Members DaSpider Posted July 15, 2007 Members Share Posted July 15, 2007 A new song called Save Me. It's about paranoia, depression, abandonment, etc. It's probably the heaviest thing I've done in this batch. It's taken me about 6 weeks to find the right sound for this. It started as an acoustic song (like most of what I've been doing lately) but it didn't sound right. Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions, I'd appreciate it. In particular, are the fret noises distracting or add to the atmosphere of the song? Also, there's a part where I'm screaming... does it work, should I give it a couple of more takes or scrap it altogether? Save Me Thanks guys,Neall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted July 15, 2007 Members Share Posted July 15, 2007 This song sounds very well glued together... the music seems to fit the lyrics (that I followed -- as always, if someone wants detailed comment on lyrics, I think it's helpful to post or link to them)... there's a good sense of foreboding and free-floating angst. The instruments and singing serve the song and its theme very well, seems to me. The production is mostly very assured and the craft is high. The production and style is reminiscent of the dark side of what's come to be called power pop (think Code Blue or some of the other serious-minded folk from that era or some of the similar folks from the resurgence in the early 90s). If I had any quibbles, it would be the EQ on the bass (on my rig it comes off as not quite right in the upper bass range, maybe a little overprominent in the mix) and the EQ/treatment of the drum machine, which seems a bit thin and over-bright. But a very well-done, together track. It wouldn't be hard to imagine it on the radio -- though it might be a little out of step with the current rock offerings, stylewise. (Fine with me, mine you. ) Still, its classic sound should have a continuing appeal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members eeglug Posted July 15, 2007 Members Share Posted July 15, 2007 I'm going to use dreaded bullet points for this LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DaSpider Posted July 15, 2007 Author Members Share Posted July 15, 2007 Thanks Blue2Blue and eeglug. I really debated on mentioning the squeaks and see if someone noticed them. But I had to ask... The bass is a bit too prominent and I struggled with finding a good place for it to fit EQ-wise. I'll go back and fiddle with it. The drums EQ have been my bane lately. I'll have to keep at it. eeglug, good idea with an acoustic solo. I debated on the two bridges (vocals then guitar solo) and couldn't make up my mind. So I left them both in! Makes it a bit long though... so who knows. Thanks! Neall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Eclepto Funk Posted July 16, 2007 Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 that song is very well executed (well, every song i've heard by you is well executed). it has an 80's Red Rider feel to it ... i would change very little about the song. i bet it will please more people than not as to the squeaks ... hmmm.... well, they do stand out, but i didn't find them too annoying oh, one thing i forgot to mention ... you might want to reconsider the title to avoid confusion with Shinedown's "Save Me" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stoneball Jack Posted July 16, 2007 Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 I liked the song and think it has potential to be really good. These are somet hings i noticed that could be better ---more energy in the voice. Also you might have the voice sound "lazy" on purpose but i think it would sound better if you shaped some of the vowels a little different. --make the bridge thing more intense, maybe by changing the drum partern to make it more active. --fret noise is annoying and definately gets the listeners attention hope this helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stoneball Jack Posted July 16, 2007 Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 oh, one thing i forgot to mention ... you might want to reconsider the title to avoid confusion with Shinedown's "Save Me" +1 dave matthews band and remy zero both have songs titled save me as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DaSpider Posted July 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 Also you might have the voice sound "lazy" on purpose but i think it would sound better if you shaped some of the vowels a little different. No, I'm lazy. I'm not sure what you mean about shaping the vowels though... Thanks for the comments! Neall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stoneball Jack Posted July 16, 2007 Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 No, I'm lazy. I'm not sure what you mean about shaping the vowels though... Thanks for the comments! Neall I think maybe if you used better diction it would fix it. It just kind of sounds like the words are falling out of you mouth instead of you putting force and purpose behind the words. My brother said it sounds like you just came back from the dentist and you mouth is still numb:) hope that helps a bit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DaSpider Posted July 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 Thanks. Enunciation is something that I'm always struggling with... I know the words to the song and I just assume that you understand what I'm singing. It's always a bad assumption and something I need to work on! Neall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Eclepto Funk Posted July 16, 2007 Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 Los Paranoias? that is so weird you would say that ... how about Joe Praerie and the Praerie Wallflowers? hmmm... during the bridge, there are a couple of lines that seem promising as titles, but i can barely make them out i think one says "there are things I can not hide," so i think "Things I Cannot Hide" would make a good title Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Eclepto Funk Posted July 16, 2007 Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 +1 dave matthews band and remy zero both have songs titled save me as well. ooh... i forgot about dave matthews need to look up the remy zero song; i've never heard it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stoneball Jack Posted July 16, 2007 Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 ooh... i forgot about dave matthewsneed to look up the remy zero song; i've never heard it yeah, it's actually pretty good, i like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members samkristy2 Posted July 16, 2007 Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 I thought it was a decent song.The production was pretty good, very listenable, I could understand all the words which is a biggie for me. I thought you sang it well and liked the verb on your voice. At first the squeaks bothered me a little, maybe cuz you pointed them out in your post, but after a while they seemed to take on a "Flock of Seagulls" vibe and I didn't mind them. I think the chorus would stand out more if you used a short prechorus line right before it with quieter dynamics, ie. I didn't like the transition from verse to chorus. Wasn't bad, but could be better, imo. Would have liked to hear some guitar fills in the chorus between the vocals, not just noodling either, but actual hum along in your head guitar parts. I also liked the tone of the bass guitar but felt you could have given it more life with some more interesting bass parts. To me this song became a little monotonous and that I think would have spiced it up. Just my 2 cents. sam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DaSpider Posted July 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted July 16, 2007 Thanks for listening and the comments Sam! Neall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Patient Dreams Posted July 17, 2007 Members Share Posted July 17, 2007 Nice song. Good sound, but I think lacking some dynamics. Something I hear all the time. I agree with sam on the chorus. The song become's repetious or at least feeling. Some song work like that with the right lyrics. Maybe just step the drums up, add a riff here and there. Other than that its a good song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DaSpider Posted July 17, 2007 Author Members Share Posted July 17, 2007 Thanks Patient Dreams! Cool name btw... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Floophead3 Posted July 17, 2007 Members Share Posted July 17, 2007 I think with the bridge/solo you have currently, I'm getting half of the picture. I feel that there's another half hidden from me. I'd really like to hear that guitar solo lead to a completely different harmony. Key change or new mode? I'm not sure what to do specifically, but definetely something that really separates it from the rest of the song. Additionally, I'd like to hear that bridge part reoccur at the end mixed into the chorus in some way. My 2 cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted July 17, 2007 Members Share Posted July 17, 2007 I like the verse and the chorus. I think I mentioned Nirvana in a previous comment - it still holds. The fuzzy guitar on the verse should be tighter to the end of the lyrics/bass riff - start the riff a bar earlier. +1 on the dynamics comment. The key to the Nirvana production is big swings in dynamics - ditch the acoustic guitars in the chorus and add a big, crunchy electric riff to go along with some screaming over "How can you save me from myself?". Cut the bridge and cut or rewrite the outro solo. And yeah, the string squeak is there. Not a big deal. There is an exercise/example in one of my Pro Tools books which describes how to remove a string squeak with EQ - the squeak is usually in a narrow frequency range that is not shared by many other sounds - isolate the section with the squeak, keep going over it with a 1-band EQ until you find the frequency and then print and splice the EQed section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DaSpider Posted July 17, 2007 Author Members Share Posted July 17, 2007 Thanks Floophead3 and rsadasiv! ...Nirvana... Yeah, this started as an acoustic number but as it started taking shape I kept thinking of Nirvana. Even the lyrics sound like "Kurt's Final Hours"... maybe "Final Hours" should be the title. Here's another take at trying some different things: Save Me v1.1 I didn't make any lyrical or major structural changes yet. Mostly playing with the dynamics in the bridge and solo. Also minimized the squeak by tweaking the EQ (thanks rsadasiv ) and overlaying another guitar. I also faded it out 8 bars earlier since some were saying it's too long. I could also cut the solo in half, but I like it... Is this heading in the right direction? Thanks everybody! Neall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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