2 Original Songs on Piano and Voice Need Feedback.

[jdjustice]

Hi guys... I am a longtime musician but neophyte songwriter.

Was wondering if you would mind listening and critiquing one or two of my original compositions... they are both just piano and voice and were recorded using Pro Tools LE.

 

Anyway, here are the two songs for your digestion / critiquing:

 

'Tragic' by J.D. Justice

'Fine' by J.D. Justice

 

Thanks a bunch in advance!!

 

Cheers

JD

[blue2blue]

Hi, J.D.

 

"Tragic" sounds well-played, the piano sounds good and it sounds like you had a good mic and preamp for your vocal. But the reverb on the piano contrasted with the very dry and immediate vocal -- and especially its prominence in the early part of the song make them not quite fit together as well as I think they should, psychoacoustically. There was something odd going on in a couple spots where your voice got loud, almost a sort of whistling distortion effect. Minor ish.

 

This style is, of course, not exactly what's at the top of the charts but I strongly suspect you don't much care and more power to you on that. You have a distinctive voice and it's probably not going to be everyone's cup of tea. You could, perhaps, work to open it up some, or you could just say, to heck with it, I'm going to be precisely who I am right now and if you don't like it, tough. Judgment call.

 

 

[Off topic rant while killing time waiting for song to load: If Firefox is going to go out of their way to make me use the benighted and stunted Quicktime player to listen to Mp3s, I wish to heck that Apple would pull a genius off their Genius Bar and put him or her to work adding the ability to stream/start playing before the whole file has loaded. Damn, I hate QT. Rant over.]

 

Anyhow, I'm back in business, "Fine" is playing. Again, the vocal seems a little overprominent but you sound a little more confident (or something) on this track. The strings sound pretty mid-70s keyboard (think Elka) but they get the general idea across. As before, the piano sounds pretty good. And, again, the vocal is very well captured, although I think just a little less high end in the 5-6K range might help tame some sibiliance (not too much, sibilance helps definition and intelligibility when it's in a natural balance).

 

For me, this song works a little better than "Tragic," I think I like your singing a little bit better here.

 

As usual for me, I find it much easier to address the lyrical component when I have them in front of me printed (virutally or otherwise).

 

Looks to me like you've done a good job at capturing well played and well sung performances. Folks who like the intimate, sort of cabaret approach you seem to favor will no doubt find them quite interesting and involving.

 

[dbd1963]

Listening now.. I think the vocal is too loud in Tragic. b2b may be on to something with the reverb but it also could just be that the vocal is pretty "in your face." I think your voice sounds good, the piano is recorded well so far as I can tell. The music is good. I think the key change was not really needed there.. I think the lyrics are the weakest link. They aren't bad, really, but in a song like this, they have to be top notch because people are going to hear every word.

 

Now Fine: Still think the vocals are too loud. You have a good voice so there's no need to try to hide it, but it just needs to be more settled into the music. The lyrics here feel right. I don't think I'm in love with this arrangement, but I like this song and wouldn't mind hearing it again.

[macresto]

Tragic: I like the song. I believe the vocal is waayy too dry for this kind of song and this kind of singing. More reverb. I want to believe I'm in a great theater. More reverb. And then then the piano should be louder.

 

Fine: This song I like better. It's more catchy and you get a hang of it faster than the first one. Still I believe more reverb on the vocal.

 

And then I would say that you might want to try to sing more forcefully. You sing very soft. If the vocals should fit the music better (as I hear it anyway) then a more forcefull vocal performance would really serve the music well. And then one other thing - be gentle with the vibrato on the vocal. I am myself struggling with vibrato - I always seem to apply loads of vibrato to my own vocals, which is odd since my style of music doesn't connect well with vibrato. But it's sort of an unconcious thing for me, I guess. So maybe it was the same for you. Be gentle with it - it can actually be usefull in this kind of music, but serve it gently.

[Tengo]

To reiterate, vocals jump out and sound harsh in tragic. You have a really nice voice, but I didn't want to listen to it because of the mix. Reverbs in the wrong place chum

[blue2blue]

I wouldn't reverse field too hard on the verb on the vocals, mind you. A little might go a long way. Better yet, perhaps, you may want to experiment with just the tiniest bit of delay on the vocal. I mean so little that people don't notice it. This can have the paradoxical effect of 'placing' the vocalist in the illusory soundstage you're trying to create in the listener's mind while keeping him up front. (Echo, when judiciously applied, can 'push' the vocalist it's applied to forward, while reverb often suggests that the vocalist is more 'in the middle' of the space. But if people notice the echo, it can sound artificial. For this reason, folks will sometimes combine a small amount of echo with a small amount of reverb [and I mean small for the immediate, up front effect I think you're pursuing]... also don't forget that some of your reverb settings may include or allow you to include a "pre-delay" on the verb. This can have a similar effect, pushing the vocalist forward (when used sparingly).

 

But too much 'verb, of course, and you've got a big, reverberant goop...

 

[Johnny-Boy]

First off JD, good songs and I love your vocal.

 

Tragic:

 

I think the vocal is fine on this. I don't think it needs any more reverb. It has that