Members Folder Posted June 24, 2012 Members Share Posted June 24, 2012 http://soundcloud.com/user9168264-1/gonna-fight-mp3 Rough run through recorded with a video camera.I have guitar, organ, horn parts and a bridge for it but don't know if they will fit with the vocal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monkey Uncle Posted June 24, 2012 Members Share Posted June 24, 2012 Not sure if you're looking for constructive feedback, but given the purpose of this forum, I'll go ahead and provide some. First off, man what an awesome voice! You've really got the pipes to deliver a song right. Secondly, can you post the lyric? I'm getting enough of the words to think that they might be interesting, but I can't really make them out well enough to comment on them. I really like the overall R&B vibe, but I think you need to vary the rhythm some through the course of the song. The military march beat is cool in the beginning, but about a minute in, I was ready for the song to take off and go somewhere. Especially when you hit the chorus (there is a chorus in there somewhere, right?). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marshal Posted June 24, 2012 Members Share Posted June 24, 2012 Cool song. Cool performance. Great voice. Live, right? I would love to hear a studio version. Bring the vocal more up front. I'm sensing some natural room reverb. Not bad. But I'd love to hear the lyrics. In a live recording they're kinda muddy. The song itself might be a little wordy. There's some powerful lyric stuff happening. But not much we can remember and carry away as a listener. I didn't sense a hook. could be the live recording muddied some of that. But it's a great song. Great feel. You've got the pipes to carry it off. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Folder Posted June 26, 2012 Author Members Share Posted June 26, 2012 Not sure if you're looking for constructive feedback, but given the purpose of this forum, I'll go ahead and provide some. First off, man what an awesome voice! You've really got the pipes to deliver a song right. Secondly, can you post the lyric? I'm getting enough of the words to think that they might be interesting, but I can't really make them out well enough to comment on them. I really like the overall R&B vibe, but I think you need to vary the rhythm some through the course of the song. The military march beat is cool in the beginning, but about a minute in, I was ready for the song to take off and go somewhere. Especially when you hit the chorus (there is a chorus in there somewhere, right?). Thanks, I'm not the singer but yeah, he's got a great voice. I write the music and give him the demos to listen to and he writes the words. It's funny that you heard a military march beat because I didn't think it was in that version. The original demo had drumming in it that he said reminded him of a military beat and that's how he got the idea for "Gonna Fight" The chorus is the Gonna Fight part. The song has a verse, pre chorus and chorus. The demo has a post chorus section and we debated whether to keep it or not. I thought we should cut it even though I wrote it. It's really hard to cut part of a song that you wrote but I made the decision to cut it because I felt the song flowed better without it. Here is the original demo: http://soundcloud.com/user9168264-1/gonna-fight-instrumental Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Folder Posted June 26, 2012 Author Members Share Posted June 26, 2012 Cool song. Cool performance. Great voice. Live, right? I would love to hear a studio version. Bring the vocal more up front. I'm sensing some natural room reverb. Not bad. But I'd love to hear the lyrics. In a live recording they're kinda muddy. The song itself might be a little wordy. There's some powerful lyric stuff happening. But not much we can remember and carry away as a listener. I didn't sense a hook. could be the live recording muddied some of that. But it's a great song. Great feel. You've got the pipes to carry it off. Well done. I think the hook is the Gonna Fight part. Originally it was the verse part but it became the chorus because we thought it was the hook. Yeah, he writes a lot of words and wants to get them all in. We might need a producer to help us edit stuff because I don't know how to do it. We've changed the song structure on a lot of stuff in order to make the words fit. Some of the songs keep getting longer and longer but they sound right to me. I don't mind long songs but most people probably would like them to be shorter. Here is the latest one at seven mintues long:http://soundcloud.com/user9168264-1/throw-it-all-away The original demo is only three minutes:http://soundcloud.com/user9168264-1/throw-it-all-away-instrumental Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monkey Uncle Posted June 26, 2012 Members Share Posted June 26, 2012 I think what made the first version you posted sound "military" is the snare and the keys landing evenly on all four beats. I noticed your most recent recording doesn't have that rhythm. You might consider using both - maybe the military rhythm on the verses and the other on the pre-chorus and chorus? The variation would help keep it interesting. Also, I preferred the slightly faster tempo of the original post. And, yes, seven minutes is too long for me. Such an extended jam might work in the right live setting, but I lost interest in the recording about four minutes in. I'd cut all but one of the guitar solos. I would guess the lyric needs to be tightened up, too, but I still can't catch it all, so I can't offer any specific suggestions there. You mention needing a producer to help you with the trimming. Some of the folks who post here are pretty darn good at that, so I suggest you post the full lyric and let them have at it. You can always ignore any suggestion with which you don't agree. No one here gets offended by that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted June 26, 2012 Moderators Share Posted June 26, 2012 It's cool! Kind of a twist on I Put A Spell On You. Very cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BumbleBb Posted June 27, 2012 Members Share Posted June 27, 2012 I'm not sure if you're looking for input either, but if you are, I agree with Monkey Uncle, I like it but I agree it needs more variety. I found myself checking to see how long it was, thinking it was going to show as being long and was surprised to see it's only 3.5. So, not long but felt long I think because of monotony. Good song, but needs a little more variety in there I think, some change or changes to break it up a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RickDieffenbach Posted June 27, 2012 Members Share Posted June 27, 2012 I'm not sure if you're looking for input either, but if you are, I agree with Monkey Uncle, I like it but I agree it needs more variety. I found myself checking to see how long it was, thinking it was going to show as being long and was surprised to see it's only 3.5. So, not long but felt long I think because of monotony. Good song, but needs a little more variety in there I think, some change or changes to break it up a bit. Agree with 'Bee. You have some really good material here, but throw in a little surprise for the listener, give it some variation. Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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