Members nat whilk II Posted January 7, 2014 Members Share Posted January 7, 2014 Tossed these off this a.m. after tossing and turning with weird dreams last night. Might as well make some art out of bad night, right? the vibe of the backing tracks will be something like Zeppelin's Rock N Roll, except slowed down at bit, far less raucous, and maybe a bit of chordal fanciness 'cause I get bored with I-IV-V and so on. Shakin' Methe high wind hits and the grid goes down and it'sshakin' medark forms flit at the edge of town and it's shakin' me uneasyqueasyhaunteddauntedgotta movecan't budgesomebody give mea little nudge (please!) the sea is strange and birds have flown and it's shakin' methe child climbs high and it's all alone and it's shakin' me things flycross the skycan't lookoutsidegotta movecan't budgeGod give mea little nudge (please!) lead bridgeoh, small days of common ways and meansfixing and maintaining small machinesrub your knuckles, soothe and rest your mindonly small ambitions can save mankind.[beautiful small paintings can save your mind] the high wind wins and the tower falls and it's shakin' melitter skids through the government halls and it's shakin' me mad Tomthrows a bombcrazy Nellcasts a spelldead nursedrives a hearseover the bodiesof the cursedgotta movecan't budgeGod give mea little nudge,please! bridge, end. Have at you, critics! nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 7, 2014 Moderators Share Posted January 7, 2014 Well... I think it is prime to be something awesome and engaging. It has a post apocalyptic feel at times, and at others more akin to a "wft is happening right now" vibe. So... the outro "mad tom" and on is cool but it feels on paper to be, while a logical next step, maybe premature? My thought is, why move form that moment of pregnant concern and fear. That's harrowing man. But this is on paper. The whole thing is a doozie and some lines are outright righteous. For instance, the image of litter in the gov halls. That is fantastic, calling up recent memories of our post apocalyptic movies and books. Beautiful. But... it also feels as though that's after something has "happened" and the meat of the song is in expectation of it happening. Once again... all on "paper" though. Really cool work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted January 7, 2014 Members Share Posted January 7, 2014 I agree. You've got some great, really, really great stuff down on paper. Just fabulous. This could be very exciting."...and it's shakin' me..." That's killer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 7, 2014 Moderators Share Posted January 7, 2014 If it were me I'd keep it all at the brink of a major catsrophe. All electric anticipation. Some tiny small changes and ditch teh outro. My try at very small changes... the high wind hits and the grid goes down and it'sshakin' medark forms flit at the edge of town and it'sshakin' me uneasyqueasyhaunteddauntedgotta movecan't budgesomebody give mea little nudge (please!) the sea is strange and birds have flown and it'sshakin' methe child climbs high to catch a glimpse of home and it'sshakin' me things flycross the skycan't lookoutsidegotta movecan't budgeGod give mea little nudge (please!) oh, small days of common ways and meansfixing and maintaining small machinesrub your knuckles, soothe and rest your mindsave yourself and maybe save mankind the high wind wins and the tower falls and it'sshakin' meSoon litter will skid through the government halls and it'sshakin' me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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