Members stickboymusic Posted November 1, 2010 Members Share Posted November 1, 2010 Hello again Just quickly tracked this.... i know it doesnt do a lot and its pretty rough... freestyle electric etc but what are your initial thoughts....a keeper or a scrapper? http://soundcloud.com/stickboy/sleepwalking-a-new-quick-demo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted November 1, 2010 Members Share Posted November 1, 2010 Interesting initial lyric conceit, I like it a lot -- the distance it gives between what the guy in the song wants and what he suspects is on the GF's mind. That said, I wasn't absolutely sure the shift from sleeptalking to sleepwalking completely worked for me, as is -- although it's clear that the chorus confronts the issue directly but I'm not entirely sure successfully. The sound and feel is quite endearing, however, and makes one want to forgive whatever possible failings he might find... still, I'm not sure how we really got from the set up and initial situation (the gap between the GF's sleepbound murmurings and the perceived reality) and the final resolution of real love. (Of course, there's a chance that I misheard or missed some lyrical content.) It sounds very pretty, anyhow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted November 1, 2010 Author Members Share Posted November 1, 2010 ha i dont think you misread i think you just "read" a lot. Do you think it would be best to stick with sleeptalking on both times rather than one of each? It was just a quick idea that i jotted down , can go and work this one up properly..... i guess the point was it was all in her head but then she woke and it was true....well hopefully.... i just kinda jumped a chapter or two Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted November 1, 2010 Members Share Posted November 1, 2010 You know, I'm just not sure... the formalist side of me wants to stick with sleeptalking. There are a few considerations, though... for one thing, the word coinage works in reference to sleepwalking, so when you move to sleepwalking, it's possibly some kind of little disappointment on some level, as though you're telling the set up after the punch line. (Now, maybe sleeptalking is a phrase one hears in the UK. Not really so much in the US, where it sounds kind of exotic -- although instantly understandable, of course.) That said, I'm not necessarily sure that turning them around so the more common sleepwalking comes first is the right idea, either. OTOH, I do sort of like moving from the more expected and general -- walking around and then the link somehow to sleepwalking -- even if I wasn't exactly sure how we got from walking around to sleepwalking (I think I have to listen again and pay better attention to the lyrics) -- but I do sort of like moving from the open and general walking around to the ultimately so much more intimate experience of listening to a lover talking in her sleep and wondering what the hell she's talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted November 1, 2010 Author Members Share Posted November 1, 2010 ha ok...i wasnt suggesting switching them around i was wondering if i should just use sleep talking on both occurences? Yeh sleep talking is pretty common over here.... i know my gf does it! (not to the level of this song but she once let out a massive SQQUAARKK after dreaming about a seagul with boxing gloves....but thats another story.) I guess i was just recording the first thing that came to mind and i may have to revisit this one to make it make a little more sense in the story form. Sleep walking normally i would say would involve someone physically get out of bed whilst still being in a sense of sleep.... what i really want to portray is i guess dreamwalking if that exists? like someone mentioning this beautiful visit to paris only for it to be a dream...i suppose this dream could have occurred whilst physically sleep walking around the house tough one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted November 1, 2010 Members Share Posted November 1, 2010 Yeah... there's definitely a song here but it might take some poking and prodding to really get it to reveal itself in the proper perspective. That said, given the nature of the effort, maybe you should just go with your first inspiration... particularly if it seems to mean to you what you want. If your vision is strong enough -- others will eventually see what you see, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members CockleHocker Posted November 1, 2010 Members Share Posted November 1, 2010 I really really enjoyed this. It's a very beautiful song. I'm going to have to disagree with blue2blue though (sorry!), I think the "sleepwalking" works fine. It doesn't sound odd to me. If you want to get into semantics, then you're right - it can be physically walking around whilst asleep or walking within sleep - walking within the dream. It doesn't have to be spelled out for the listener. Some of the greatest songs ever written are very ambiguous (and damn-right senseless sometimes!). It's a very beautiful song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted November 2, 2010 Members Share Posted November 2, 2010 Ooh, your accent is DREAMY!!! lol I love the soft, gentle almost "crying cat" style of guitars... This is GORGEOUS! It makes me want to curl up on a couch somewhere and just listen, in a state of drowsiness and cosy comfort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted November 2, 2010 Members Share Posted November 2, 2010 Really pretty acoustic guitar work........ I think you should stick with the talking/walking thing. I mean....sleeptalking is kind of cute but sleepwalking is kind of an issue. When you first introduced sleepwalking I definitely got an image of someone who is somewhat disconnected to the situation at hand....the relationship? Perhaps that helps tie into the 'real love' part at the end.....if you sleepwalk through the relationship you stand the chance of missing out on the 'real love' that is there for you. .... what i really want to portray is i guess dreamwalking if that exists? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_Dreaming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted November 5, 2010 Members Share Posted November 5, 2010 Ooh, your accent is DREAMY!!! lolI love the soft, gentle almost "crying cat" style of guitars...This is GORGEOUS! It makes me want to curl up on a couch somewhere and just listen, in a state of drowsiness and cosy comfort. +1. "crying cat" is a great description. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted November 5, 2010 Members Share Posted November 5, 2010 Heheh! That Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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