Somewhere to Go (lyrics for reviewing)

[Sunsetcarcrash]

I was just in a writing mood, so i pulled these together in a couple minutes... What do you think? Suggestions? Thanks in advance for looking, and for all your help! I will post clips, but it has a very alt-country Ryan Adams sound mixed with the wierd time signature changes of Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks

 

I just wrote a letter, and added it to the box

the box where all my words for you go

cause when it all was over, i ran from the sun

the sun's still chasing me today

I didnt have a future, and I guess that hasnt changed

I still leave as soon as I feel at home

call me a drifter, call me a rolling stone

Its hard to be lost when you never had somewhere,

 

somewhere to go

 

When all i ever knew, turned its back on me

I couldnt help but do the same

My mind still keeps racing, when my eyes are closed tight

I often think over my own head

I dream that im the barrel of a loaded gun

And in me I can find my way home

But Im just a loser, a rolling stone

And its hard to be lost when you never had somwhere,

 

Somewhere to go

 

Train come take me away

Lets ride all night and day

Train come take me away

Give me somewhere

Somewhere

Somewhere to go

[tbry]

Nice write...rolling stone lines were the only ones that are so clich

[babablowfish]

Hi, I am new here, I am a regular at the Acoustic Forum. I like your lyrics. I like the conflict between the longing for a place to call home and the compulsive need to leave as soon as someplace starts to feel like home. It evokes the feeling I get from Jackson Brown's stuff.

[Sunsetcarcrash]

Tbryson... I know what you mean... I kept trying to think of things, but it always just came out, and i have sworn off forcing songs out... I always waste what could have been a great song... I know its cliche, but im gunna hope nobody notices until something better pops up... lol!

 

Babablowfish... Compared to Jackson Browne! Thats awesome! Im glad you like it! Thanks!

 

Thanks for the comments and help! Anybody else with suggestions...

[tbry]

call me a drifter, call me a rolling stone

 

maybe...

 

call me a drifter,call me a man alone....or

 

call me a drifter,call me a man with no home

 

just a thought:)

[rsadasiv]

On the page the lyrics don't do anything for me, but with the right performance and the right delivery I could see this turning into a very listenable song.

[blue2blue]

These seem like they could be the kind of lyrics that come out when you're really in the sway of some groove and you open your mouth and what comes out is perfectly matched to the groove and flows naturally.

 

And then... somehow you write it down and come back later and look at the page and maybe even the notes your scribbled about the chords you were playing -- but you look at the page and you go, where's the magic? (I guess that is the beauty of recorders [the recording kind, not the playing kind.)

 

Anyhow, I can sense how the magic might be there with the appropriately soulful delivery but I think the real craft will be in how well you can bottle that magic -- can you capture that magic and turn it into a repeatable song?

[myredshoes]

It feels very nice, especially the beginning. I don't have such a box but I understand the need it fills and could see the box opening, the paper going in. Of course it could be a mail box, but somehow the word "added" eliminated that possiblilty for me. Very nicely done.

 

 

 

You might couple your concept of hard to be lost when you never had somewhere with the idea of a drifter that never goes anywhere; the rolling stone image is worn but if you could somehow create the image of a stone rolling in place, wearing itself down without actually going anywhere, then that would be a novel take on it.

[wchua24]

nice one you got there.. do you got the melody for this already?

[myredshoes]

You're getting there, aren't you.

 

the lines

I often think over my own head

I dream that I'm the barrel of a loaded gun

don't speak to me

and I look for a resolution of the fact of having nowhere to go with the fact that the narrative voice once clearly did have somewhere to go but lost that place, but that's my problem. It might be better unresolved.

 

The rolling stone thing; I don't know, I hear call me a drifter, pick up the phone, a seeking for connection rather than acceptance that there is none, but again this is my inclination and may have nothing to do with your song.

 

The first verse is still golden to me and I like the train bit at the end as well.

 

We call the box I have at home "the shrine" because this woman came into the little guitar store last spring and wanted new strings on her bass, and when I asked her how old her strings were, she said "about three years".

I had spoken to her a little bit and had heard her play and was very impressed with her. I cleaned the bass and restrung it and set it up and then I took the old strings home with me, and put them in a box. After a few months went by there were a few notes from her to add to the box, then little fliers from the first show we went to, but the first time I knew she was going to know I had saved her old strings, just because they were hers, before we knew each other, well, I was kind of nervous. But I had done it, so I told her anyway.

And she teased me about having a shrine.

So anyway the box I have is a very happy place, filled with reminders of things we said and did and wrote when we first met, and slowly added to over time.

Before I met her I didn't have a box. But there had been someone else, and it had not ended happily at all for anyone, and the way it ended I had all these things I felt I had to say that I was never going to be allowed to say. So at that time this forum became my box for all of that.

All of this probably isn't all that interesting, it's not even about your song; what might interest us is that if we write well we could come up with two lines that take someone places like the first two lines of your song took me.

That's a pretty cool thing to be able to do.