Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 6, 2012 Moderators Share Posted March 6, 2012 The annoying thing is, i just sent this demo to my publisher for initial feedback...... the main thing they liked were the simple lyrics.... sometimes you just want to give up. Aha! That's interesting about the simple lyric. But you've just added enough interest to make the simpler lyric work. And you still have your Stickprint on it. This is now a good lyric. The simple is sweet now but not sticky. No, no, no... don't drop it, this is really good now. As I hoped you'd do with it, you've added just enough metaphor to use the simple for a nice balance. Still really simple but not silly vacant at all. And nice job shifting the melody from the Neil. If I were your publisher I'd be saying, "YES! More of this please." I think you are hitting your target just right. As I said earlier, Juno. It now has a bit of the quirk without it veering from straight mainstream. This is good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted March 6, 2012 Members Share Posted March 6, 2012 The annoying thing is, i just sent this demo to my publisher for initial feedback...... the main thing they liked were the simple lyrics.... sometimes you just want to give up. Just goes to show.. what do I know... maybe do the opposite of whatever I suggest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted March 6, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 6, 2012 Just goes to show.. what do I know... maybe do the opposite of whatever I suggest! and me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted March 7, 2012 Members Share Posted March 7, 2012 I can hear this being played on a romantic TV show or American romcom movie. It hits the right spot for the genre. We may have the Dylan / Simon / Cohen buried within us, but even the French Impressionists painted water colours of the Notre Dame to sell to the tourists. It kept the wine and croissant on the table. So definitely leave it with your publishers. It may just end up in the right place at the right time and provide you with a better brand of jam on your toast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted March 7, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 7, 2012 Ok I am well aware this is a bit of a clunker.... and if i do get it finished... i shall send it off for pitches and things but wouldnt be something id intend on releasing under my own name. Thing is.... ive muted that bang bang piano and it instantly "feels" better.... its not often that i struggle on production (i know this is the wrong forum!) but it seems no matter what i try (piano...uke... guitar) it still sounds better without them. I know im gonna have to add "something" just cant figure what just yet.... maybe more vocally musical things.... maybe little piano, organ, whatever riffs rather than chords and yes i know verse two is probably worse than verse one but im still at the sketch stage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 7, 2012 Moderators Share Posted March 7, 2012 I miss the piano. But! What I hear is a clarinet and trombone playing a harmonized line, sustaining while you sing and moving in the holes. But then I want to hear that piano come in for the chorus!!! Or for the verses something like: (numbers belwo are the beats) L piano bass note 1 2 R guitar chink 3 rest 4 rest 1 L piano bass note 2 R guitar chink 3 L piano bass note 4 repeat through changes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted March 7, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 7, 2012 I miss the piano. But! What I hear is a clarinet and trombone playing a harmonized line, sustaining while you sing and moving in the holes. But then I want to hear that piano come in for the chorus!!! Or for the verses something like: (numbers belwo are the beats) L piano bass note 1 2 R guitar chink 3 rest 4 rest 1 L piano bass note 2 R guitar chink 3 L piano bass note 4 repeat through changes. yeh that makes sense.... i think its gonna need some piano back in, especially on the chorus.... dunno it seemed to be too clunk-clunk-clunk will have a play grrrr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted March 7, 2012 Members Share Posted March 7, 2012 wouldnt be something id intend on releasing under my own name. Good. It's not up to your usual standards. Surely there's something in your catalog that you could submit instead of this? LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted March 7, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 7, 2012 Good. It's not up to your usual standards.Surely there's something in your catalog that you could submit instead of this?LCK haha is it "that" bad!! i'll be honest , my hearts not in it....its why im struggling with it musically.... its normally so easy i think the time has come to just say bye bye...regardless if a few people think i should perservere Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 7, 2012 Moderators Share Posted March 7, 2012 Dump it and do something else. It's funny though... I sort of liked it a lot in its previous incarnation with the piano. I thought it worked for what it was. You adding the small metaphor touches and rerouting the melody. It worked. I'd go back to that, polish the mix and turn it in and see what they say... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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