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OT: Embarassing stories/things about you thread


boatshoes

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Embarassing {censored} eh. Hmm...my woman threw me a surprise birthday bash. My best friend Andrew is a day apart from me so all our family and friends were there. I ended up getting so smashed that when people were leaving I went to give Andrew's step mom a hug goodbye and ended up full on cupping her butt. I didn't even notice until afterwards when my woman asked "Did you just grab Patty's butt?". At that point all I said was "{censored}...{censored}" then ran off so I could die alone in a corner. I'm sure there are better stories out there but thought I would get this thing rolling.

Curtis? You've got some good ones, get in here.

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this story is not about me but nonetheless is entertaining.

so it was my freshman year in college. i got asked to attend this sorority formal with my then girlfriend. first off, at the time we were kind of fighting. she was a bit nuts. had some pretty bad boyfriends before me and was kind of damaged goods (but crazy and super fun to be around most of the time).

well...we go out to dinner. little do I know she took 5 hydrocodene before we left...she ended up drinking a couple drinks at dinner and GOT HAMMERED.

the place we ate at was relatively close to campus and we had walked. we planned to get a cab to the bar afterwards. well because she was so messed up and was passed out I decided it was a good idea to carry her back to my dorm room.

after dragging her drunk ass about a mile i finally got her in my room and thought i would just wake her up...give her some water...and watch over her for awhile.

well...i ended up falling asleep.











around 6:30 am in the morning I get a knock at my door. it is one of the girls that lived in the floor above me...she had my girlfriend with her. i noticed she wasn't wearing the same clothes as before either...

apparently she had left my room butt ass naked around 3 am and started roaming the campus of SMU in the middle of dallas. luckily nothing happened to her and this girl returned her to my room and clothed her as well...she was safe and that was all that matters...but she never lived it down. supposedly a lot of people studying around the library saw her and were talking about it the next day...





(I do not condone drinking on pills FWIW haha)

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A long while ago, back in the 80's I believe, I was at this truckstop just taking a break from a long drive.

This bus pulled up and a few guys got off, and whilst walking, I noticed one of them stop and pick something up off the floor. I believe it was some kind of reflector I think. Anyway, this guy discovered that if he stuck a bunch of these reflectors along the back of his guitar, it reflected the stage lights in cool ways never seen before. haha. can you believe it!

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A long while ago, back in the 80's I believe, I was at this truckstop just taking a break from a long drive.

This bus pulled up and a few guys got off, and whilst walking, I noticed one of them stop and pick something up off the floor. I believe it was some kind of reflector I think. Anyway, this guy discovered that if he stuck a bunch of these reflectors along the back of his guitar, it reflected the stage lights in cool ways never seen before. haha. can you believe it!

 

 

I hear a different story.

 

I hear he only put them on there because it reflected the stage lights in cool way.

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I met my husband at the gym. I thought he was cute so I asked him to spot me while I was bench pressing.
:love::facepalm:



Nice ;)

First time I took my girlfriend to the movies, we hadn't checked out beforehand which ones were playing, and how long they took. She was still in highschool at that time, and her parents were picking her up about two hours after the start of the evening show.


We picked "The Green Mile", not knowing that movie was over three hours long, and not checking our watches during the movie.


Apparently the staff at the cinema had already told her parents (an hour before) that ALL movies had already finished, so they thought we had upped and gone somewhere else.

I didn't make a very good start with my in-laws that day :)



In fairness, that was 10 years ago now, and I get along really well with her parents now.

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I've got an emberassing but terrible one.

I was 17, at a college party my 19 year old friend brought me to. Some chick had it out for me, I forget how it all started but I'm assuming she was talking to me, and she kept getting more drunk as the night went on and whatnot.

Anyways, I'm in the basment sitting on top of a freezer clanking a few with some new people and some chick walks in asking who Zac is. I cautiously say yeah that's me and she says some chick is calling out my name and leads me to this bedroom. So there's this chick flailing wildly on this bed just being drunk. So they start talking while I'm still in the room, and I talk to her a bit, the friend leaves and like instantly as the friend shuts the door she starts undressing, when I turned back there was this bare chested woman desperately trying to take her pants off.

I'm freaking out at this point like wtf man, I say okay this is wierd, you're hammered, I'm outta here. As I go to leave the room, the door swings open and smacks me square in the face, I collapse on the floor and black out for about 10 seconds and wake up to this chick screaming at me "YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED, TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A DRUNK GIRL".

I tell her friend everything that happened and she calmed her {censored} and apologized for door-raping my face. I go to the bathroom to relieve and readjust myself and grab a brew. I head back in...

The drunk one thinks I left and is just whining about how bad she wants me and all this. This goes on for like a half hour until the friend explains that I left the party and I'm gone blah blah blah while im in the corner with a hoodie on just idling by. Drunky finally calms down and says okay..well I've got to go to the bathroom.

I tell the friend hey thanks for calming {censored} down for me and whatnot, she seems like a nice girl but it's not gonna go down like she wants it to tonight. We part ways, I go back to my buddies upstairs and about 10 minutes later this guy goes around saying whoever is a minor, get out, because cops are on the way, the party is over.

Turns out, that drunky is a manic depressive, and the reason you don't take alcohol with anti-depressants is it basically makes you super depressed. Well when she realized she couldn't have me she went into the bathroom and SLIT HER {censored}ING WRISTS. I {censored} you not, ambulance personnel arrived and I just sunk into myself. Everyone was asking around and talking about who this Zac guy is. I go outside to find my buddy, quickly explain {censored} and we decide it's good to leave.

Insult to injury, I explain this to my friends at school and my best friend of the time says "That's a funny story; someone tries to sleep with you and when she can't she tries to kill herself. But you know what would be funnier? If I spread a rumor saying that you had sex with a chick then she tried to kill herself afterwards."

Yeah, FML.

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I stumbled and dropped fries all over a handicapped girl in the cafeteria on the first day of highschool.

 

One time, my guitar cord came out of my guitar twice in one song during a gig.

 

One time I wore white soccer shorts to a pool party. Yeah... :facepalm:

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Wait I remember one...

There was this guy that owns a Surf/skate shop and he was giving out endoresment deals near a park so I rode by him and tried a REALLY hard trick over a gap about 6ft, and I ate it SO bad, like right in front of the guy too. And everyone just laughed so I rode away like a idiot. :facepalm:

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Wait I remember one...


There was this guy that owns a Surf/skate shop and he was giving out endoresment deals near a park so I rode by him and tried a REALLY hard trick over a gap about 6ft, and I ate it SO bad, like right in front of the guy too. And everyone just laughed so I rode away like a idiot.
:facepalm:



You Skateboard? wow that is embarassing. :cop:

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When I was a senior in highschool, I was trying to score some booze. So I went by this house party (older people) to see if I could pull a "hey Mr" or snag a case or something. in the meantime, I end up "dancing" with this total skeeze. Shes grinding away on my leg hardcore. Im like whatever, and go along with it. Then afterwards this dude points to my leg like I spilled something. it was her period blood on me... FML.
Good news is, the next day I ended up going to the mall with my best friend and met up with my dream girl and we had a great day shopping.

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When I was a senior in highschool, I was trying to score some booze. So I went by this house party (older people) to see if I could pull a "hey Mr" or snag a case or something. in the meantime, I end up "dancing" with this total skeeze. Shes grinding away on my leg hardcore. Im like whatever, and go along with it. Then afterwards this dude points to my leg like I spilled something. it was her period blood on me... FML.

Good news is, the next day I ended up going to the mall with my best friend and met up with my dream girl and we had a great day shopping.



superbad-wallpaper-michael-cera-387325_8

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