a couple nights ago one of her friends from like two years ago gets a hold of her and somehow they are all buddy buddy again and this girl is gonna show up to bar and karaoke portion of the night... This girl is the most two faced person I think I've possibly ever met. She was directly responsible for me and my girlfriends first break up, because she was constantly running her mouth about how much she didn't like me... meanwhile she would call me and ask for relationship advice and for favors and this and that. I was cool with her because I thought she liked me and was supportive of my relationship with my girlfriend...

 

I forget the exact details because I wasn't part of my girlfriends life at the time, but she basically had my girlfriend excommunicated from thier old circle of friends by starting rumors and {censored} all because of a guy she was dating...

 

I have enjoyed not having this bitch involved in my life for the last two years I've been with my girl... whenever this girl used to come around it was like I was back in high school or something, the maturity level goes straight to hell when she's nearby and I can't stand it.

 

How do I get out of this? This is my girlfriends birthday party, and I'm not the type of guy to tell her who she can or can't be around. Is there a possible way I can bow out of this without ruining it for her? You think I can get away with saying me and her can have our own personal birthday party and doing the romantic date thing? I seriously don't think I can be around her "friend" without wanting to snap her neck or scream at her. Its not just me either, my girlfriend's sister and her best friend have big issues with this girl as well... I really can't understand how she weasled her way back in, but she did, so do you guys have any idea of how I can weasle out!?

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tell your gf you hate her friend.

be honest! tell her friend you hate her too. :)

i have no time for people that are 'fake'. i either ignore them or take the piss out of them


if you get dragged out just be really crude and arrogant to her friend...she'll probably like you then!

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Originally posted by FWAxeIbanez

I need some help here... I'm trying desperately not to be an ass to my girlfriend, but this is a complicated situation...


Her birthday is on the 9th and it started out as something me, her sister, and a couple of her good friends were gonna do. We were all gonna go to a bar since she's turning 21 and do Karaoke afterwards because she gets a kick out of that sort of thing...


Then she found out about some transvestite show going on downtown and for some reason that sounds like fun to her... I'm willing to sit through karaoke but I don't plan on spending my hard earned money watching that garbage, so we worked it out where I have something to do with the rest of the "others", and although its not my idea of fun either, its infinitely preferable to Jeffery Starr...


Now here's where it gets bad... I guess a couple nights ago one of her friends from like two years ago gets a hold of her and somehow they are all buddy buddy again and this girl is gonna show up to bar and karaoke portion of the night... This girl is the most two faced person I think I've possibly ever met. She was directly responsible for me and my girlfriends first break up, because she was constantly running her mouth about how much she didn't like me... meanwhile she would call me and ask for relationship advice and for favors and this and that. I was cool with her because I thought she liked me and was supportive of my relationship with my girlfriend...


I forget the exact details because I wasn't part of my girlfriends life at the time, but she basically had my girlfriend excommunicated from thier old circle of friends by starting rumors and {censored} all because of a guy she was dating...


I have enjoyed not having this bitch involved in my life for the last two years I've been with my girl... whenever this girl used to come around it was like I was back in high school or something, the maturity level goes straight to hell when she's nearby and I can't stand it.


How do I get out of this? This is my girlfriends birthday party, and I'm not the type of guy to tell her who she can or can't be around. Is there a possible way I can bow out of this without ruining it for her? You think I can get away with saying me and her can have our own personal birthday party and doing the romantic date thing? I seriously don't think I can be around her "friend" without wanting to snap her neck or scream at her. Its not just me either, my girlfriend's sister and her best friend have big issues with this girl as well... I really can't understand how she weasled her way back in, but she did, so do you guys have any idea of how I can weasle out!?

 

 

Ugh, situations like this suck balls.

 

I don't know your girlfriend personally, so I can't really say one way or another as I have no idea how she reacts to certain situations.

 

I'd say just deal with it. This day is only going to be here once in her lifetime. Suck it up and quit being a {censored}ing {censored}.

 

I'd rather BE there so I can keep her from opening her {censored}ing mouth.

 

If you don't show up, she has the floor and I'm sure she'll use it to her advantage.

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How you can weesel out? hmm.


Why dont you tell your GF EXACTLY what you just told us. . .that she's a two faced lousy piece of {censored}. (say it with a smile, that way its less asshole-ish :D and more just "being brutally honest")

See what that does. . .if that doesnt change anything, just give her friend the wrong directions to the show. :thu: :thu:

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Your going to have to be honest sooner or later. If you comprimise now you wil have to lay down and comprimise forever. If she cares about you as much as you care about her then things will work out. If not then personally i would rather be alone than miserable.

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Originally posted by hatata

Your going to have to be honest sooner or later. If you comprimise now you wil have to lay down and comprimise forever. If she cares about you as much as you care about her then things will work out. If not then personally i would rather be alone than miserable.



Oh yeah, if you come out about it later, she'll be like


"Well, you guys seemed cool enough at my birthday?! :freak:

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I would:
a) go to the transvestite thing too, be there for your girl, MAN.

b) observe this old problem friend and see what your girl does. Whatever unfolds is meant to happen. If your girl gravitates back to this person, let her walk away. What if this bad old friend has changed. We don't know that yet now DO WE ? ;)

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She knows I can't stand her... infact the conversation where she told me she was coming started with "I have some bad news..."

I'm not the type of guy to hide things... I really don't dislike many people, but the people whom I do dislike ALWAYS know exactly how I feel... I feel like integrity is one of the most important things a person can have and have worked hard to establish my own.

The only thing my girlfriend doesn't know is that I'm considering not going.

Whats worse? me not being there? or me cussing the {censored}ing {censored} out of this bitch publicly? I have nothing to say to her, and nothing she can say to me would have an ounce of weight to me. This bitch had guys over and was trying to hook my girl up DURING our relationship and the very day we originally broke up...

I want my girl to have a good time. And I'm not going to stand in the way of her friends, especially not people she knew before me, but I can't see a positive outcome with both of us in the same room.

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I was going to play designated driver. If I do indeed end up participating, would I be better off being sober and listening to this drunk bitch? or getting just as drunk?

niether one sounds fun... this whole {censored}ing thing is gonna be about as fun as a root canal. I'm a good sport, and I know when things are not about me, and that it shouldn't revolve around me, but I can't see this working out well at all...

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Believe me . . . you should stay sober and as polite as you can possibly. The {censored} would love nothing more than for you to cause a scene and do a meltdown right there in front of everyone on the special day of someone you genuinely care for. DON'T DO IT!;)

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Originally posted by Thunnar

Stand your ground, Bud.
:mad:
Go to the party, have fun, be civil to the {censored}, and don't screw up your GF's b-day . . . if you can possibly avoid it.



I'm thinking about going and ignoring her completely, then at her first attempt at conversation saying something like "Look, we don't like each other, so lets not pretend, don't talk to me and you can bet I'll ignore you as well. Its about Nichole tonight and we can have our go around some other time ok?"

its not gonna be a real large crowd, probably like 5-6 people, so something is going to require our direct communication somewhere down the line.

I swear to god tho, if I'm gonna be uncomfortable all night, I'm not gonna be the only one...

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Originally posted by mistersully

be a man


go.. if the friend starts up... shut her down


being there for your girl doesn't mean you have to put up with bull{censored}

 

 

If this wasn't her birthday this would be an entirely different discussion. But I don't want to drive this sack of {censored} to suicide on my girl's birthday. Otherwise I wouldn't mind making this girl {censored} her pants.

 

I can count the people I dislike on one hand, and this bitch counts as two fingers

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Originally posted by Thunnar

Believe me . . . you should stay sober and as polite as you can possibly. The {censored} would love nothing more than for you to cause a scene and do a meltdown right there in front of everyone on the special day of someone you genuinely care for. DON'T DO IT!
;)



+1

just see it as a Test

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Originally posted by Thunnar

I have a feeling that you're gonna get into it with this bitch no matter what anyone says . . . am I right?
:rolleyes:



Well, I'm gonna go, but just because she said some magic words to my girl and made everything ok between them, doesn't mean everything is cool between me and her.

I think I'm gonna tell my girlfriend to give her a heads up not to talk to me.

Hell, there's some time between now and the 9th, maybe that will make her want to talk to me beforehand "to clear it all up" or something, and we can get this {censored} out of the way prior to the party... That would be ideal.

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Originally posted by FWAxeIbanez



If this wasn't her birthday this would be an entirely different discussion. But I don't want to drive this sack of {censored} to suicide on my girl's birthday. Otherwise I wouldn't mind making this girl {censored} her pants.


I can count the people I dislike on one hand, and this bitch counts as two fingers

 

 

mate.. it's pretty simple

 

when i said shut her down.. i don't mean make a fool of yourself.. just let her know she's out of line.. and it's not on.. firmly.. but without a scene

 

if she causes {censored} with you on your girl's birthday.. she doesn't have your girl's best interests at heart.. and needs to be pulled into line

 

ALL my wife's friends and family know i won't be disrespected.. and i won't allow my wife to be disrespected.. no matter what the occasion

 

be cool... but be a man

 

enjoy

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Apparently your GF willingly puts you in this situation ( I'm afraid I have bad news...) so she should be prepared to take the consequences whatever they may be.
I personally would take her to a private BD party we'd both could enjoy and leave the girls to have "their"party.

Giga.

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thanks guys... This girl probably isn't going to go out of her way to start {censored}. now that I think about it, the only time she'd ever even get lippy with me was over the phone or over the internet, she was never anything but sweet and smiley to me in person.

and if she does start it up, I will be the one to finish it and it will be deserved.

I was making it more complicated than it needed to be by stewing over it all day at work, I think.

I appreciate you guys for putting me into perspective.

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Originally posted by Alanfc

I would:

a) go to the transvestite thing too, be there for your girl, MAN.


b) observe this old problem friend and see what your girl does. Whatever unfolds is meant to happen. If your girl gravitates back to this person, let her walk away. What if this bad old friend has changed. We don't know that yet now DO WE ?
;)



Be there, have fun, look and act like a gentleman. Just leave the other girl alone or at least treat her well. If she says something bad about you, live with it. Your girlfriend will be watching and seeing how you respond.

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"listen chick. I hate that bitch. She will NOT be involved in our adventure for that special day. 21.. the day you become and adult AGAIN with adult privileges courtesy of M.A.A.D and the pushoever men who pandered to their bull{censored} robbing us of our 18adulthood drinking rights that nobody else in the world has lost"

"but...."
"ahhh!!!!!!!!"

"but but........."
"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"but but...."

"aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Part of compatibility is sharing your enemies. An enemy of yours is to be an enemy of hers (and vice versa) or you will end up like Al Bundy having to see Marcy Darcy every day.

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