Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 19, 2011 Moderators Share Posted September 19, 2011 As I was listening to Mahuska's post, a kind of early Steely Dan sound, I realized, what he really needed was a melody and lyric to his cool track. And my mind started running on about the kinds of things Fagen/Becker wrote. And I came up with this. (I'm keeping it for me) Not really Dan-like but I kind of think there may be something here. I'm not a believer but I do enjoy a mean trick or two played by god. Or maybe just a "duh! what are you doing up there!!!???" If You're Looking For Me... They built a tower, brick made with fireThey built into the stratosphereLevel by level, higher and higher A ladder to the heavens, it took them 47 years *They set out to touch the hand of GodA young man and his greedy wifeEager feet on stairs of sodThey climbed on into the night The man complained, girl aren't you tired?But she kept climbing tier to tierGod could grant her all the gold she desired (then they heard him)If you're looking for me, I'm down here I'm down hereIn the mud of the river bedI'm down hereIn the rushes and the brambleI'm down here, bathing in waters clean and clearIf you're looking for meI'm down here ? I could go to a modern LA Silverlake couple, scratching and biting their way through the rungs of LA life, desperate to move it on up. Up to the Sky Bar and looking down at the lights of LA. Trying to find their God and gold when... I'm down hereFishing the concrete LA RiverI'm down hereWith the boozers and the bumsI'm down here, in Mitzi's drinking a cold draft beerIf you're looking for meI'm down here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 19, 2011 Author Moderators Share Posted September 19, 2011 Orville stepped into the schoolmaster's foyerHead down and bruised, another schoolyard fightHe stole a peek out the window to the clouds in playAnd watched a flock of spoonbills in flightOrville felt the air rush through his mussed up hairHe felt his fears pack and disappearYoung man! Just what is it that you're looking for up there?!??!If you're looking for me... I'm down here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 19, 2011 Author Moderators Share Posted September 19, 2011 I like the Wright Bro in trouble schtick but it then puts the Schoolmaster in the role of God. I'm not sure where I'm going with that. Any ideas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted September 19, 2011 Members Share Posted September 19, 2011 I say this with all the religious fervor I can muster, {censored}ing Awesome! I'd switch some lines around in the second stanza. I think they'd sing better this way They set out to touch the hand of GodA young man and his greedy wifeEager feet on the stairs of sodThey climbed on into the night The Orville Wright and schoolmaster one was cool, but I don't think it fits with this. I'd like to see this continue on with the story of the young couple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted September 19, 2011 Members Share Posted September 19, 2011 Maybe the story could be, the young man has a realization but the greedy wife doesn't. She leaves him when he stops caring about materialistic things. She only grows more bitter over time. The last chorus could be her seeing her ex-husband (although I don't know if they really had exes back then) so maybe estranged husband and he says I'm down hereIn the mud of the river bedI'm down hereIn the rushes and the brambleI'm down here, bathing in waters clean and clearIf you're looking for meI'm happy down here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 19, 2011 Author Moderators Share Posted September 19, 2011 Good stuff^^^ Yeah, ditch Orville. I like the LA Silverlake meets the Sky Bar though. Maybe, the ancient couple. Then the modern couple, then an I'm happy down here thing. Thanks, that's great stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 19, 2011 Author Moderators Share Posted September 19, 2011 II'd switch some lines around in the second stanza. I think they'd sing better this wayThey set out to touch the hand of GodA young man and his greedy wifeEager feet on the stairs of sodThey climbed on into the night *fixed in OP. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted September 19, 2011 Members Share Posted September 19, 2011 *fixed in OP. Thanks. look forward to hearing it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nocowsever Posted September 19, 2011 Members Share Posted September 19, 2011 Excellent concept! Very creative, and I think it has a lot of potential overall. Hope to hear it soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 19, 2011 Members Share Posted September 19, 2011 I like the idea, but in suggesting that God may not be a Sky Wizard, he seems a bit earthbound. How about proposing the concept of God as more universal. Like : I'm down hereFishing the concrete LA RiverI'm down hereWith the boozers and the bumsI'm down here, in Mitzi's drinking a cold draft beerIf you're looking for meI'm on the stairIf you're looking for meI'm everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 19, 2011 Author Moderators Share Posted September 19, 2011 I like the idea, but in suggesting that God may not be a Sky Wizard, he seems a bit earthbound. How about proposing the concept of God as more universal. Like : I'm down here Fishing the concrete LA River I'm down here With the boozers and the bums I'm down here, in Mitzi's drinking a cold draft beer If you're looking for me I'm on the stair If you're looking for me I'm everywhere. I think I like the idea of God being as earthbound as you or I. See... cause we're not earthbound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 19, 2011 Members Share Posted September 19, 2011 I think I like the idea of God being as earthbound as you or I. See... cause we're not earthbound. OK - the lyric can work either way. BTW - I was here last time I looked, but I'll keep you posted of any change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 19, 2011 Author Moderators Share Posted September 19, 2011 OK - the lyric can work either way. BTW - I was here last time I looked, but I'll keep you posted of any change. I guess it comes down to my interpretation of what God is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 19, 2011 Members Share Posted September 19, 2011 I guess it comes down to my interpretation of what God is. I think we are about to reach 7 billion interpretations of God in October. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 21, 2011 Author Moderators Share Posted September 21, 2011 They built a tower, brick made with fireThey built into the stratosphereLevel by level, higher and higher A ladder to the heavens, it took them 47 years They set out to touch the hand of GodA young man and his greedy wifeEager feet on stairs of sodThey climbed on into the night The man complained, girl aren't you tired?But she kept climbing tier to tierGod could grant her all the gold she desired (then they heard him)If you're looking for me, I'm down here I'm down hereIn the mud of the river bedI'm down hereIn the rushes and the brambleI'm down here, bathing in waters clean and clearIf you're looking for meI'm down here (this)She wants to write her novelHe wants a Benz CL65But she won't beg or grovelAnd he's never felt more alive (or this)Scratching and biting their way Through the rungs of LA lifeMaking an epic squeeze playPartners in crime, man and wife Life north of the Hollywood FreewayAt Silverlake ReservoirThe Sky Bar's a straight downhill shot, Up Sunset Boulevard Up the Mondrian Hotel liftTo the heaven's of LARooftop view gets short shriftDid they hear somebody say... I'm down hereFishing the concrete LA RiverI'm down hereWith the boozers and the bumsI'm down here, in Mitzi's drinking a cold draft beerIf you're looking for meI'm down here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted September 21, 2011 Members Share Posted September 21, 2011 or this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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