Members Stratman Tigers Posted September 16, 2009 Members Share Posted September 16, 2009 Well, I wrote this song a month ago and finally recorded it today. It is my first attempt ever actually singing seriously, so don't laugh if it sounds as nasally as Billy Corgan or Bob Dylan :poke: I really don't like my voice period (I think my voice even cracks in the start of the bridge), which is probably why I've waited so long to record my voice, but this song is too personal for someone else to sing. http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8106365 Let the water washUp and all aroundThe currents drift so fastBehind the lightning crashListen to the wavesWho speak in different tonguesListen to the wavesFrom where we came from Oooh x 2You...me...and the sea.We were all so youngBlind and confusedWith a worldBefore our eyesListen to the waves Who speak in different tonguesListen to the waves From where we came fromOooh x 2You...me...and the seaOh, you keep drifting farFurther apartI can't see you anymoreThe world looks so different hereYou...me...and the sea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TravvyBear Posted September 16, 2009 Members Share Posted September 16, 2009 I like the song man, it's good, especially the lyrics.Your voice is the hard part to critique, because, it's not bad, and it dosent feel like you're struggling to hit notes, it just sounds like sometimes you miss the notes? Get what I'm saying? Sorry if that sounds harsh, it sounds like you have the ability to sing the song, maybe just work on hitting the right notes more? I dunno, but good job, it's a good song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stratman Tigers Posted September 16, 2009 Author Members Share Posted September 16, 2009 Thanks. I know what you mean and probably where in the song you heard it. Like I said, I'm new to the whole singing thing. I remember being in bands and not singing because I didn't have the best voice, but listening to alot of Jeff Mangum and Bob Dylan lately has kind of made me think that I don't need the best voice to portray the music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TravvyBear Posted September 16, 2009 Members Share Posted September 16, 2009 Thanks. I know what you mean and probably where in the song you heard it. Like I said, I'm new to the whole singing thing. I remember being in bands and not singing because I didn't have the best voice, but listening to alot of Jeff Mangum and Bob Dylan lately has kind of made me think that I don't need the best voice to portray the music. Right, that's absolutely true, you don't need the best voice in the world to sing and convey a song, and I think you do have a good voice, and as long as you keeping singing and writing, it's only going to get better have a good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hypcollector Posted September 17, 2009 Members Share Posted September 17, 2009 i like the lyrics alot. lot of the senses covered. sounds and sights. and you can almost taste the salt of the sea. the ohhhh part adds alot and could be howled louder. the only thing wrong with your voice is that you evidently haven't sung much. once you learn your voice and understand it's possibilities better, it will be refined and smooth. just start singing all the time, articulating each word to it's fullest. nice song....aristotle's advise on changing times>>>be water....pg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stratman Tigers Posted September 17, 2009 Author Members Share Posted September 17, 2009 Thanks, I'm really glad you saw that imagery. Its what I basically saw in mind while writing it. At the advice of others, I'm gonna re-record it tuned a step up, to make it easier on the voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members easilyspooked Posted September 17, 2009 Members Share Posted September 17, 2009 not that i'm any expert, but you might consider practicing singing louder, stretching yourself a little more, when you push the borders of your voice you can make yourself more comfortable in your traditional range, and make yourself stronger. that's what the vocals sound like to me: good, but lacking power. pete knows you'd get better advice on the singer's forum, but i figued i'd chime in anyway. lyrics are nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sam McDonald Posted September 18, 2009 Members Share Posted September 18, 2009 Hi, I like your song, good lyrics and I like the acoustic setting. As for the singing, well I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flatpickle Posted September 19, 2009 Members Share Posted September 19, 2009 I know the guy above me talked about how bad trained voices often are on folk songs, but... If you want to work on pitch accuracy (and I recommend it), do scale exercises. Mommy made me mash my M&M's type stuff. It makes a surprisingly big difference in a surprisingly short time. Some of the type of vocal exercises you see in the youtube link. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted September 20, 2009 Members Share Posted September 20, 2009 I think the voice is mainly a production issue--it doesn't quite "fit" with the music, maybe as a matter of different levels of reverb on each. I do think the Oooh x 2 is a bit off pitch, though. Lyrics are pretty cool. I think if the whole thing were a few keys higher, it would be a lot more comfortable to sing and you'd be able to bring a lot more confidence to it. Try it capoed at the third fret, maybe. Cool chord progression on the verse. Bring it to the band--I'd like to hear a full-band version. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted September 21, 2009 Members Share Posted September 21, 2009 I like this song a lot. That said I think you might feel more comfortable singing it if you worked the verse lyrics a bit to find words that flow a bit better for you....trying saying the same things subtly different to get a better flow. Don't get hung up on singing the lyrics exactly as you wrote them. And......look for places in this current production where you like the way your voice sounds and try to figure out why that is. For instance, I think your performance during the refrains is better than in the verses....in fact the least few "you, me and the sea"s really work vocally for me. Also........agree with CM about a possible key change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stratman Tigers Posted September 22, 2009 Author Members Share Posted September 22, 2009 http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8106365 I've been sick as a dog the last week, so today was the first day I could record any sort of vocals. I moved up the song a whole key. Some points are still pitchy, but hey, its a work in progress. I think its an improvement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marko Posted September 23, 2009 Members Share Posted September 23, 2009 Considering this is a songwriting forum, I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rockinrobby Posted September 23, 2009 Members Share Posted September 23, 2009 It's a little pitchy, nothing that couldn't be fixed with Melodyne. Except the combo of the mic and the space, I can hear the walls reflecting, you can't fix that w SW :-( And the guitar's a little out of tune, not badly, just a little, and the acoustic isn't recorded correctly :-( Sorry, I don't mean to sound so negative, I could record you here and make a kick ass demo of this song for you. It's a nice song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stratman Tigers Posted September 23, 2009 Author Members Share Posted September 23, 2009 Thanks guys. I'm glad you all like the song. Vocals can always be worked on and fixed with practice, but songwriting is different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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