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Is this a good line? (short)


aepoc

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No. It is not a good line.

But I am outvoted so far.

 

First of all, the subject and verb don't agree.

It should be: "Every GIRL lies..." not 'girls lies'.

 

Second: "around and around we go" is overused

and tired long past the boundries of clichedom.

 

"Love is suicide" is good though. I haven't heard

that before.

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Originally posted by marcellis

No. It is not a good line.

But I am outvoted so far.


First of all, the subject and verb don't agree.

It should be: "Every GIRL lies..." not 'girls lies'.


Second: "around and around we go" is overused

and tired long past the boundries of clichedom.


"Love is suicide" is good though. I haven't heard

that before.

 

 

I agree with your first 2 points. But come on "Love is suicide" that is old as well. Listen to some Smashing Pumpkins songs.

 

WiNSTON

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Originally posted by ebowist

Don't use "love is suicide", thats a direct rip from the chorus of "bodies" by the smashing pumpkins.

 

 

Exactly. Although you may not know the lyrics to the song, aepoc, alot of other people will acuse you of stealing the line.

My advice would be just to alter it somewhat, find synonyms for suicide, or something like that.

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Originally posted by richtor

Other lines to avoid:


"love is a battlefield"

"love is a bitch"

"l'amour est bleu"

"love stinks"

"love is all around us"

"love love love all we need is love"

"I'm tired of love"

"Liebe stieg wie ein rotes ist"


:D
:D
:D

 

Don't forget "what is love..." :)

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I was tired when I wrote the line in the thread. I'm usually very good at grammar (though I'm tired now too, so gimme a break).

 

I knew Billy Corgan would {censored} me up! :mad:

 

I've since changed it:

 

"everybody lies and love is suicide

so around and around we go

nevermind the signs you feel inside

you gotta just let it go"

 

I will work on the "love is suicide" part. Any suggestions?

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