Skatter-brained lyrics

[banjobach]

If you've ever picked up your pencil, or began typing, or dipped your quill (or however you write your lyrics) and forced yourself to turn the cogs in your brain, you've probably come up with a bunch of scattered crap (or at least I do). I actually fleshed out a song with an old guitar riff that I wanted to use. The only thing I'm unsure about is the lyrics. And dammit, I wrote a song in first-person again. I really need to break that habit. Take a look

 

Lost Mathematics:

I shouldn't laugh, shouldn't laugh

like a cynic

Thinking I'm sick, I'm sick

I'll admit it

Every river that I know

runs dry

People run dry too

 

Hope I will find, I will find

my place in...

Gotta stay in line, stay in line

or face the

Consequences lord I know

there are so many, there are so many

 

I fear what I don't understand

My life, or how to gain the upper hand

Is God merely peace of mind?

I want to find the underlying truth behind

This

 

Pray for yourselves, for yourselves

And listen

I don't need help, please help

I'm slipping

Down the rabbit hole

I see

Lost mathematics

life's equation

 

I fear what I don't understand

My life, and how I gain the upper hand

Is God merely peace of mind?

I want to find the underlying truth behind

This

 

Everybody wants to know

the solution

there's no solution

no solution

there's no solution

*********************

Listen to it here

[blue2blue]

They're kind of kaleidoscopic on the page but the big picture certainly comes through... put to your acoustic guitar accompaniment and with some nice backups it all seems to fit together pretty well in a pretty package... The rapid fingerpicking contrasts nicely with the lyrics floating across it. The internal rhymes serve the song's sound and feel well, I think.

 

A nice little, wistful, searching song...

[YogurtKing]

In my opinion, good lyrics are when you accurately convey your feelings in a way that other people can relate to.

 

I think these lyrics are in danger of expressing things too much on a level you relate to, but no one else does. We're all depressed. The key is to find the things about what you're feeling that resonate with everyone. Otherwise, it's just you and your notebook. It can be great therapy, but makes for less interesting lyrics IMHO.

[banjobach]

Thanks for all the helpful feedback.

I find when writing good lyrics that people relate to, I try to walk a fine line between obscurity and generalizations. I don't see this song as much depressed as I do weary. But that's interpretation I suppose. I gave it a more upbeat instrumental part to feel more ironic. Maybe I covered too much with this 2 and a half minute song. God, conformity, personal doubt, the rabbit hole;). But i wanted to encompass the racing worries I have at times (and hopefully others do as well for the sake of my song). I guess if would help me if you could identify which lines throw you off. That way I could rework them instead of scrapping the entire lyrics altogether.

Thanks again, I always get the best feedback here:thu:

[rsadasiv]

Sounds really nice. The lyrics might be a little abstract/scatterbrained on the page, but in the context of the song they work well - most of the time people don't hear/understand the connective tissue parts of a lyric anyway.

 

First person singular is THE rock lyric POV - don't make any apologies about using it (unless you really want to be a wanky singer songwriter writing for an audience of other wanky singer songwriters - then I strongly suggest switching to the third person singular and the subjunctive voice ).