Breaking out of depression

[Croakus]

Removed. Content no longer relevant.

[RockViolin]

 

It's overwhelming

 

 

Those 2 words, say to me that you may want to consider rescheduling. Give yourself some time. Then again, it may be possible to use a hard deadline to haul yourself along.

 

Your perception of these events can take you several ways, but I believe you'd benefit from some time to reflect and tinker with your new business.

 

One way or the other...live.

[buckethead99]

Thats rough!My advice would to take some time and go smell the roses,Looks like you lost alot but look at what and who you have and try to look on the bright side of life.

Use your lose as a incentive and maybe dedicate your music to your lost loved ones...Just my 2 cents...Good luck.

[HeartfeltDawn]

I knew a painter-poet who suffered a great loss and she backed away from her art. Painting brought back the memories. Every brush stroke meant confronting the pain. She ran from her at rather than face the pain. She stills runs now and it makes me sad to know that because she is beatiful and talented.

 

The only way to go forward to to confront both the feelings and the art. I remember someone fairly famous going through a difficult time and they said that they wrote songs abotu their sadness. The songs weren't supposed to be good or end up on records. It was pure therapy for them, exercises designed to bring out the feelings. Maybe that could help you.

 

If you keep backing away from music, then you increase the level of loss in your life because of the loss of artistic expression. Music can be immensely cathartic. Between the age of 16 and 22, I was severely anorexic but music was the thing that stopped me toppling right over into even worse depths. Now it serves as a comforter, a nurturing device and a source of constant expression. if I'm in a bad mood then my fingertips will be sore from playign so hard. If I need to relax then I'll play somethign slowly, fingerpicking, anything to get me to slow down and concentrate on something calmer. It works.

 

From the pain can come beauty.

[blue2blue]

I'm kind of with HearfeltDawn here.

 

I won't weigh in on the particulars of your scheduling... sometimes we do need a little time.

 

But even from what you've said above, I'm already worried that you're backing away from something that will ultimately help you.

 

 

It's small consolation, I know, but back a little over twenty years ago, I went through a similar period where it seemed like almost every other person around me was struck by tragedy and ordeal. My own father and my mom's husband (a great guy) were both diagnosed with very serious cancers. (My dad died a few years later. My mom's husband survived by the thinnest of margins and had another 15+ years, which they made the most of.)

 

One of my best friends was intentionally run down by a purse-snatcher she'd been chasing -- breaking both her legs when he pinned her to a car with the van he was driving (she's fine now but it was really a long haul). Another friend ended up in the head injury ward for almost a year after a careless motorist nailed him on his motor scooter. He had to be "repatterned" -- taught how to talk and walk again. An incredible ordeal. (He does pretty well... considering.)

 

Another friend drove his car off a freeway, drunk, and wasn't found for a day. He never regained consciousness -- and his [crazy] parents didn't tell any of his friends when he was lingering in a coma. The parents also burned all his art -- which was an insane losse, since he was really a phenomenon. And, hell, there was a bunch of other stuff, too.

 

Myself, I was just getting over a motorcycle accident that put me in traction two months and kept me walking on a cane for five years. (Long story; bad doc. I lost two inches of length from walking on an undiagnosed-still-broken leg. I switched docs and he immediately figured out what was going on. ALWAYS get a second opinion. No, really. ALWAYS. I loved my old doc -- and he was a good surgeon -- but a rotten diagnostician. Get a second opinion.)

 

 

Anyhow, you get the drift... I felt like Job, standing, alone, unscathed, in the middle of fields of ruin thinking, Man... what gives?

 

And all I can really say in answer to that is that, sometimes, {censored} happens. And sometimes, a whole lot of {censored} happens, almost all at once.

 

Just like the book of Job says.

 

It's not for us to know why or apportion blame.

 

It's for us, the living, to go on about the job of living... it's tough enough, sometimes.

 

Good luck to you -- and pick up that guitar or sit down at that keyboard, pick up that sax, whatever.

 

Sometimes you really, really don't feel like doing something supposedly frivolous like playing music... but, you know, really, deep down, that there's nothing frivolous about making music.

 

Hang in there.

 

[jabney]

 

Every time I pickup my guitar I think about my father, my friends, the pain I've seen my wife and mother go through, and the girl I loved (and still do) who inspired so many songs over the years. It's overwhelming and I've started avoiding my studio. ... How the hell do I get a grip on this and get myself back to writing????

 

 

Croakus, perhaps avoiding the guitar for a while and writing on keys instead might help you. Or write lyrics first. Or collaborate with somebody. Do something if you can at all force yourself to do so. If the depression stays overwhelming, there is no shame in seeking help from people trained in dealing with depression. Maybe start with a grief counselor first, though.

 

best,

 

john

[realtree71]

I Smell a Deep Dark Awesome CD coming from it all..... use the pain and write it out of you! It might help you get rid or free it from you

[DrSpliff]

Everyone deals with pain on their own way.

 

You say that the pain is having an effect on your music? Why is this? Is it because you can't express yourself creatively? Is it because it bring back some memories? .... is it because you feel guilty about doing something you like when all this pain is surrounding you?

 

You need to ask yourself these and a whole bunch of other questions before you find an answer...

 

 

My deepest condolences to You, Friend.

 

 

//DrSpliff

[willie the wimp]

well first off. i am terribly sorry for all you've had to go through.

yet think, would all these people really want you to ist and mope or would they want you to get your life going? although i believe that you really can't rush this. just take your time and get it together, try to play some guitar. just finger pick and let your head flow and try to face what your dealing with.

also about the album, i say re scheldual and really make the album how you want to. maybe pay tribute to some of these people in songs. an album you can look at for some inspiration maybe is "seven songs for jim" by greg keelor. his father died from cancer i believe and he felt that he had to make this album for his dad. the whole album is basically a journal of memories of his father. from when he was a child waiting for his dad to come home from work to songs about cleaning out his father's room. "in your room filled with the smoke of your never ending ciggarettes, the stench of whisky on your breath, i wish i could say i'll remember everything you said today, but i'll forget, yea i'll forget/ cause you and i have no regrets, just this love"

 

i hope you make the best album you can and have fun doing it. get some friends to join you and just play from your heart, and don't hide what's in it. goodluck to you.

[bluesway]

i'm so, so sorry.

 

all the advice is good enough NOT to have me add to it, so that's all i'll say.

[jewel]

you need to get writing and tracking and finish your project. it may help someone who hears it. it may also help you. sting's "soul cages" was like that for him when his father died.

[ProgRock11]

Depression is rough. But music is something that helps you explore your feelings through expression. I've gone through a rough stretch as well and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I didn't experience all the loss you have experienced, but I know exactly how you feel. You begin losing interest in the things you love, isolate yourself from friends and family, and hopelessness seems to take over you thoughts and feelings. I know.

 

Now I'm not suggesting that you have something wrong with you or that you have a psychological disorder, but I think you need to talk to a counselor or therapist, and have your family go along with you. You and your family will be able to help and assist each other in bringing clarity to your situation. Therapy helped me see a light when I could see only darkness.

 

As for your creating music during this period...I don't know what kind of music you write, but writing really gave me an outlet for my darkest ruminations...and the result was some of the most soulful music I've ever produced. Yes the music was sad, but it was pure...right out of my heart. Honestly, if you just give yourself over to the song, let the song express the pain you feel, it can save you...it saved my life.

 

Best of luck...

 

Ryan

[theturbogernet]

Anyone who can get as far as you have through such a rough time as that, is one damn brave and coragous person, my heart goes out to you!!!

 

I agree with one of the previous posts, if you can manage to finish your project i know for a fact you will help someone else through a rough time.

[scottso]

Your post put the fear in me. I'm just past 36 years old and my Dad was recently diagnosed with the big "C". It looks like he will pull through but you never know with cancer. In any case, at my age I haven't had to deal with any major losses of friends or family yet (thank goodness), but just this one situation alone has definitely put a minor chord or ten in all my songwriting.

 

In my opinion, I think the best that an artist has in him/her comes out when they write during these stressful and emotional times. If you look at any kind of art, not just music, you will see that a lot of the "best" stuff comes when the artist is dealing with really difficult times. Even if its hard, I would say, lay down some songs now -- even if they are just rough tracks -- and then when you've had time to work through the pain and tough times, you will come back to find that a beautiful gem was growing while you were dealing with the worst pain you have ever known. Music is an outlet like any other art, and if you aren't afraid to bare your soul you might find that you are at your best when times were the worst. I look at it as a way to pay tribute to the people I love by expressing myself in the best way I know how.

 

My condolences to your losses! I dread the day that I have to deal with the things you are going through. If its any comfort at all from some anonymous guy on the Internet, there is always someone going through more pain than you are going through now. And if they can survive it, so can you. Unfortunately loss is a part of life, but in the end it will make you appreciate what you have now. And ultimately the loss of yourself will be someone else's pain. Its the cycle of life. And if anything is worthy of a song, these things are.