Another weird one

[gubu]

I seem to be writing a lot of modal stuff with weird lyrics lately.

 

Maybe this one is re-recording to a higher spec? Thoughts?

 

http://soundcloud.com/gubu/guileless

 

 

Lyrics:-

 

 

I'm out of luck, And I don't care anymore. And when you wake up I'll be here, Don't lock your door, 'Cause you've got so much more Left to have, And I'm still yours. Don't waste your time Inside your mind, You're not alone. The world outside is everyone, Your eyes are yours. And when it gets too bright For you to see, I'll save your sight.

 

[HoboSage]

Hi, Adrian:

 

I think this is amazingly beautiful, creative and cool, and though your other songs on soundlcoud are all very, very good, I think this one is special. I'm not sure what you mean by contemplating "re-recording this one to a higher spec," but I hope it just means making the recording as clean and as technically good as possible, and that it doesn't mean you're going to change these arrangements or add other ones. I love this as is: guitar + vocal + the right delay. It's so unique-sounding. It's brilliant.

 

David

 

P.S. Here's my vote for expanding Lullaby No. 1 too.

[Oswlek]

Very cool.

[gubu]

Hi, Adrian: I think this is amazingly beautiful, creative and cool, and though your other songs on soundlcoud are all very, very good, I think this one is special. I'm not sure what you mean by contemplating "re-recording this one to a higher spec," but I hope it just means making the recording as clean and as technically good as possible, and that it doesn't mean you're going to change these arrangements or add other ones. I love this as is: guitar + vocal + the right delay. It's so unique-sounding. It's brilliant. David P.S. Here's my vote for expanding Lullaby No. 1 too.

 

Wow!

 

Thank you so much for the kind words. It's one of those songs that I'm a little embarrassed to let anyone hear because of the vibe and lyrical content, but your feedback is very encouraging.

 

Yes, by re-recording I meant to get a better take as there are some obvious fluffs on both the guitar and the vocal, and to spend a little more time on the sonics - micing and mixing. If I could get my sonics up to the specs of your material on soundcloud, I'd be very happy indeed! Digging 'Anthem' right now - that's my playlist sorted for the evening anyway

[gubu]

 

Very cool.

 

 

Thanks man!

[HoboSage]

If I could get my sonics up to the specs of your material on soundcloud, I'd be very happy indeed!

 

HA! Dude, we both know my crappy piezo-quackin' sound doesn't come anywhere near the quality of your rich guitar sound. But, I appreciate that you said so anyway. LOL

[gubu]

HA! Dude, we both know my crappy piezo-quackin' sound doesn't come anywhere near the quality of your rich guitar sound. But, I appreciate that you said so anyway. LOL

 

 

That's a strange one. To my ears, your tone makes mine sound really muddy by comparison. FWIW, I did wonder whether that was DI guitar because of the detail and harmonic balance, but didn't hear a huge amount of quack. I'll have to plug into the monitors later for a better listen.

 

I suppose it's like when you get a meal cooked for you, it always tastes better than one you cooked yourself, ha!

[Lee Knight]

You obviously know how to get your whims down on "tape". Freaking cool. Wanna work together?

[Lee Knight]

And I'll play it again...

[Lee Knight]

Holy #$%^& hell... that is really good.

[LCK]

 

I seem to be writing a lot of modal stuff with weird lyrics lately.

 

 

It's not weird at all. It's quite beautiful, all the way through.

 

LCK

[gubu]

I'm flabbergasted by the reaction to this song. Thanks LCK and Lee - I guess it is worth going for a better take and working on the sonics.

[Marshal]

I love it. Everything about it. The guitar work is very engaging. The rise and fall of it. The deep-in-the-hole sound of it; otherworldly. Vocal is spot on. I love the deep reverb of it all. Has a haunting quality that matches the feel dead-on.

 

I think what carries it, though, is the very lovely melodic nature of the vocal over the rhythmic sounds. Your voice is wonderfully casual, comfortable, and engaging. Pitch is close to perfect. Only "wake up" seems a slight bit tentative. The rest is solid evocative front to back.

 

I'm listening again. Probably will do that several times.

 

Excellent.

[Marshal]

OK I listened again. (3rd time).

 

Lyrically its a little loose. I'd love to hear you enunciate "And I'm still yours." I lose "yours." If I didn't have the lyrics in front of me I wouldn't know what you were singing. And that's the clincher final line of the verse. I know you're getting whispery with the line for effect. But if the word gets lost, so does the meaning.

 

Also, I kinda wanted you to come back to the same line ("And I'm still yours") at the end of the second verse. That's a powerful line and completes the thought of each verse (and the song). Yes, "I'll save your sight" says teh same thing in a different way (completeing the other metaphor) but it's not as strong a line as "I'm still yours." Maybe you keep it as it is and find a way in the wandering instrumentals at the end to fit in one more vocal reprise of the first chorus "Cause you've got so much more left to have, And I'm still yours". Or maybe just the closing line: "And I'm still yours." (or both the chorus and a repeat of "yours.")

 

The song is only 2:55 long, so you could do a reprise without making it too long.

 

Then you've got your title, "I'm still yours." And you'll be famous.

[gubu]

Thanks Marshal. Like I was saying, I can't get over the response to this song. It certainly seems that it's worth trying to get a better take and recording.

 

You're right about the vocal - that low D on 'yours' is right at the bottom of my range, so I'll have to do some vocal exercises and work on mic technique before recording it again. TBH, I just kind of threw that vocal down to hear what it would sound like.

 

That's a great suggestion for a reprise, and I'm gonna give it a go as I'm practising the song over the next few days (weeks probably!). There are different possibilities for making that happen and I think it can work.

 

And, haha, I'd pick fortune over fame any day of the week!

[Matximus]

Nothing weird about it. It's a nice song. It's crafted well and hits all the cues.

 

But since you're talking weird: It might benefit from some weirdness, though. It's so pleasant & straightforwardly competent it runs the risk of being bland. Sorta forgettable. And the reverb struck me as a tad distracting - you play & sing well enough that you don't need that much reverb to hide mistakes.

 

But again: It's pretty & good. The context of my response is I was bracing to hear something strange from the subject - but when the song started, I'm like: Oh, a nice acoustic song from a guy that knows what he's doing. There's nothing weird about this. I was bracing for something kooky. But it's clear you know what you're doing from A - to - Z. Skilled as you are you should take what you know out for a spin and legitimately get sorta weird with it, is what I'm saying. Hell, you feel weird already. Fly that flag.

 

Johnny Cash thought it'd be a cool idea to put mariachi horns in Ring of Fire. That's the kinda weird I'm talking about. You can do that kinda {censored} when you know what you're doing. Throw a kazoo in this bitch or something. Some cowbell. That'd be weird.

[RickDieffenbach]

I love the guitar playing background in this song. Echos of The Frames/Glen Hansard, and that is a very good thing.

 

Melodically very appealing and lyrically very poetic and beautiful.

 

If I had one suggestion, it would be to throw a little surprise in somewhere, shake things up melodically, perhaps by adding a contrasting bridge.

 

You've really got a good vehicle going here! Simply a beautiful listen.

 

Rick