Rittenhouse Square

[DaSpider]

This is a Beatle / music hall style song about everyday life in a city park throughout the year (Rittenhouse Square is in Philadelphia). Think Penny Lane / Martha My Dear...

 

It's something different for me (I never tried to write in this style), so I'm curious if it works. I know it might not be your cup of tea, but any comments or suggestions would be appreciated!

 

Thanks!

Neall

 

Rittenhouse Square

 

Winter just seems to last a lifetime

The Square turns cold and dark, but there's life

You and I bundled up warm and tight

Cause we know

Where to meet tonight

 

So come on baby

I'll meet you there

in Rittenhourse Square

 

Spring seems to burst its way through the ground

The birds start to come on back around

Old men find their place on the park bench

Cause they know

Soon their eyes will dance with delights

 

Chorus

 

Summer here gets all hot and humid

The fountains get all filled up with kids

The parents sit and gossip with their friends

And why not?

Cause everything'll be alright

 

Chorus

 

All the buildings just stand in line

The wind makes the trees sway back and forth in time

And we know our love will last forever

Cause Rittenhouse Square's what brought us together

 

Fall signals it's time to stop the party

Cause the trees change their leaves once again

For you and I another year's gone by

And we know

Where to meet tonight

[rsadasiv]

Like it a lot. My favorite of your songs so far.

[attic]

Well done!

It's catchy, I like the lyrics, and I really dig the smokey voice.

The only thing that bothers me a bit is that cello part at the first chorus. It sounds strange, but that's just a small detail.

Good job.

[Chicken Monkey]

It's maybe a little too Beatlesque--I think I even hear a hint of a fake British accent in there.

 

It seems like you've got a V-C-V-C-Br.-C-Br.-V pattern, which is weird. The two bridges, one of which disrupts the lyric pattern (winter-spring-summer-fall), disorient me a little. If there was a regular verse between them, it might work a little better for me.

 

I do love the little instrumental lines you've got running throughout--cello, french horn, etc.

[DaSpider]

 

Well done! It's catchy, I like the lyrics, and I really dig the smokey voice. The only thing that bothers me a bit is that cello part at the first chorus. It sounds strange, but that's just a small detail. Good job.

 

 

Thanks attic! The cello part is something I've messed around with and finally gave up on.

 

Neall

[ido1957]

You got a lot of that Lennon sound in this one - cool......

 

The cello and french horns work well - definitely reminiscent of the old Beatles tunes.

 

Also reminds me of that old song - "I can't see me lovin' nobody but you for all my life"- whatever that was.....

 

Nice catchy, interesting tune..... Mix, if you need to know, is fabulous!

[eeglug]

There's a whole bunch of people who have a sound derived from this Beatles-y vein - XTC, Robyn Hitchcock, Martin Newell. Oh and let's not forget the Kinks who were probably influenced by the Beatles but were doing this kind of material almost concurrently. (Thematically your song has some similarity to "Waterloo Sunset".)

 

The song is great - I love it. I felt the bridge wasn't distinctive enough and maybe a bit too long - and that's probably cuz I was eager to hear the catchy stuff in your verse and chorus!

[DaSpider]

 

You got a lot of that Lennon sound in this one - cool...... The cello and french horns work well - definitely reminiscent of the old Beatles tunes. Also reminds me of that old song - "I can't see me lovin' nobody but you for all my life"- whatever that was..... Nice catchy, interesting tune..... Mix, if you need to know, is fabulous!

 

 

Thanks ido1957! I appreciate the comments!

[eeglug]

Daspider, you need to be Kink-ified. If you like doing songs like this, you must do yourself a favor and get Face To Face, Something Else, Village Green Preservation Society, Arthur and Lola vs Powerman and The Moneygoround. Your song fits directly into their aesthetic both musically and lyrically.

 

For now, check these out: Sunny Afternoon and Waterloo Sunset

[DaSpider]

 

Daspider, you need to be Kink-ified. If you like doing songs like this, you must do yourself a favor and get Face To Face , Something Else , Village Green Preservation Society , Arthur and Lola vs Powerman and The Moneygoround . Your song fits directly into their aesthetic both musically and lyrically. For now, check these out: Sunny Afternoon and Waterloo Sunset

 

 

Thanks man, I'll check it out. I know their more popular stuff, including Sunny Afternoon.

 

Neall

[rsadasiv]

Waterloo Sunset is my favorite Kinks song, but all of those albums are great. I prowled the K bins in used record stores for several years searching for Village Green Preservation Society - I finally did find that great lost Kinks disc, but not before acquiring an absolute loathing for the cover art on every single Kid Creole and the Coconuts album.

[DaSpider]

 

There's a whole bunch of people who have a sound derived from this Beatles-y vein - XTC, Robyn Hitchcock, Martin Newell. Oh and let's not forget the Kinks who were probably influenced by the Beatles but were doing this kind of material almost concurrently. (Thematically your song has some similarity to "Waterloo Sunset".) The song is great - I love it. I felt the bridge wasn't distinctive enough and maybe a bit too long - and that's probably cuz I was eager to hear the catchy stuff in your verse and chorus!

 

 

BTW, nice mention of Martin Newell too. I love the The Greatest Living Englishman! Not sure what he's been up to these days though... I haven't listened to that in years. I'll have to throw it on the iPod.

 

Neall