Members Heckxx Posted April 2, 2011 Members Share Posted April 2, 2011 Hey everyone, just finished up this mix of one of my new songs. Definitely one of the heavier songs I've written, I used alot of Line6 guitar distortions and delays on synth sounds, which is pretty cool. I hear a few things I need to change and improve, but overall I think this is one of the more powerful things I've written/produced. Anyways, take a listen, let me know what you think, I appreciate any/all comments! Soundclick: http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10475428 Box.net (free download): http://www.box.net/shared/1q79b2lkqb Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/v...deo.php?v=740554835214 Youtube: There aren't a ton of lyrics, but I hope they come off as memorable, deep, and not bland or annoying. Thanks for listening! -Jeff ================================= Whatcha doing now? Are you trying to stir up jealousy? Whatcha saying now? Are you claiming to be a perfect melody? Everyone is underneath you You're soaking up the sun If you are a goddess, you are Not a perfect one Are you flying high Just to touch the empty sky? Are you flying high Just to make us feel so low tonight? Whatcha doing now? Showing off your invincible attitude? Where you going now? To the places where no one here can follow you If the world should crumble You will stand above the waves Everyone is drowning and you Pass them on your way Are you flying high Just to touch the empty sky? Are you flying high Just to make us feel so low tonight? Flying high Just to show your wings tonight Are you satisfied As we stand in awe behind these lights? You're so invincible You're so incredible You're undeniable Living in your world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted April 2, 2011 Members Share Posted April 2, 2011 I think, overall, this works pretty well as a sort of electro-pop thing. I wondered if maybe you could sharpen up a couple of lyrical elements. Nothing really wrong... but, say, the melody allusion, while making sense in the overall scheme of things jus seemed a bit peripheral. But, like I said, overall, the lyrical intent is clear and viewed from enough angles as to create a balance that gives you some freedom to explore those different angles. I thought the arrangement was, overall, strong and effective. Your vocal has a sort of psychedelic revival quality (I think it reminds me of The 3 O'Clock singer specifically) to it I found intriguing in context. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members eagle1 Posted April 3, 2011 Members Share Posted April 3, 2011 LOVED IT! The track is well produced and listening to it through my Shures 840, sound is rich and full.Love the rhythm and although a simple progression, the little touches you added (effects) make itsound great.! The vocals at the end were a bit drowned though. Other than that, a job well done.!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tbry Posted April 3, 2011 Members Share Posted April 3, 2011 Outstanding... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Heckxx Posted April 4, 2011 Author Members Share Posted April 4, 2011 Thanks for the comments guys! There are some vocal volume problems at the end I need to figure out, and I think overall, the verse lyrics/melody could be a little better, if I can come up with something. I'm definitely going to submit this for a critique at TAXI, see what the industry pros think. -Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DukeOfBoom Posted April 4, 2011 Members Share Posted April 4, 2011 I think its pretty good. I think the only thing that's annoying for me is every line is a question. Personally, I would leave the verses as questions, but I would definitely change the chorus to first-person To:I am flying highJust to touch the empty sky!I am flying highJust to make us feel so good tonight Lyrics that are all questions need to be resolved and more alpha IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Heckxx Posted April 5, 2011 Author Members Share Posted April 5, 2011 I think its pretty good.I think the only thing that's annoying for me is every line is a question.Personally, I would leave the verses as questions, but I would definitely change the chorus to first-personTo:I am flying highJust to touch the empty sky!I am flying highJust to make us feel so good tonightLyrics that are all questions need to be resolved and more alpha IMO. Yeah good point, I think I might try changing the verse around so it's not a question, I'm not 100% sold on the "whatcha" business, it's borderline too-hip or something. Your chorus idea is pretty cool though, I might throw around that idea as well. Thanks for the feedback! -Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members spears24adam Posted April 5, 2011 Members Share Posted April 5, 2011 Just love this song...and its lyrics are too good!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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