Hey Bartender

[rhino55]

Simple little song. Written and demoed after a few drinks last night.

 

Starts with the refrain and wears it out over the next 3 minutes. Is the repetition of "hey bartender" too much?

 

http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=11503043&q=hi&newref=1

 

Hey bartender

Won

[stickboymusic]

Yeh its a good idea for a drinking song

 

"lifes too short for plastic cups" this line sounds and sings well but doesnt really mean anything?

 

Life

[Oswlek]

I do think the refrain gets too repetitive. At the very least, it should only be done once in the open, and then perhaps one time as well the first time afterward.

 

Then, after "drowned" you start to double them up, along with some not-quite-parallel backing vox and instrumentation. Spice up the {censored} out of them and make it a treat to sing along to, and earn the right to play it more than once at a time.

[rhino55]

I do think the refrain gets too repetitive. At the very least, it should only be done once in the open, and then perhaps one time as well the first time afterward. Then, after "drowned" you start to double them up, along with some not-quite-parallel backing vox and instrumentation. Spice up the {censored} out of them and make it a treat to sing along to, and earn the right to play it more than once at a time.

 

I like these ideas. Alot.

 

Hey bartender (then another voice, almost like an echo, while the first voice is holding out the 'errr') bartender.

 

There is lots of space for harmonies on the refrain.

 

[Lee Knight]

I like what you've got so far! But... if you were to open up the Refrain to other 2nd lines, you'd open up the song to other rhymes as well.

 

Hey bartender

Won

[stickboymusic]

 

I like what you've got so far! But... if you were to open up the Refrain to other 2nd lines, you'd open up the song to other rhymes as well.   Hey bartender Won

[Lee Knight]

 

although round does have many rhymes drowned pound ground frowned sound mound wound hound (she looked better when drunk)

 

 

Of course! And that might be the way to go. My first reaction, which is frequently wrong, is that the same rhyme was dragging the momentum down. It's not lack of rhymes, it's the same rhyme sound over and over that feels like a bit of an albatross.

 

Or not.

[rhino55]

 

Of course! And that might be the way to go. My first reaction, which is frequently wrong, is that the same rhyme was dragging the momentum down. It's not lack of rhymes, it's the same rhyme sound over and over that feels like a bit of an albatross. Or not.

 

 

What if I added a bridge? Change things up musically and give a break from the 'ounds'

[bee3]

I think the Won't You Pour Us Another Round is too repetitive...

 

Hey bartender

Won

[bee3]

 

What if I added a bridge? Change things up musically and give a break from the 'ounds'

 

 

Yes! Absolutely... maybe it breaks down to a chugga-chugga type of guitar thing... that incorporates a repetitive vocal thing that becomes a sing-along of its' own... then it crashes back into the chorus and out.

[Lee Knight]

 

What if I added a bridge? Change things up musically and give a break from the 'ounds'

 

 

That might be cool! Do something different like shouting out drink names.

 

Sex on the beach

Alcoholic peach

Petron neat

Then into the breach

[bee3]

 

That might be cool! Do something different like shouting out drink names. Sex on the beach Alcoholic peach Petron neat Then into the breach

 

This would be cool... whatever it is, it should take on that sing-along theme. Think a modern day "Cocktail" only without Tom Cruise... maybe that dude from the Hangover with our very own Lee Knight as Coughlin.

[Lee Knight]

[rhino55]

That might be cool! Do something different like shouting out drink names. Sex on the beach Alcoholic peach Petron neat Then into the breach

 

 

I like making fancy cocktails at the house. Stuff like a sazerac, gin fizz, French 75, old fashion. That doesn't exactly fit the feel of the song.

 

At bars it is always beer and/or whiskey, maybe a car bomb if we are really going nuts.

[bee3]

 

oh la la That would be great because it would add some tension and release. As it stands now, it's sort of all release.

 

 

Exactly.

[Snappy Hat]

[video=youtube;urcoXmrykKQ]

[RickBeall]

I like the "Life is too short for plastic cups" line. Keep that! The suggested replacement was too abstract. The "life is too short for plastic cups line up the glasses" is more poetical because it refers to physical objects. By "Line up the glasses" I assume you mean the glasses made of glass. I got that right away. The meaning was clear.

[stickboymusic]

 

I like the "Life is too short for plastic cups" line. Keep that! The suggested replacement was too abstract. The "life is too short for plastic cups line up the glasses" is more poetical because it refers to physical objects. By "Line up the glasses" I assume you mean the glasses made of glass. I got that right away. The meaning was clear.

 

 

I actually think the original line is more abstract

 

why do plastic cups waste your life? they are (usually) the same size as a glass (pint) so having glass instead of plastic really isnt making any more of this short time we have on earth

[Oswlek]

I interpreted plastic cups = drinking beer, glass = drinking shots, but I'm not much of a bar guy.

[bee3]

Plastic cups are only good when playing beer pong. I insist on drinking beer out of a glass.

[stickboymusic]

I interpreted plastic cups = drinking beer, glass = drinking shots, but I'm not much of a bar guy.

 

ahhh well if that is case then yeh makes perfect sense - plastic cups are only really for gigs/festivals ect in the uk

[bee3]

 

ahhh well if that is case then yeh makes perfect sense - plastic cups are only really for gigs/festivals ect in the uk

 

 

Same here... well, unless you go to in a real {censored}e bar.

[rhino55]

 

I actually think the original line is more abstract why do plastic cups waste your life? they are (usually) the same size as a glass (pint) so having glass instead of plastic really isnt making any more of this short time we have on earth

 

 

They are the exact same size.

 

And while it might effect the taste, it really comes down to me not liking the feel of a plastic cup in my hand.

 

Plus when you do shots and they have that little plastic cup or a regular size plastic cup they just put a shot in... it cheapens the experience. Raise the glass, touch it to the bar, hear it make that sound, knock it back, drop it back to the bar. Ritual, process, whatever you want to call it, I like to experience things with all five senses and the plastic doesn't make that 'clunk' sound.

[rhino55]

 

ahhh well if that is case then yeh makes perfect sense - plastic cups are only really for gigs/festivals ect in the uk

 

 

We should have never rebelled.

[bee3]

 

They are the exact same size. And while it might effect the taste, it really comes down to me not liking the feel of a plastic cup in my hand. Plus when you do shots and they have that little plastic cup or a regular size plastic cup they just put a shot in... it cheapens the experience. Raise the glass, touch it to the bar, hear it make that sound, knock it back, drop it back to the bar. Ritual, process, whatever you want to call it, I like to experience things with all five senses and the plastic doesn't make that 'clunk' sound.

 

Ahhh... I get it now. F plastic cups.