Jump to content

Beautiful people's club


Uncle_Milton

Recommended Posts

  • Members

Does it ruin your day when you see an ugly person?

 

Well, it should; ugly people are dumb, slow, boring and disgusting. According to modern scientific studies, they have less potential and achieve less in life than beautiful people, as they should. Furthermore, according to market research beautiful appear more trustworthy, and make products appear more cool, reliable and safe. Ugly people clearly make the the modern world worse.

 

A little example:

 

I went into a subway the other day and there was a an ugly girl behind the counter. The thought of her touching my food made me physically sick and I walked out of the store. Do you see what I'm getting at? Ugly people are bad for businesses. Just do a little thinking, and you will be able to come up with some of your own examples of how ugly people ruin everything.

 

So, {censored} ugly people, no one wants to look at them. We should put them in their rightful place, answering phones, maintaining websites, doing our taxes, airbrushing pictures of us beautiful people, and collecting our garbage (but they have to stay inside their trucks, no one wants to look at them).

 

How can we solve this ugly people problem?

 

Well, us beautiful people need to band together, and beautiful people clubs a are a great way to do it. Once all of us beautiful people are working we together, we will be able to pool our collective resources and influence business and government policy.

 

But wait.. aren't their more ugly people than beautiful people?

 

That's right! The world is full of them, but remember no one likes them, no one trusts them and they are all dumber than beautiful people. If you were a company looking for market input on products, who would you listen to? Would you listen to a bunch of dirty ugly people who look like no one cares about them, or would you listen to what the well dressed, responsible, productive, and interesting beautiful people say? The answer is simple.

 

 

But Uncle_Milton, how do I know if I'm a beautiful person?

 

Well, do you get double-takes from the opposite sex, and the same sex wherever you go?

Do random, ugly strangers buy you drinks at bars then try to make dumb conversation with you?

Do people introduce themselves to you before they talk to your friends?

Do expensive cloths fit you better?

Do people ask your opinion about things, even if you aren't an expert?

Have you ever been offered a modeling job?

 

 

If you can answer yes to three of these questions, then you may be a beautiful person, and we would like to consider you further, applications are now being accepted! Don't wait! Make sure to get involved with the people who really matter, because if you don't no one will like you and you'll be forced to be friends with an ugly person. *shudder* Can you imagine that? Having to listen to what an ugly person has to say.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 75
  • Created
  • Last Reply
  • Members
Concept: 10/10

Execution: 1/10

:bor:




See this is what I mean. Ugly people resort to pathetic lies and childish tactics because their feeble minds can't accept their role as second class citizens. Everyone know's beautiful people define reality. We can spell things however we want, and guess what? It's always right because you're ugly.

Eyes on the prize my beautiful brethren. There will be some initial sad response by these dopes, but you're better than they are, and you know it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

We don't need to. Once we take over, the fuggo's will be doing all the spelling for us.


...lavish ain't it?


-Curtis

 

 

See, Curtis understands. He qualified as soon as he first started growing his pubes. He's a high ranking beautiful person and part of our Elite Squad of Sexual Shaming.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Me = 21,215 posts/10 yrs = 2121.5 posts per year = 5 posts per day

 

You = 27,506 posts/3 yrs = 9168.6 posts per year = 25 posts per day

 

My life > Your life

 

Even stupid wannabe beautiful people can't argue with the {censored}ing math, though they may try. :facepalm:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Me = 21,215 posts/10 yrs = 2121.5 posts per year = 5 posts per day


You = 27,506 posts/3 yrs = 9168.6 posts per year = 25 posts per day


My life > Your life


Even stupid wannabe beautiful people can't argue with the {censored}ing math, though they may try.
:facepalm:



You even type like an ugly person. No wonder you're so angry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
The inherent flaw: Beautiful people don't make clubs on the internet.

Beautiful people interact face-to-face, because they're beautiful.


This club's existence precludes its creator's admittance.



Oh snap, OP just got Thesaurus'd. :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

The inherent flaw: Beautiful people don't make clubs on the internet.

Beautiful people interact face-to-face, because they're beautiful.


This club's existence precludes its creator's admittance.

 

 

Spoken like a truly jealous, ignorant mongrel. Recruiting is essential! The world is full of unappreciated beautiful people surrounded by oppressive uggos, ruining their potential. A small boy or girl from a small town can hit the genetic lottery and never know it! The ugly people in their town will be so jealous that they will shame them from going out and meeting their true beautiful people family. A modern society calls for modern measures, and because we're better we know how to keep you riff-raff out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Spoken like a truly jealous, ignorant mongrel. Recruiting is essential! ...

 

 

Hardly.

 

I can answer "yes" to four of your prerequisite questions, which more than qualifies me for membership in your club.

 

However, I have no desire to join a club created for beautiful people that's such an obvious ploy by an ugly person to associate with people who are attractive. Additionally, I can spell and grasp simple logical concepts.

 

No club can really be considered exclusive if it needs to recruit on the internet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Spoken like a truly jealous, ignorant mongrel. Recruiting is essential! The world is full of unappreciated beautiful people surrounded by oppressive uggos, ruining their potential. A small boy or girl from a small town can hit the genetic lottery and never know it! The ugly people in their town will be so jealous that they will shame them from going out and meeting their true beautiful people family. A modern society calls for modern measures, and because we're better we know how to keep you riff-raff out.



This post, in addition to your signature... winner of the day :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
You even type like an ugly person. No wonder you're so angry.



BTW, how many women have told you you look like Brad Pitt, Rivers Phoenix, or a young Robert Redford? I get it often. In fact, why in the {censored} wasn't that one of your criteria?

Hmmmm, I'm starting to suspect you're not very beautiful at all. :idea:

So, let me double check. When a waitress asks you for sweet tea or regular what do you say?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
BTW, how many women have told you you look like Brad Pitt, Rivers Phoenix, or a young Robert Redford? I get it often. In fact, why in the {censored} wasn't that one of your criteria?


Hmmmm, I'm starting to suspect you're not very beautiful at all.
:idea:

So, let me double check.
When a waitress asks you for sweet tea or regular what do you say?



I already told you whiskey, now trot back and fetch

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...