Members J.Paul Posted July 23, 2011 Members Share Posted July 23, 2011 We had a "conflict" w/ a promoter last week and I thought to myself "everywhere you go there's a jackass". Then I thought WOW that's a song, lets write it. Then I thought "asshole" rhymed better but since I'm trying to write for radio you can't say "asshole" so I morphed it into "jackhole".....last line of the chorus /payoff/hook : "big city Bill or small town Joeeverywhere you go there's a jackhole" ....then (this week) it occurs to me that there is a talk show or production company or something else called jackhole (not sure what it is but I swear I've seen the logo before). Should I keep the word? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted July 23, 2011 Members Share Posted July 23, 2011 We had a "conflict" w/ a promoter last week and I thought to myself "everywhere you go there's a jackass". Then I thought WOW that's a song, lets write it. Then I thought "asshole" rhymed better but since I'm trying to write for radio you can't say "asshole" so I morphed it into "jackhole".....last line of the chorus /payoff/hook :"big city Bill or small town Joeeverywhere you go there's a jackhole"....then (this week) it occurs to me that there is a talk show or production company or something else called jackhole (not sure what it is but I swear I've seen the logo before).Should I keep the word? Jackhole is Jimmy Kimmel's production entity. I'm not sure if the word is copyrighted or not, but I like jackass better anyway. You could always use "asshole" on the original and replace it with "forget you" on the airplay version...* LCK *For anyone who doesn't get it, this is a reference to Cee Lo Green's song, "F--- You." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monkey Uncle Posted July 24, 2011 Members Share Posted July 24, 2011 I'm not even sure 'asshole' will get you banned from radio these days. I guess it depends on how audible the word is. Roger Daltrey got away with 'who the {censored} are you' on radio more than 30 years ago. Anyway, I'm an advocate of writing what you feel and letting people decide for themselves whether they find it offensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted July 24, 2011 Members Share Posted July 24, 2011 Big city Bill or small town schmoe everywhere you go there's a Jackass Joe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marshal Posted July 24, 2011 Members Share Posted July 24, 2011 I like jackhole. But LCK may be right. I've heard that term before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted July 25, 2011 Members Share Posted July 25, 2011 I like Jackass better than Jackhole. Simple, relatable, to the point. Jackhole, by contrast feels cluttered, like it is the smushed up combo of words that it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted July 25, 2011 Members Share Posted July 25, 2011 This isn't meant to be as snide as it will probably sound I think "big city bill and small town joe" would be more likely to keep this song off the radio than the term asshole Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members J.Paul Posted July 25, 2011 Author Members Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thanks for the feedback folks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members J.Paul Posted July 25, 2011 Author Members Share Posted July 25, 2011 I like Jackass better than Jackhole. Simple, relatable, to the point. Jackhole, by contrast feels cluttered, like it is the smushed up combo of words that it is. Yeah I know, I considered that at first...plus "jackass" flows better. I honestly don't think country radio is gonna play anything with the word jackass yet (I could ask and find out....)The thing is (some) country songs tend to invent words that don't exist (lol)which leads me to "jackhole"......it might end up getting sung as a half note or whole note phrase which would relieve any clutteredness not sure yet....haven't worked on it....another song wanted me to write it first so I had to listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members J.Paul Posted July 25, 2011 Author Members Share Posted July 25, 2011 This isn't meant to be as snide as it will probably soundI think "big city bill and small town joe" would be more likely to keep this song off the radio than the term asshole You mean that it might sound insulting or belittling?If so, that doesn't bother me.Small town people love being from small towns (at least that's what country radio espouses)rednecks love being redneckshicks are hicks and know it.... I also might end up spelling it "Jo"....wouldn't wanna exclude the ladies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members J.Paul Posted July 28, 2011 Author Members Share Posted July 28, 2011 Anyway, I'm an advocate of writing what you feel and letting people decide for themselves whether they find it offensive. I'm not the artist,or I wouldit'll be pitched so I'm trying to self edit as much as I can before it gets to decision makers..... I was doing fine until I got to the payoff of the second verse :"in a cinemayelling at the big screenhe's an enemain the back of a donkey" and am just shooting myself in the foot nowlolmaybe it should just be a blues song insteadafter all it IS 3 minuetes of complaining Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members J.Paul Posted August 5, 2011 Author Members Share Posted August 5, 2011 Well this song is almost finished(just lettin' it sink it for awhile before I polish it some more). It didn't end up being a country songit's kind of Aerosmith-y.I feel like we should always have control of the song and guide it where we want,but it didn't want toit wanted to be something elseso I listened. Kimmel's a Bosstones fan so maybe I'll stick some horns on it. JACKHOLE A cigarettes fliessoaring out the windowand he runs red lightsknowing it's a no noIn an airport lineTSA's in troublebreaker 2-1-9hurry up on the double big city Bill or small town Phil everywhere you gothere's a jackhole In a message boardbluffing better pokerwhen he cant affordchips on a shoulderIn a cinemayelling at a light beamhe's a hot enemamelting my ice cream big city Samor small town Daneverywhere you go there's a jackhole Well he's probablya son of a gun that fires BBsand his mommy never whooped him over her kneesHe's full of verve and sasswhen he's acting like a big jackhole big city Bill small town Philmountain man Moeor metro Joeeverywhere you go there's a jackholeeverywhere you go there's a jackhole Music & Lyric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted August 5, 2011 Members Share Posted August 5, 2011 Very clever. And very funny. Nice work. LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 5, 2011 Moderators Share Posted August 5, 2011 You pulled that one out nicely. Is there a link I'm missing or did you not post one? Demo not worked up yet? BTW, your mention of Aerosmith really makes this tick. It's very Tyleresque. Cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nocowsever Posted August 5, 2011 Members Share Posted August 5, 2011 Very good lyrics! They definitely flow well, and are funny. I'm curious to hear the song after completion! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members J.Paul Posted August 6, 2011 Author Members Share Posted August 6, 2011 You pulled that one out nicely. Is there a link I'm missing or did you not post one? Demo not worked up yet? BTW, your mention of Aerosmith really makes this tick. It's very Tyleresque. Cool. well I have a worktape but not a demo,the arrangement it's still a little too singer/songwriter-eyThis kind of thing demands loud electric guitar with loud drummer (ala high school band style) bashing it out to make it a little more authentic...it'll probably be mid-September before I have time and opportunity to do that...PLUS finding the right voice for the tune is always critical for demos.This guy in Nashville I use to do writers nights with, Rusty Horn, might be a good vocal for this (he use to be in Hayseed Dixie),if not my friend Terry down in SPI can get a little closer to the vibe than I can. http://www.jpaulmusic.com/Audio/jackhole-worktape2.mp3 I hate writing rock songs on acoustic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 6, 2011 Moderators Share Posted August 6, 2011 well I have a worktape but not a demo, the arrangement it's still a little too singer/songwriter-ey This kind of thing demands loud electric guitar with loud drummer (ala high school band style) bashing it out to make it a little more authentic ...it'll probably be mid-September before I have time and opportunity to do that...PLUS finding the right voice for the tune is always critical for demos. This guy in Nashville I use to do writers nights with, Rusty Horn, might be a good vocal for this (he use to be in Hayseed Dixie), if not my friend Terry down in SPI can get a little closer to the vibe than I can. http://www.jpaulmusic.com/Audio/jackhole-worktape2.mp3 I hate writing rock songs on acoustic. yeah! This is cool. I love the jackhole hook. I love the guitar hooks, the overt and well as the more subtle ones. That single note line you do in the intro? That's very cool. It seems you could incorporate that between the "everywhere you go there's a jackhole" lines. It might need changing of some notes to make it work over your chord sequence there, but I think it would add the extra bit of hookiness your main hook is looking for. This is really cool. You have a mean, intuitive groove. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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